My son is more hunched - like he’s hiding. No arm issues.
She does also have a hunch to her posture. Neck sort of goes forward a bit instead of upward. It gives me the impression of lack of confidence, insecure, or a depreseed posture?
Along with the arms I already mentioned.
My son has both the hunch and the arm issue. It’s so weird that so many of us observe these similar characteristics with our family members.
I highly doubt any “psychiatric professional” would have a clue as to what we’re even talking about.
That’s the difference between learning about and actually living with a person with this disease.
@Day-by-Day - I was thinking yesterday that there is a wealth of information on this forum. Someone studying sz would be thrilled to find.
Yes, mine too with the neck going forward a bit instead of upward. He had beautiful posture before scz.
Hello, good news, bad news here. It is comforting to see so many others dealing with similar issues, but sad that none offer new possibilities.
My son will be 32 next month. I’m 70 and fixed income. We’re waiting for heating on SSI appeal in 3 months.
After 2nd DUI in 2015, court allowed deferred prosecution if he did outpatient addiction rehab for 28 months. My fiance had me put him out of the house.
Since has followed 4 hospital admissions and him living on the street for months at a time. 1st time I insisted he move. Fiance went along. That lasted 4 months, still no job, so my guy put him out again. This is when the voices and delusions began, big time. I brought him home again when community services housing ran out, and my feller left my home.
That was a year ago this month. His voices have quieted to nothing, but he still asks me 2-3 times a week when I’m going to tell him who I’m working with, where we hold meetings. He’s had multiple counselors, but only 1 psychiatrist who interviewed him for soc.sec. I don’t know of any diagnosis from any of them other than depression.
He takes antipsychotic and depressant,…i guess. Won’t do ROI for me anymore.
He rarely speaks, except to his cat. He has no friends. Hasn’t for years. His siblings live far away, and he won’t speak to them anyway. They all agree "It’s too late now anyway, mom"
I told him he had till the 31 to get a job, or I’ll give him $500and put him out. He’ll either make it, or he won’t.
I don’t know if I can go through with that! I’m just so tired of trying! But I really don’t think he can live independently, or survive on the street.
Thanks for reading.
What happened to the DUI deferment with required rehab? Did he go there for 28 months? I can only assume he didn’t because during that time, certainly counseling and treatment would have produced some validating diagnosis which it sounds like there hasn’t been a confirmed diagnosis.
If no rehab was followed through…I would follow course direction of getting that implemented/put in place. Lots of good could come from treatment. And if that’s not the treatment appropriate, due to finding of a mental illness, then referral could be then conducted.
If I have read your posting wrong, I apologize in advance.
I am searching for potential avenues to find some help/relief for you. Sometimes when we are “smack dab in the middle” its hard to see choices.
I do think that you would be very worried with just pushing him out the door if he doesn’t find a job. I understand your frustrations for sure. How about asking to “agree to let you - help him - help himself”. A visits to a community health center could be another good oprion to start with.
Another confusing part of you post dear is: how can he be on anti psychiotics without having a diagnosis, mental health Dr, or diagnosis to be treating.
This IS a great group and I have seen a lot of support, ideas, shared experiences and comparative information. This MI is by far one of the most unclear and misunderstood illnesses. We all are learning as we go AND from one another.
Glad you are here. You are not alone - we are here, listening, and offering to each other whatever we each have to offer.
So very true. One can only know so much from a book. Living with it is a whole nother story
If you are hoping to get SSI approved, he should not get a job. It would disqualify him from getting benefits. Unless he can do something and get paid “under the table.”
I had replies, but didn’t forward properly. It’s ok. They were too long. Thank you Jann and Nebuddy! This forum is my counselor and reason for hope, puts starch in my resolve! Per his poverty of speech or thought, it is sporadic, and I’d think more connected to his depressive moods. He needs to be in a place that can MAKE him do things, which I’m unable to do.
This is a rough one. I may at some point have to do this as well. My son either has sz or is just abusing drugs we can’t determine. It could be both. He has an upcoming court date for a large speeding ticket. Perhaps he will get outpatient addiction rehab as well. I’ve struggled with his poor behavior for 8 years now and we had my boyfriend (like a husband) move out last week so now it’s just my son and myself. What I was hoping for was some 1:1 time to try to reach him but now he isolates even more. He is a mess. I don’t know even if we’ll be able to get him to court. I’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster this past week- but I am starting to feel like if this is drugs he messed up his life himself and I am not going to let him mess mine up as well.
“but I am starting to feel like if this is drugs he messed up his life himself and I am not going to let him mess mine up as well.”
This is where I am at as well, and go a bit further, even if drugs are not in the equation, when they refuse to get help, with all the support of family and continue to remain in their situation (and everyone’s looks different), how much can a parent take before wanting to move to another country and change your name???
My son has been offered the support of assisting with Dr. Appts, getting and paying for meds for him, taking him food (he lives with my Mother), money, haircuts, clothing, etc etc …He refuses government assistance and wants me to pay for everything (that a weird one because he does not seem to run out of money and has no income, so I somewhat suspect he may be on government assistance but will not tell me). He had his first month of Abilify but won’t tell me if he is taking it…yet calls me every single day to ask me for something. I am at the point now where I tell him - your life could be different but you choose to sit inside by yourself each and every day. (I know this is most likely not his “choice” but he makes several other choices in his life so it is in some way). I will help you 1000% when you will work with me with respect to your meds, drs. appt etc.
7 years and still the same.
(ps.my son’s issues started with overuse of oxy’s and others - to my knowledge he is drug free now)
It is really okay not to try to help a person with severe mental illness. Even though the illness is not their choice or our choice, we have to live lives we can bear.
When your son doesn’t appear in court for the traffic ticket, a warrant will be issued for his arrest. The police can find him at your house since he won’t leave it. If he is there and you can’t take it anymore, for whatever reason, call the police, let them know he has mental illness and request a CIT officer. They will take him because of the warrant.
I hate saying this because I know how bad it go can for people with the police. Fatally bad in some cases, but most police want to do their jobs and not hurt anyone. You could also try to get them to bring someone from a local crisis team.
OR call the crisis team first and let them involve police and these police will know what they are doing and why.
I had to decide every day whether or not to live with very ill family member and for a time, I could not.
We are deciding to be caregivers for very ill adult children; that’s a big deal and no one but us knows whether or not we can do it day in and day out.
Where did he end up living? If my son didn’t live with me he would be on the street. And he is waaaaay to messed up now to do that.
So he had a ticket and didn’t go. Last week we called the cops on him and they said he had a warrant so off he went - with a struggle (took 6 cops to pin him down - hence why they think the drugs). We got him out and now he goes back in a month or so (we have to figure that one out - we have 2 dates) for that ticket (reckless driving and 40 over the limit!) and resisting arrest. We will see what happens then AND if we can’t get him to go I have to call him in as I would be harboring a fugitive. I am not sure if his MI or the drugs came first.
Thankfully we moved the car he was using so he doesn’t have access to it.
I agree - my son can make and even went to AT&T to get a new phone and makes other decisions when he really wants something.
I may actually have to go this route in the future.
Mine too, when it’s something he wants
Family member stayed in back yard for months (after being asked/ told to move out of house). I provided food and clean clothing, warm stuff.
Not the best situation ever, but it worked out.
I’ve thought about putting him in the backyard in a tent. That would be preferable to putting him on the street which is what brought on his big delusional event, that went on for months, and put him in the hospital.
The problem is there is nowhere else for him to go! The hospital gets him stabilized, that’s 24 hours, he can get put in a rehab program of some kind, that’s all outpatient, if he’s trying suicide they can put him in a place, if there’s a bed, for 30 days. He’s not suicidal and he’s not dangerous, yet!