Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Paranoia Schizophrenia - Family torn apart. Need advice

#1

Hello All. I came across this website in hopes of support and advice for my younger brother who was diagnosed a few days ago with Paranoia Schizophrenia, Bi-Polar, and Depression. I don’t know what to do. He remains in the care of the hospital as of this moment and has been in their care for over a month. There was talk of discharge sometime this week but it could be delayed. He was involuntarily committed after he had a manic episode which involved him taking his bosses’ car because he thought he “deserved it” and a few other episodes to give you an idea of his condition.

It was also discovered that my brother has a substance abuse problem. The hospital has advised he remain sober as this will be important in his road to recovery and with the additions of medication. He’s made some progress at the hospital. But, he still hallucinates, talks of the mafia, and about isis and how he wishes he could stop it. He has a lot of trouble still between what’s real vs. what’s not real. Our family has started to unravel as people point fingers about his next steps to his recovery. There is a pregnant girlfriend who has also cut contact with our family but remains in contact with my younger brother. The girlfriend’s family wants nothing to do with my younger brother but the girlfriend remains in the picture as her family continue to bombard us with empty threats about the trailer expenses that both my brother and girlfriend have rented.

I’m scared because our next plan of action with his discharge is to have my brother sign a contract. We believe it is in his best interest to live with my grandma because she is the only one home during the day. The hospital wants my brother to stay with someone to administer the medication and make sure he attends an outpatient program.

My mom’s side has all agreed to step up and take my brother when my grandmother is away. We’re afraid to leave him alone because he has relapsed before. We’ve made a contract and we’ve all signed it. He’s lived with everyone else in my family prior to this diagnosis and has burned bridges between theft, lies, and stealing the cars at night. Do we simply kick him out if he were to break the contract and put him up at a mission. I’m scared he’s trying to put on his best face to give everyone the answers we want to hear so he gets out of the hospital to run. What do we do. We can’t babysit him all day. We care about his well being but when does it become too much. I have a hard time thinking ahead because I know his patterns and I’ve seen him repeat these cycles. Any feedback would be wonderful. Prayers needed.

#2

How about having him live in a group home? It might be good for him because he will be around people with similar problems and might make a friend.

#3

Great suggestion but he’s not for the idea at all right now. We did suggest this as an option but he’s not interested. We’re hoping the outpatient program gives him more of these resources and ideas. He’s stubborn. He wants to think he can go back to his living arrangement and act like nothing happened unfortunately.

#4

Does he understand that he has very few options due to his behavior and that he is wearing out his welcome with just about the only people in the world who really care about him and his welfare? I think once he understands this he might be a little more open to taking suggestions.

#5

I think @77nick77 is right about a group home being best. Tell him it’s that way or stay in the hospital. I would say this way or the high way but from what I’ve heard on here some szs will take the high way and stay there.

Here’s BarbieBF’s care package"

Please look at these sites:
http://www.leapinstitute.org/5 - under resources are free videos on using LEAP
LEAP is a way of communicating to build trust. Listen-Empathize-Agree-Partner.
http://dramador.com/1 - Dr. Xavier Amador is a clinical psychologist whose brother had schizophrenia. He is the founder of the LEAP Institute. Wrote the book: I’m Not Sick I Don’t Need Help! Can buy from his website.
Search Xavier Amador and LEAP on youtube.com and you should find some long videos
http://www.treatmentadvocacycenter.org/index.php - under problems you will see anosognosia
Anosognosia looks like denial but is different.
http://lesswrong.com/lw/e25/bayes_for_schizophrenics_reasoning_in_delusional/1 - helped my understand delusions
http://www.nami.org/ - National Alliance on Mental Illness.
http://www.schizophrenia.ca/ - Schizophrenia Society of Canada
Can also find some very useful information here:
http://schizophrenia.com/

#6

Does insurance cover the cost for him to remain at a group home? What steps does someone have to take to make that happen. I appreciate any and all feedback. It at least offers him another “option” of sorts.

#7

I was in a group home from 1990-95. I payed rent with my Disability benefits. The owners who ran it knew how much I got and adjusted my rent accordingly so they never charged more than my monthly check. Your brother may be eligible for SSI, have you called Social Security yet to see if he is eligible for benefits? I would look into that as fast as possible.

#8

Since he worked at one time he may be eligible for Social Security Disability.

#9

your story reminded me of my aunts. Schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder run in my family. anyway my aunt has schizophrenia, anxiety and a disfigured arm from a terrible fall. She has lived with pretty much all of her brothers and sisters. Her own kids want nothing to do with her. She doesn’t believe in meds that will help her, she doesn’t do drugs but she use to be an alcoholic.

I hope your brother does well with his treatment, try to get him on disability that will help who ever takes him in and take care of his everyday expenses.

#10

My son was recently detained against his will. The psychiatrist pointed out that he could be detained for up to a month the first time, then (I think) six months at the second stage, then indefinitely. He pointed out that he could be put on an order to continue taking anti-psychotics, and hauled back in if he ceased to take them. Now, he is in the UK, but I know that in some states in the US it is similar. Otherwise, if the pdoc can’t put pressure on, maybe you can arrange an ‘intervention.’ As a family, state your conditions and stick to them. My son agreed to depot injections, and his life has dramatically improved.

#11

Group homes sound good - until you start looking for one. I guess in some places there are good options, but there are very few here in the middle of the USA.

#12

Is there any type of court ordered outpatient treatment where you live? Ours is called an ACT team. They are a state funded group who follow up with people who have a hard time receiving treatment.

Ask your brother’s hospital social worker and share the concerns you have for his well being and the fact that he might become homeless if his behavior is harmful to people he lives with.

Good luck. I hope the best for your family.

#13

We also don’t have any ACT teams where I live - which I think would be the real answer to keeping my son stable and out of the hospital. All these things sound so great - but actually having access to them is a whole other story.

#14

Exactly. Even though there are ACT teams in our state, the resources are so limited that very few people end up in their care, only some people in involuntary commitment as step-down. And only for one year. Hatty is from England where people receive long hospital stays.

I just think it’s always worth a shot to ask a social worker/ case manager what help and programs are currently available.

When we were going through really hard times a provider suggested dropping our family member off at the homeless shelter. And we would have if we had to. There are behaviors that are too harmful for me to live with even though their cause from the illness is not my family member’s fault. I simply cannot experience much verbal abuse or bursts of property damage or other extreme disruption without being (re-)traumatized.

Everyone’s vital boundaries and needs are different. To OP, do your best and the most you feel you can for the person you love. If the family can’t help and have to let go (or put him up at a mission), that does happen and no one is to blame.

Families can only do so much. I’m sorry this is happening in your family. Sending prayers.