I appreciate your question. I have a sister (in her 60s) who constantly rants about how society is getting worse and worse and computers are ruining everything. She believes there is a website posting negative comments and photos about her that has gone viral, and everywhere she goes people stalk her and take her photo. She says sometimes they swarm her and try to force her off the sidewalk into traffic. When she’s not talking about her present woes, she is reliving traumatic memories from childhood or bullying at school or failed relationships, anything that confirms her negative world view and self-loathing. It is just awful to be around her. I wish she showed some of the understanding and empathy that you have for the feelings of others. I wish she had your insight into how ones words and actions affect others.
I’m not suggesting that one should never talk about ones troubles. I think it’s as important to let people know if you’re in emotional pain as it is if you’re in physical pain. That engages our empathy. It’s just when someone like my sister goes on and on and becomes increasingly vitriolic and strident, it kind of wears down the empathy. I have to struggle with my own irritation and annoyance to understand that she is really suffering and possibly needs more medication. She needs my compassion, not scorn.
As to your query, I think let people know in a general way how you’re doing, and then tune into their response to see whether it’s worthwhile going into more depth. Also ask about how they’re doing.
I have to go through a similar process when talking about my sister to friends. I find it’s better if I just answer vaguely if they inquire, and not burden others with details as it just multiplies the negativity. I talk in more detail to friends who also have family members with mental illness, because they go through it too. And of course there is this group. It’s a real refuge for me even if I rarely post or comment. It’s a kindred community that I can turn to any time.
So glad to hear you have some therapy on the way. That can be a real game changer. All best wishes.