I am trying to get a grasp on my son’s continued and obvious defiance even when things are calm. I came across this and my son fits all of the criteria and has for a very long time.
How old is your son?
He is 20 years old…
Okay. He might be feeling like you are undermining his independence by being too motherly.
My son has ADHD, PDD-NOS and ODD. He is a lot of work. He does not live at home because I can’t manage him. He comes visiting every second week this summer. In fall he will come home in weekends. He lives at a care-center(??) there are other kids in his age. They live in a house and there is staff working days and nights. They are teaching the kids to function as good as they possibly can.
Even if I say something good to C., he will oppose it. Almost as if there is a wall. He is still recovering from his hip replacement–he was in pain and was hoping he would be able to get to sleep. I said " you will ". Then he said " dont tell me whether I will or not! " One example. He is actually worse with this now then when he was younger. At least he has learned to not mess around with authority. Now, its just family. My theory is that he is trying his best to do things on his own, and resents that I think I know what is best for him. He wants to make his own decisions on his life-good or bad. Well, this is good at this point in his life. He is going to have to take responsability ( sorry ) for all of that now. This is good. I dont know if this is the case with your son.
In hindsight, I should have let him do this a long time ago. Somehow, it didnt matter-he had no insight. Its very hard to listen to that blame stuff everyday. The only advice I can give is—stick to your boundaries and listen to your instincts…hope this helps a little.
Some genius diagnosed me with ODD when I was like seven. The diagnosis didn’t stick or anything and I didn’t in fact fit the criteria or actually have this diagnosis. ADD too, but that stuck. I just never liked school though…must be something wrong with a kid if they don’t like school right?
When my son was little, he just wanted to do whatever he wanted. He was not violent or aggressive. As he became a teenager, he started doing all manner of drugs and by the time he was 19-diagnosis SZ. Since there is a name for this now, there is therapy. Can I get C. to do it? Nope.
Yeah I did all kinds of drugs in my teens as well, lived real recklessly, drove drunk all the time, vandalized, did some pretty crazy stuff. But this was just a phase I was going through for the most part. I know my parents were not at all sure what I was going to turn out like, but all that worry was for nothing really. I’m a good person and was even back then.
omega 3, fish oil or flaxseed oil, and multi vitamin etc…is being trialed in an australian prison and has shown to decrease aggression in adhd prisoners…
it was on a programe called ’ catalyst '…last night.
it calms the mind and helps the immediate reaction/impulse…they think before acting.
take care
Barbie, My son fits that description, I agreed with that early on. but the bipolar fits the opposition part very well. I have a friend, her son is bipolar, it runs in her family. He was diagnosed with Odd when he was younger, but he is bipolar. My son also fit the Borderline. My son will also have Grandiosity, not as often now. It has changed over time. I think they are at an age where they are adults, coupled with the illness makes this age much worse. I know its so hard, you want your son back. I hope you are getting results with invega. we do know my son has bipolar, possible schizo with it. The symptoms aren’t always textbook.
Robin
My son knows that I think he has ODD. Yesterday we discussed it. He himself will on occasion question why he is doing certain things like sleeping on the sofa which is one of the apartment rules that he sleep in his own bed for several reasons, one being that his sweat smells. He said he is not trying to be defiant which I know. It’s like he does it without thinking or I say on instinct as he understands that phrasing. Anyways he agreed with me that he fits all of the criteria. I just told him that he needs to find a way to control it as in the end he is the one getting hurt the most and that I need to start re-enforcing the boundaries and consequences. Last night he went to bed in his own bed for the first time in about a week and didn’t leave a mess in the kitchen and living room like he has been.
My son does not and to my knowledge has never showed signs of bipolar. His mood is generally stable and even. I have never seen him manic or even depressed. Sad or happy and even hyper due to his ADHD but never manic or depressed.
His pdoc seems to be thinking psychosis NOS as well but only time will tell if it’s that or schizophrenia.
I have tried omega 3, vitamins, herbal tinctures as I use all these things… My son refuses to take them.
Thank you everyone for your responses 
It sounds like you are getting there. I’m glad you are making some progress, and you are not in a crisis. I do know I was struggling when my son was 20. I go through his phases with him. We can all say what works, and every case is different. Today I’m Thankful I have been getting rest on a routine basis. Remember yourself also.