Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Advice please ?!!!


#1

Hi , I am a new user to this site. I am looking for as much information and advice possible for my brother who was diagnosed with schizophrenia. My brother Was first diagnosed a yr ago. My parents were in denial of his condition for years. They finally listened to me and took him to the doctor , my family is homeless and has been living with me for 3 years including my brother. The problem is my brother is on medication and sees a team 4 days out the week. He say he only sees people like scary faces but he doesn’t hear anything. Well I hear him taking to himself Or someone else saying things like “ you ■■■■■■■ stupid ■■■■■ you been holding us back for 2 ■■■■■■■ yrs “ . Should I be concerned? I have 4 kids and now I’m thinking they need to move ASAP. Mostly because my mother is extremely in denial. And covers his actions up.


#2

Your brother sounds like he has schizophrenia, has been diagnosed and is on treatment but still has some residual symptoms (sounds like he’s talking to voices still…). With 4 kids you have a lot on your plate already… but most people who have schizophrenia are more a danger to themselves to others. You would need to be worried I think if he abuses drugs or alcohol or has a history of violence. How stressful is it at home right now? How are your kids doing?


#3

My adult daughter with sz lives with me since becoming ill. She denies hearing voices, but does, and she talks aloud to them when alone (and sometimes in public). It used to scare me, but she doesn’t anymore. I understand her behavior is not her choice: a bit strange, but not harmful except when her talking/yelling wakes me at night, or I lose my temper (which is bad) as she reacts badly.

Probably you brother cannot actually recognize his own behavior. The delusions (beliefs) and hallucinations (voices) are almost impossible to control by the ill person. My daughter’s only control is to go be alone in her room when they take her over. Yet, she is a kind loving person when she is in control.

You have taken on a huge responsibility in caring for your extended family as well as your children. I would advise taking care of yourself and your children as first priority. Then do what you can for the rest of your family. Most likely the only reason to have them move is if your children are badly affected by the odd behaviors. That is a good reason to have them move, if that is the case. My other adult children moved out because of my daughter’s odd behavior. They couldn’t handle the stress of it. I have a 5 bedroom home, they could have stayed, but are happier since leaving.


#4

My kids are 5, 3,2 and 3 months so they do not notice. But it’s not that he’s talking to himself that worries me , it’s what he says to himself. All the cursing bothers me. Thanks for responding


#5

Welcome to the forum. Very sorry to hear about all that your family is going through. Heck of a way to celebrate Christmas huh? I understand. Stress is no help for anyone, let alone someone dealing with a mental illness. I don’t know where abouts you live but if you are in or near a major city in the US. Many cities have something like a HUD (Housing and Urban Development) or Metropolitan Housing Authority that specialize in emergency housing for the homeless. It requires the paperwork to be completed and you would have to stress that you cannot continue to be the housing provider for them, sometimes they might say “well why can’t they stay with you?” With all of your children to care for you have a valid reason for getting them other living arrangements and not so much because of any particular impending dangers but more just the logistics, stress and chaos of it all. Kids seem clueless when they are so young but in fact they are anything but. They just don’t have the skills to process or understand what they see and hear so often they say nothing.

My sister who is schizoaffective was suddenly homeless at one time and was quickly moved into an efficiency apartment through MHA. In addition if you have a NAMI office in your area (National Alliance on Mental Illness) They are in fact a wealth of multiple resources and a source of education on mental illness through their free Family to Family classes they offer. I took the course years ago when my son was first diagnosed with schizophrenia and it helped me tremendously.

In addition to possibly contacting either HUD or MHA for housing possibilities there is an entity called National Church Residencies and I do not know how wide spread they are across the country. I know you don’t have to be church affiliated to call them but what they do is they buy properties in various places and I suppose rehab them themselves and then they rent them to people with low income or people in need of emergency housing. From what I understand they try to make sure they are in safe areas as well. I just found out about them recently because I am considering moving and I have limited income with my sz son living with me. I found a link to their website: http://www.nationalchurchresidences.org/#/home And here is a link to NAMI : https://www.nami.org/Find-Support/NAMI-Programs/NAMI-Family-to-Family Also when you make phone calls ask if there is a “mental health ombudsman” in your county–if you have one they are invaluable in linking you up with all kinds of resources from mental health care, to housing to pretty much anything your county or city has available. I wish you well in your journey through this, it is difficult but if you remember to care for yourself first so you can stay strong, you will make it through to a different and hopefully better place with your family down the line. Merry Christmas to your family and a Happier New Year in 2019.