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The Ups and Downs of a child with Schizophrenia


#1

My daughter has been diagnosed with schizophrenia for more than ten years. We have run the gambit with this illness from the initial onset, denial, hospitalization, and on and on. My daughter lived on her own for awhile, finished college and tried to hold it together with this illness. I admire her so much having to navigate life with such a horrible illness. She left few times, and it was agony not knowing where she was.

My husband passed, and my daughter has been here with me. Now, she isolates, stays in her room and wants to sleep. Every day schizophrenia has a different face, a new color. This week, I have felt sad, crying, just because in some ways I am as isolated as she is. Understand, i Sm grateful she is here st home and not on the street orbin a jail butnit makes me sad that this is all her life may be. It is ok to be sad and cry. Just needed to let it out today. Thanks.


#2

Is this post showing?


#3

Yes it is showing. I am grateful my son is home too but it has created many problems for me. Every morning as I wake up I am hoping for a better calmer day, a chance to see my son more his old self instead of this stranger he has become.My son sits in his room for hours in the dark, no tv no radio.He rants and raves and looks wild. People can tell he is very ill and many have called the police to report him because of ranting and arm gestures. If I take him to the store he disappears and walks around the parking lot which bothers many shoppers so I really can’t do anything with him but I also can’t leave him alone. So I too am isolated.


#4

I hear you, chrome. I wish my daughter were her old self again, hysterical as I wish my husband were here but that’s nit fining ti happen, for my daughter at least not today. I have tried to let go of expectations for my daughter. Her odor says to let her be, and it is the best advise I have heard. Because when I have expectations and they are not met, I become frustrated. This then is about me, not her.

I think I was sad yesterday because I miss my husband and my daughter. Valentines Day brings its own sadness too. One day at a time.


#5

Hi, so sorry about your husband passing, that is so hard. My son moved few months ago into his own subsidized apt. very close to where I live. He totally isolates himself, he does go out with me nearly everyday to run errands or grab lunch with me. I am far more isolated myself since his illness and feel too sad to put on a happy face and try to catch to with an old friend. We are very fortunate to get to be with our children, I am also very grateful, but it certainly has made me a different person. I usually cry every morning ,and then try to go about my day and hopefully my anxiety won’t be too bad on any given day to make me feel very nervous about going anywhere! We have to stay strong for them, Many hugs!


#6

Irene,
Thank you for your kindness.

Yes. We must be strong for them. It is funny, but if I cry, my daughter lately has been asking what is wrong, am I ok. Now that I think about it this is New! Glad your son is close to you. My daughter used to go out and do stuff but after the last hospitalization. I think she is a little scared. For me, when I get too sad, I try to stay in gratitude. It’s amazing how that works. Lol. Have a good day.


#7

Yes, every day is different with this schizophrenia. There is a woman at church whose husband has Alzheimer’s and seeing him deteriorate is strikingly similar to my son’s isolation. She and I encourage each other. It would be so hard to see your husband go through that. Her husband is so weak now that she left him home for the first time this week. She was worried about doing that.

I have often said that at least my son is not in jail, not on the streets, not a heroin addict. There but for the grace of God go I. It’s enough that we love our children but we always think we can do more, don’t we? I wish you peace of mind for today and tomorrow and the next day.


#8

My son’s doctor has a theme of saying our loved ones with scz, they are so fragile, so sensitive.

The different faces, the different days, the waiting for a better day.

Always waiting for those better days.


#9

My sons day consists of sleeping and watching tv. He has no friends so my husband and I feel responsible for providing his entertainment. We take him out to dinner one a week and to a movie once in a while. My social life has diminished to a few friends. The only way I keep going is to think about how much worse it could be. And nothing is guaranteed…some young people have everything going fir them and they end up using drugs and dying. Or die in a car accident etc etc. At least my son is at home with us and we are doing everything we can to give him a good life. Just wish we were not so alone…wish there was something in our community that could help


#10

Julie, you are so right. There is much for which to be grateful.


#11

I am sorry for what you are and have been going through. As a mother one of the toughest parts of this illness is the slow crumbling of hopes and dreams for our children and watching it erode away who they are as individuals, day by day.

My daughter is 10 and that grief is still fresh and raw for me. I still have some hope that maybe we can turn the tide for her but at the same time I have had to change my entire hope for her future and try to prepare myself for the fact that I may lose my child way before I would ever want to, either due to accident, suicide, or unexpected health issue. What we face as mother’s is a daily heartbreak and grief that can bring a sane person to their knees. I don’t have a lot of answers for you but I can tell you, I get what you are feeling. One method I have developed is just taking things day by day because if I look too long term, I will lose my mind.


#12

My struggle also.
In my thoughts…

think%20about%20life


#13

I admire your daughter for going to college and living on her own for awhile. My son who has been dealing with this terrible illnes for 12 years now does not even leave the house unless he is with me. He talks about college and work but he cannot even remember to close the refrigerator door some times. he tries very hard at home helping me because I work a full time job, by putting the dishes away and vacuming the house but I always have to check to make sure he did not place the dishes that he thought were clean but are dirty inside the cabinets. His own handwriting has become illegible, I use to be able to read his journeys but not anymore.

YES it is ok to CRY, be SAD and even get MAD at GOD, the good Lord knows I have several times thourghout the years.
I found that this place is a GREAT place to let it out, because we know what you are going through, we know what it is like, and because we CARE.


#14

I’m reading a book called Chose Joy by Kay Warren and it is helpful and is from a Christian standpoint. We’re doing a four week study at church and I would recommend it.

I’ve listened to an Audible book you might enjoy. It’s totally free, if it’s your first time accepting a book from a friend. http://a.co/cBTXLc7


#15

Julie, depending on where you live, there could be a NAMI organization near you or within a reasonable distance. NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) offers support groups and a wonderful educational class called Family-to-Family. It also offers “peer” group support. I have connected with some folks from the NAMI class that we took. Even emails with other persons going through this with their loved one are helpful. I also have found persons with whom I continue to share my story. There are SO many people that I have learned are going through this or something similar. I found out through someone else about an older (80’s) mom at our church whose adult child with MI is in jail awaiting trial and denies having a family. Since we connected, the mom keeps in touch with me regularly! We help each other. I expect it is harder to share within your own community when your daughter is right there with you in that same community. Our loved one has not lived with us or really been much in our nearby community for a couple of years, so I have taken the liberty to talk about it. I hope it never comes back to be hurtful.


#16

I can relate to you Juliej, my daughter’s day consists of listenting to music and watching music videos on the internet. My husband and I go out for lunches at time and try to provide the entertainment part ( she loved shopping and going to the movies ) but for example she is not interested in shopping anything for herself, she used to love to go to the movies but not anymore, she sees things and its too much voices for her. It make her exhasted. I too wish the community could help make some activities for them.


#17

Thank you Mom2 for sharing this , I will download and listen to it.


#18

Hi Irene, most of the days I cry especially when I am alone at home and ask God for the strength and this in return helps me a lot to get up and go about the day.


#19

I feel your sadness. Right here with you. I’ve never hated anything in my life like I hate this illness. I always take a heavy breath when I visit these forums. I feel understood.

Hang in there…


#20

I hear you. Thankfully, every day begins a new. I am proud of all of our children, who are really brave souls.