I agree! I’m a single mom and My son is 32 and was diagnosed at age 22, I think. It’s a roller coaster ride daily bc he also has borderline personality disorder. Sometimes I think I’m the one with the disorder bc he is very smart and resourceful and I have a very hard time getting him to adhere to his meds!
But after 10 yrs of research and dealing with his brain disorder I can look back now to as early as 8 when he started showing symptoms. So like @slw said, @Ally if you’re concerned, get him to a pdoc now and let them know his father has sz! It is hereditary unfortunately. And stay on this forum!! It has been a life line for me!!
I really hope they listen to you and go with your gut. That’s another thing at this point, I don’t know if it because we are just beginning our journey or that we are not legally married but the docs don’t listen to me or ask me anything. You would think theyou would want the opinion of the person who spends 7 days a week with them but I’m not getting that impression. Ive noticed also how quickly my husband goes down hill as well if he doesnt take his medicine properly. I really thought that with the amount of medication he is on that they would really build up in his system longer. But like you said in about 5 days I am contemplating taking him to the hospital.
Sheyelo, I agree I’ve only been on here for 2 days and already love it. No one in my family is sure what to do or has any advice, I’m the one educating them. So it is such a relief to hear your stories and advice. My son just turned nine and he is not hallucinating and I also don’t believe there is anything auditory going on but like you said the social anxiety is what I notice the most and also his views on life and how I should be patenting him, which by the way he let’s me know all the time lol. He also has a very serious problem staying focased. He is having alot of trouble at school and homework every single night is a battle. I do have an appointment for him on Monday and will definitely be letting them know about dad’s diagnosis.
My son was the same. They tested him & said he was definitely not ADHD, but that he had a “unspecified learning disorder”.
He had memory deficits including long-term, short-term & processing - that makes school very hard since they memorize so much.
However, he scored off the charts in coming up with unique solutions to unusual problems - meaning he was very imaginative & creative. That’s great, but it can also fuel his delusions.
If he goes to public school, you should also talk to them about testing him. They will decide if he is capable of performing at a higher level than he actually does & make accomodations if he needs them. For example, my son had a hard time with language & was more of a visual learner than an auditory learner, so they taught him that way.
At times, I also had his homework limited because it took him so long. For example, if there were 50 math problems that were pretty much the same thing, he might only have to do 10.
He also got extended times on tests if needed it, he could take his tests in a quiet area, and if he felt like he needed it, he could get someone to read the test to him. He didn’t always take advantage of everything, but some of those things were great.
In hindsight, I truly think it was early signs of mental illness instead of a true learning disability.
When his teacher first started calling me in regards to my sons troubles staying focased I explained my situation and asked if there was any help the school could offer and I was told no! Of course this is with no paperwork from the doctor just a mother asking for help. Maybe things will be different next year with a new teacher and some medical insight though
With my son, his first grade teacher had a son with a learning disability, so she suggested he should be tested.
I didn’t have to make the request.
Doctor’s notes would help, but sometimes you as a parent are the best advocate for your child, especially since the learning disability program may also cover emotional disabilities too. It’s funny that one of my son’s early LD teaches told me he was one of the few kids in the program at this specific school that had a true learning disability without another issue like ADHD or an emotional issue, mostly because he was so well behaved and quiet.
This actually falls under the Americans with Disabilities Act, and if your son does have a disability, whether it’s a learning disability or a mental illness, he has certain legal rights. I wouldn’t just rely on one teacher’s opinion if you think your child needs help. I’d keep going up the chain, politely, to get some help. At the very least, one of the school psychologists or social workers could take a look at things to see if there is any need there or if you’re worried about nothing. After all, it’s their job.
My son definitely had focus issues. He performed quite well in school but homework was sooo challenging. He would take about 3 times the amount of time it would have taken most kids. I thought ADD was the problem but didn’t pursue medication because he had good grades and behavior. He rarely demonstrated strong emotions either. Even after winning a State Champion title in sports, his expression didnt change. It was a joke amongst his team mates and him that nothing really excited or bothered him. Interesting thread…
Across the board right now focas is a major problem. I do find also though that every school year has been different depending on the teacher. But this year has by far been the worst. And the most frustrating part is that my son is so intelligent but he can’t stay focased long enough to complete work or to be able to let his knowledge translate on paper. I’ve also noticed that small things that kids his age normally would have conquered he seems to not even be interested in. For example he can’t tie his shoes or ride a bike but his memory is astounding. It’s almost like he is a 16 year old boy in a 9 year old body. He hates school and school work for that matter. He has never been into sports. He has social anxiety but focuses so much on friendships, how many friends does he have, are they his friend today, do they really like him. I’m not sure what is going to happen in the journey of seeing a doctor but all I want is to help him feel good about himself and be comfortable in his skin. I fear if he does not get the help he needs that when he becomes a teen he will search for substances that make him feel better or do things, the wrong things, to fit in and make friends.
You should at least talk to his pediatrician - and make sure he/she is knowledgable in this stuff, which they should be.
It was a pediatrician at my son’s office, not the one he usually saw but the one that was there when I called in a panic for more valium (the other one had diagnosed my son’s psychotic break as panic attacks) who told me to get him into see a psychiatrist - and called in a favor to get him in with one of the best child psychiatrists in the city.
I had been calling to try to find one, but was having a hard time finding one either on or off our insurance who was either taking new patients or saw anyone under 18. All I was getting was, we’ll put you on the waiting list, or we can see him in 3 months.
I know I am so amazed with what I have experienced so far when it comes to the mental health world. I have never had any experience prior to my husbands diagnosis and I am shocked. There seems to be no rush to help. Maybe this is just my experience or just my area but it’s sad. The hoops they expect someone who is mentally ill to jump through is astounding. Because he has been unable to see a psychiatrist yet we had an issue about 3 months ago where all his medication was running out and he had to make 5 different phone calls to figure out how he was supposed to get his medicine refilled. To some may not seem much but for my husband this was a lot and the whole time his anxiety about what might happen if he could not get it refilled was almost dibilitating in itself
I don’t know if you’re willing to do it, but I do all that for both my son & my husband. My husband isn’t being treated for mental illness, but he has other health issues & if he had to make 5 phone calls, he just wouldn’t do it.
If someone doesn’t want to talk to me, I just put them on the phone to say it’s OK.
And, I agree - what seems like little things to everyone else, are big things to someone with anxiety going on.
But, on the other hand, we make it a point to celebrate the little accomplishments too. The tiniest little things make my day sometimes.
So just a little update…
I feel like things are taking a scary turn. We are just a week away from finally seeing a psychiatrist and hopefully getting some change in meds! Normally when experiences a break it seems to only last for about a day and I can convince him to take his meds and eat and sleep and he seems to get back on track… but not this time and to top It all off he is becoming extremely aggressive! This makes me so nervous I don’t know what to do though. I begged him to go to the hospital but all he tells me is he doesn’t want to be locked up right now… he is so angry all the time! I need advice please!!!
Dear Ally, To keep yourself safe, don’t challenge or argue with him about delusions. Stay as calm as possible. Keep a physical distance that is comfortable for both of you.
Can you make a safe room in your house with a telephone? Keep your car keys on you. Make sure you also have quick access to your money and phone so you can leave if you have to keep yourself from being harmed.
If he becomes very aggressive, you might have to call a local crisis team after you get to safety. Do the research now so you know who to call locally.
If you have to call 911, ask for medical assistance and CIT officers. Emphasize that you would like to get your husband into treatment for a mental illness. Answer all of the operator’s questions. Keep repeating that your husband has mental illness, his current symptoms, and why you cannot handle the situation on your own.
911 is risky because if your husband does something illegal while experiencing symptoms or while interacting with the police, he could be arrested and go to jail. But if that is the only way you and he can be safe, it’s better than him hurting himself or someone else.
Safety first and best to you. He needs treatment and you cannot force him to get it. He is not making the best choices because of his illness. The illness is not his fault or yours.
Thank you so much for your insight… sometimes it’s just nice to hear someone else say… your not over reacting. Unfortunately right now we are living in a two bedroom apartment with our 2 young children so a safe room so to speak is not really possible. Let me also sa that he is doing much better now so things are more at ease. That also being said I fear that with every episode my family becomes increasingly nervous about his behavior. This last time was really the first time I’ve felt nervous for my safety… generally it is his safety I’m concerned with. I ended up taking him to the ER one night because he was acting so strange almost like he was on some kind of substance… luckily my children were already at my mother’s for the night so I didn’t have to worry about them. But moral of the story they did absolutely nothing… nothing at all. I got the we can’t make him go speech and call the cops if you don’t feel safe. I just wanted someone in the medical field to help him, me, us… but like I have seen so many of you post… the understanding just wasn’t there. I left feeling defeted and him feeling empowered which did little for the psychosis… I think in the future when I feel the next episode is coming on I may remove myself and children from the home and let him work it out. Of course I will check on him but not sleep or stay in the house… is this a good idea or not I just don’t know… I don’t want to make my children leave there home everytime dad doesn’t feel well but in may be better than them seeing him like that