My brother who is 22 was just diagnosed with schizophrenia, he was normal his whole life until about 8 months ago. He never showed a single symptom until 8 months ago. It started with him wanting to mostly be alone, he didn’t answer any of my family’s calls he ignored everyone this went on for about 2 months. Finally he started staying with me for a little bit this one day he thought someone was in my home when I wasn’t there and he jumped out the window, I had to leave work and I explained to him nobody was there but no matter what I did he didn’t believe me.
He began living at my parents and the symptoms began to escalate quickly. we weren’t sure if he was on drugs or what was going on, he would ask the same questions over and over and his reaction was like he’s never heard the answer, meanwhile it would be his fifth time asking. he now believes someone is taking over his mind, he looks like he is awake but sedated. The doctors are beginning new medications asap but he doesn’t want to take anything. It has been very hard on my whole family and he is so young. I just want to know if it eventually gets easier and what I could do to help him even a little bit. he use to call me about 6 times a day, I would tell him I was at work and call him later but he would call again ten minutes later with no memory of calling me. Its been very difficult watching him go through this and not being able to help.
Carey, The best thing you and your parents could do is attend NAMI’s Family to Family classes together - in person is best, but online can be more available.
Read everything you can, a good starting place is Dr E Fuller Torrey’s “Surviving Schizophenia, A Family Manual”. My son had the symptom “anosognosia” this symptom makes our family members very resistant to taking meds. Read Dr Amador’s “I’m Not Sick, I Don’t Need Help”, he will teach you how to talk with your brother in a way that will help you find a way to get him on medications.
Best to you, your brother is young, get everyone in the family on board with Dr Amador’s LEAP method. LEAP is the path forward.
Hope has really good recon-the only thing I would add is to ask the psychiatrist if he could get a injectable antipsychotic that can last a month or so-I have a son who was diagnosed at 17 and is now 46-we’ve had stable times and times he’s relapsed and doesn’t want to take medication because he doesn’t think he’s ill- it’s difficult to watch a loved one decompensate. I’ve started going to Alanon meetings online and I person-we have to make sure through this we are taking care of ourselves- In harmony
The hardest thing with this illness is insight. Getting your relative or loved one to recognize they have an illness.
An example often used is this. If your brother told you that you have diabetes, would you believe him? If your brother told you that you needed to take insulin for your diabetes would be believe your brother? If your brother kept telling you over and over that you have diabetes and you need to take insulin would you believe him? This is similar to the challenge you will face.
There are many ways to go about it. As mentioned “I don’t need help I am not sick” is one of the most compassionate ways as it builds trust first. It looks like your brother trusts you, and that book will help you use that trust to get him to gain insight.
There is a word you can lookup. Anosognosia
Take Care
My son has that and especially since he decided to go off his meds. He doesn’t recognize that he needs help and keeps refusing meds and help when offered. It’s so sad. Schizophrenia can destroy a life.
Carlie, this post is old but wanted to ask if your son ever accepted going back on medication? My son Ben is 30 and will not take meds. My wife and i are at a loss on how to get him back on meds.
Hello, unfortunately he’s still in jail refusing medication- I haven’t seen or spoken to him for 6 months- we used to talk daily and I’d go over his house weekly. I also brought him to his appointments- he was very dependable and took his medication without question. I don’t know what happened but he decided he didn’t need medication and he wasn’t sick- he was taking weed and mushrooms. He was out of his mind- he didn’t make any sense- I couldn’t have a conversation with him- the only thing is to see if he can be involuntarily hospitalized for evaluation- it’s not necessarily a solution but you never know- sending you and you family peace- I attend Alanon meetings that are helpful-
I am so sorry, my son’s was insidious,(maybe like your son’s?) Mike’s symptoms advanced in a subtle, stealthy manner. I think we would have had much better luck getting him on meds if we had known what was going on during those early years. By the time we knew what was going on, his anosognosia was in full bloom.
My son is 46 and was diagnosed at 17 - he had a few rough times but always got back on meds and recovered- this situation is just unmanageable and court won’t do anything-so he’ll be homeless when he gets out- he’s also in a wheelchair- unable to care for himself-
I am so sorry you are going thru this. You are a wonderful sister to care so much about your brother. At this point I would suggest you just be there for him as much as you can, without giving up a lot of your own life. A lot of times when our loved ones get SZ we try so hard to help them that we neglect ourselves. Of course it will be really beneficial for him to have your support and friendship as much as you can give. Do not forget to set boundaries for yourself on how much you can be there for him. Best wishes
" At this point I would suggest you just be there for him as much as you can, without giving up a lot of your own life."
Best advice. I sacrificed my whole life to try to help a lazy ingrate of a brother. And now I’m old with nowhere to go, estranged from my family because I “didn’t do enough” to help Billy.
Don’t do that to yourself. It’ll just be 2 lives wasted instead of 1.
Thanks Eddie, you have some great points. I am have gotten a lawyer who I will talk to next week, more money spent on him, I know he can t help it as it is the illness not him, but I have given so much of my life already and nothing ever gets better, just worse. These past 14 years of dealing with him have taken over my life and aged me terribly. I hope you have a peaceful day and enjoy your cat. I will post as things unfold, I want to enjoy my day and try not to get consumed in my thoughts about this mess.
Best of luck Irene. You have to take care of yourself.