Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Please don’t think this

I’m hearing from a lot of people on this forum how distressing it is to see us lead, for want of a better way of putting it, smaller lives.

Yes schizophrenia stole my right to a family, but truthfully there are too many people on the planet and both my husband and I are mildly autistic, so in a way from school days we have not been called forth to be the surviving fittest.

It’s taken my right to a full time job in a high powered role and evenings and weekends socially being fantastic and hobbies and etc but honestly I feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day as it is, when my only responsibilities are towards myself, my husband and mum and sister, who live 35miles away…
I cook healthy home cooked food, from scratch almost every day, (I’m trying to be vegan, and my husband is omni.) I clean almost sufficiently and do all the laundry
I go cycling when the weather is not too raining or windy on my electric bike. I have hobbies like art at the moment, this is an ever shifting thing my hobbies (and I have long breaks from having any)
I watch a lot of tv, I’m addictive and shop on line far too much…But frankly that’s about it.

Overall, I’m not busy like I was when doing 6 months of full time work in my late 20’s, sailing at weekends, cooking for my not live in partner, seeing mum etc

I’m painting quite a rosy picture, but I’m 46 and was diagnosed age 18 the right meds have stabilised me, And I found the man of my dreams.
Someone kind enough and gentle enough for Sensitive me.

I have one sister whose schizophrenia got worse by the year and was hit by a car and killed when she was 25. I think I’m just realising that it was really mchildhood onset beginning age about 12. Worst case then I ever heard of on these forums.

My youngest sister was high achieving and was struck with late onset aged 35, 7 years into non compliant schizophrenia. She does not agree to any treatment or help. Lives with our mum.

So, yes there Are different outcomes…
But I had my share of lying on the couch all year reading or staring into space, not exercising a bit for years and also several years of severe psychosis

For me, my own illness - It doesn’t feel like a loss
It never occurred to me that people around me were grieving
I guess it is just taking everything life throws at you and going with it.

I think people could really misinterpret not doing anything as being bored unfulfilled or lazy even. It doesn’t feel like it… maybe you know this though and grieve because of that?
But with support I’ve lived an exciting and varied and fulfilling life.
I am very lucky
Anti depressants are so important
I’m going to start a new thread about it. They have been so helpful and completely life changing for activities and emotional stability, they also help a lot with anxiety. And all doctors now recognise that depression is a huge part of life for most schizophrenic people
I’m happy as a constant rather than enjoying maybe one day out of ten.

Capacity changes so much year to year, month to month
With treatment, compliance, care and support bigger than anything I could ever give anyone recovery is possible
This makes me feel I have stolen my mums life actually… with all 3 of us schizophrenic she has a really difficult deal.

When my capacity was low, I did also hate it… but I did what I could
Adolescence and early 20’s can be pretty awful for everybody

I’ve heard it said that everyone is always doing their absolute best at any given time

I hope this is helpful
I feel like my family has the full range of schizophrenic illness
I know not everyone makes it but no matter how unwell there is hope
Several people on the other forum are older like me and stable like me… even if we had a bad prognosis earlier on in our lives

I’ve gone a bit off topic.
Feeling sad for the person is not as necessary as it feels I think is somehow my point,
If it is relevant for you now, I’m not uninterested or negating… sorry if that came across
But these things can change in time


Well said. When you mourn the “loss” of a loved one to a mental illness, you’re actually mourning the loss of your idealized notion of their potential and past self. But, don’t forget, they’re still there, transformed and full of new challenges and different potentials. Try not to let your grief show, or make unfair comparisons. It reminds me of a pivotal scene in Ordinary People, where Dr. Berger asks Conrad what was the one thing he did wrong, and he says “I hung on.” It’s about learning to live with this new reality and making the best of things—as best you can.


I always enjoy your comments- this last comment is really helpful for me right now- my son stopped taking meds and passed out with 5xs the legal amount of alcohol. Hospital now as of today 30 day program.


30 days is a good amount of time, potentially enough to stabilise on meds
If he needs or can stay longer do…
Hospital can be so beneficial… if med compliant,

My sister has Quite severe alcoholism… has not had a drink for a few days / weeks…
She seems a little less angry and abusive

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I love this, it brought tears to my eyes - I will try not to ever forget


Thank you three for this very thoughtful and honest post. I find this so very helpful. I am so happy for you that you made choices that prioritize your health and happiness. Thank you for sharing this with us. I am so proud of you, I hope that is ok to say. Take care and keep sharing, please.


Thank you for saying and of course that’s okay to say
I’m really happy to hear it’s helpfull


all my best to you and your son.