Pointing fingers

Hi SZ.com, I was wondering if I can get some help with my situation.
For over a decade I put up with taking care of mom because she won’t and is unable to take care of herself. Like her own medication. And I feel like Dad just left me with this responsibility. It’s his responsibility too. But he is so miserable at it. He can’t keep up. So I end up taking care of everybody including myself. Now under these circumstances. He states that she get better or there is an institution for her in her future.

However I wonder what is going to happen to my mom? Her side of the family share an equal, like I don’t want to take care of her. And we can’t just leave her out in the cold so where can she go? Thanks

Some families turn the tables on their children making them the caregivers. It’s a bunch of wishful thinking because children are not qualified to care for sick parents. There are nurses who do in home care. Is that a possibility for your mother? How old are you?

One of the greatest tragedies of human nature in my opinion is putting the elderly out to pasture and forgetting about them.

i sound like a racist but im not.

My ma spent her life caring for the elderly so I’ve seen the reality.

It seems that a whole lot of Caucasians just forget about their parents as soon as extra care is needed whereas other races actually go out of their way to take care of their elders.

This disgusts me.

There are shelters where you could put your mother that are not that bad. I live in an assisted living center for the mentally ill myself. They could probably care for your mother better than you could. You might inquire what kind of options are available to you for that.

well i’m in my early thirties. I’d never just leave the care I give to my mom, unless she was being cared for. Assisted living centers I don’t think I can afford that. She is not that old 60, but she just refuses to take care of herself. I get really fed up when she is symptomatic. I honestly can’t watch out for her pills like I have been for the past decade. I got jobs to do and things like that. Like my dad, he’s been working the kind of job where your so stressed out to take care of anything else. And my mom’s medication is not on his agenda, unless it’s an absolute emergency. Like when she’s going to cause more hospital bills etc… this whole life has afforded me denied me the freedom to venture off on my own. And I think times are going to change. See my dad just retired and my mom is going with her family that is the only way I see it. Because I’m getting a home without modern day luxuries. And she doesn’t want to live where I’m going to be.

I am probably going to find myself in the same situation as my mother is in her golden years too, and I am retired due to disability, so I am the one who will get that job when it needs doing as I am already doing the cleaning for her.

hi I do the dishes, drive her around, one day she fell in the bathroom and was immobile. I was there to call 911. It’s real hard to judge the health of a person, my dad almost collapsed clutching his heart in the grocery store lot. I was scared. but my mom she seems to be going with her meds. It’s just that bad health can strike at any moment. Like a person literally looking okay by my judgement, became dead the next day due to some medical condition. Bruce Lee had an aneurysm at 36. So you never know.

I just kind of say a prayer to the higher powers that be when it is out of my hands to decide what fate will bring, but I still do what I can to help.