Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Off meds more than on them and after effects


#1

Hi. I am new to this site but not so new to schizophrenia.

I have been with my boyfriend aka fiancee for 30,plus years. Over the last few years things are really getting out of control. He has been cutting his time released meds for over a year now by only taking half,then cutting away the exterior shell of the medicine. For a few days only taking crumbs of the medicine. Now nothing.

I have been threatened, kept up all night with numerous phone calls. I,have tried not answering or just so exhausted and missed calls from himy where he would come to my house (where I live with my father whow is elderly and ill) ringing the doorbell, pounding on the door or laying on the car horn. His family isn’t anyour help.

They told him to try melatonin, or st. johns wart. etc. If I go to them or reach out to them all they say is there is nothing that they can do. His older brother hung himself(I never met him) so I can’t believe that they won’t get involved but to a point where either they don’t even call him yet alone stop by to see himore or on the other side give really bad advice.

Right after this last Christmas his brother was in town and he hasn’t seen him in at last 3 years. He mentioned to him that if he was going to stop his meds that he should do it very slowly. I get very upset because they offer this advice but then they don’t get to see or,have to deal with it after the fact. I have tried to talk with his Dr. but then he retaliates. I don’t hardly sleep because he only sleeps approx. only every 3 days. So when he doesn’t sleep now one can.

He is loosing weight and his hygiene is far from good. I am so alone in this. He gets really upset with me because I won’t move in with him. Sometimes he wont unlock the door or let me in after he telks me to come over. His apartment has barrier bars on the door and a security system. He hardly opens the shades or blinds.

My friends are sick of me talking about the same old thing.


#2

Wow. I hate to hear that you are going through this. I know how stressful it can be. My fiancé is SZ but won’t seek help. And his family is the same, “there’s nothing I can do about it, you handle it”… Wow! If it were my son, I’d be on the first thing smoking to try and help him. But it’s left up to me. Most times I just wanna pack up all me and my kids stuff and just leave him, but then I feel Bad. I don’t want to abandon him, when all he really wants is to be loved. But it’s really hard because he’ll say “I think I do need help”. But won’t actually go get it. I’m thinking about baker acting him but I really HATE to go that route.

Just know you’re not alone. How long have you been dealing with this? I’ve only been dealing with it since September but it’s exhausting & very stressful to say the least.


#3

Hello, I’m sorry you are going through this.

Chances are their families really cannot cure mental illness or force their family members into recovery. I hope you find what works best for you in relating to someone you love whose symptoms disrupt daily life.

I hope you get the best results possible in both of your situations. If there is a NAMI chapter in your town, try the Family and Friends support group. There are lots of people who might be able to help you find resources for yourself and/or your partner.


#4

Thank you for your reply. 30 +,years. It is much worse now. He is a master mulipiator. He even fools his,doctor. As of early this morning he has,called me probably 100 times. I had 0 sleep and a,Dr appreciate this morning. Still taking care of my dad. I have a physical problem with stress. He plays off of it now. I am at his apartment in my car because he will not let me in. He has lost a lot of weight in the last few weeks. He wears my size jeans size 29in waist and needs to wear a belt. Yesterday we went to the store together and I bought us,food that we like to make for today and this week. At least he is having some.
You would think that I would be used to this by now.Not


#5

Still going through the same issue. Hardly any meds and he went to his Dr appt to lie. His Dr went to part time and now he’s seeing a nurse. First time that he saw her she commented on how great it was that he was keeping his weight down. 5 7 and maybe 140 pounds. His Dr previously gave him a lab slip for blood work. Many times and just when I thought they would catch on…they switched from a Dr to a,new nurse. He hasn’t had labs in years…yet they keep on prescribing meds?


#6

Almost forgot to mention that he has distanced himself from anyone who really knows him. He had a close relationship with his dad …hasn’t called or seen him in months. Not much time left because his dad is 91 and ill. I feel bad because someday he is going to have to deal with this ugh!


#7

I am so sorry and feel your frustration. I have also been with husband for 30plus years and it has been a challenge. I know how it feels to be so alone. Our partners depend so much on us and it can be exhausting. I would be so upset if anyone suggested that he stop taking his meds. I have also gone through the issue were my husband told doctors that he was doing well on new medication but he was actually not sleeping, lost about 20 lbs in a month, and was delusional. I just walked right into the session and told the doctor what was really going on. I sacred the pdoc but he looked at my husband and said, “well, mr. …you haven’t been honest with me.” and then I walked out before they kicked me out. Unfortunately, its part of the illness when not on medication. This was maybe 12-14years ago. He doesn’t remember much of that episode. I am not sure what advice I could help you with except to say that I am sorry you are going through this and I wish I could offer you more.