It’s really stressful. My dad is saying that I need to start exercising and eating healthier, that I need to apply every day for jobs until I get one. I want to accomplish all these things, but it stresses me out that it feels like he’s never happy with me. That he can’t accept the possibility that I might end up disabled. I’m turning 25 in a few weeks. The conversation I had with him tonight made me want to cry. He said “I can tell you’re over-eating because you’re depressed.” But I have only been eating a bit more since I was sick for the past week and hardly ate. I wanted to tell him I want off the medication, because I don’t feel motivated on it. But he doesn’t accept that, and said it would be better I took it for the rest of my life, and not risk relapse because he wouldn’t be able to get me hospitalized and back on meds. The laws make it impossible to do so without being violent.
He brings up my mom as a prime example of someone who isn’t getting better. It’s not fair.