I took him to his new psychiatrist appointment this morning that we have been waiting on since November and he refused to get out of the car and go in. I got his therapist to come to the car to convince him but he wouldn’t. She said if he refuses treatment they will close his case. He insisted that he wants to live on the street because he no longer wants to stay in his grandmother’s house because the noises (the heat running, the ice maker in the fridge, etc) in the house make him feel bad. So he has left to live on the streets because he has convinced himself that is better for him.
I am so so sorry…I am new to this forum as we are 18 mos into this diagnosis…yet I just want to say I feel your pain and see your heart exploding yet again. Sending big hugs your way ! (and your cat is super cute Our kitties are our light through this dark time in our lives
Thank you. We’ve only been going through this since April so less than a year and it has completely torn our hearts out.
Well then I am extra glad you are here. I started with NAMI support groups last fall Then stepped away from all support and am so glad to have found this now. I think our kids are about the same age if I remember from a post of yours I read last night.
To say it has completely torn your hearts out is so spot on. There is nothing relatable to this trauma. To be waiting and waiting (!) for an appointment and then him not go into the building is utterly devastating. And then that he would prefer the streets versus everyday household noises at his grandparents. I am so so sorry
I have no advice. I have no wisdom. I can only say that your fears and broken hearts are completely understood.
Our prayers are with you every step of the way - it’s so sad it’s such a struggle for the care givers ( I understand it’s a terrible brain dis order for some people living with sz) that there isn’t more help and always a battle to get the right help for our love ones - stay strong and take care of yourself as well
While I can relate with his concerns with controlling his environment, especially noises and light that can overstimulate people with active SZ, I lived in a small truck in my prodrome and after it was broken into, became completely homeless. Everything becomes more difficult and you have even less control over your environment.
While you can’t stop him, I would encourage doing everything you can to keep in touch with him and offer to help him in the future if (and when) it doesn’t work out.
How do you feel about NAMI? Beneficial at all? My husband and I need some guidance on how to handle this situation. ‘O’ is going to probably live with us forever and we are not qualified to be helpful…2 hospital stays last year and we’ve already had 1 this year. We are drowning and the state is not helpful. (I’m sorry, I probably should be posting this somewhere else in the forum)
I am so sorry @Cat_Nip - is there anything that you could offer as an incentive to get him to see the doctor the next time you see him?
Initially my son did see a psychiatrist for one year in exchange for us paying his expenses for a trip to Colorado.
I feel your pain. I have been there. And some psychiatrists even charge for those visits. Even if he does not want to go, try to identify a place that takes walks in. In that way you take him when he is ready. There are mental health clinics that are understanding of that and do walks in.
Is there anyway you can rent him a small place? Can he live alone? Homelessness is hard. My son is homeless. If he does not come back you c a n try to find him and see if he returns. Make sure you take him food and some cash. It is a long journey. Take it day by day. No easy solutions.
have you ever seen the movie Soloist with Jamie Foxx & Robert Downey Junior. the movie is where Jamie plays a man that is schizo phrenic and plays the violin and Robert plays like a social worker sort of that wants to help him. anyway. anyone that knows someone with it sz should watch it, i think it could be helpful for aome to get a better understanding maybe.
The clinic should be more understanding, is he off his meds? This can contribute to how he is acting.
Hi, I went through this with my son he had early onset schizophrenia at age 16. He is now 23. He wanted to live on the streets so badly! I kept him off the streets for as long as I could. One day he left, spent about a week on the streets, then came back home. He has no desire to live on the streets again. See if your county has an outreach program. It’s called AOT (assisted outpatient treatment) in my county. They can help
It was good initially; To be in room (pre-Covid) with others going through similar situations like this forum. Yet, with a local group there may be good advice on what resources are available locally. They turned me on to Amador’s book “I am not sick, I don’t need help”. Super beneficial to have read that when this was all first happening.
Nami is helpful because it provides you with a lot of information and group support (of course better without Covid restrictions). Find support wherever you can - other women with adult children that are not “perfect”. And look after yourself - do the things that give you pleasure and keep you centered on what’s real. Avoid long negative “stories” about what the future might hold for “O”. Recovery is possible. My daughter is currently living in a homeless shelter refusing to even believe I’m her mother. I’m just glad she’s safe.
Try to stay in touch with him through a friend or social media so you can at least track where he is. The not knowing is the worst. Do you have access to his bank account? Put some money in it. If he has a phone can you make sure it’s paid for? Become a detective, contact all his friends and ask them to notify you of anything they hear.
We have really benefited from NAMI. 12 week family/caregiver program. Had to wait a few months for a new series to open up. Cheesy at times but it’s another good way to learn more, and most importantly, to surround yourself with others who are experiencing the same crazy-ass journey.
This is the hardest part about this disease. They feel “free” on the streets. I fought to keep my son off the streets for the longest time! He would even sleep in my backyard on a lounge chair for a while. Eventually, he lived in the park behind my house and walked to Taco Bell to use the restroom. (I asked, thank God he didn’t just poop on the streets!!)
Finally, after a week of living outside in 90-100 degree weather, he showed up at my house, sunburned and dehydrated. He has shown no desire to live on the streets again after that!!
He’s aversion to certain sounds can be treated through behavioral therapy. I have a friend who’s going through that. It’s called miso phonia.
See if you can get him medicaid and admitted to a nursing home. My brother would not live in the apartment we had over the garage because of the noise of the furnace and water heater. I understand. He is much more stable on medication, safe, and receives adequate care. After 35 years on a rollercoaster, we have stability. Very grateful!