Marriser, I’m sorry for your loss and the support that you had. Do try to put yourself on the list even if the house has to go a little. This is the hardest advice I have to follow but getting a break here and there is so critical.
Do find a support group and someone with whom understands. There are more of us out there than you would think. Support one another and I’m glad you found this forum. It is a wonderful support to me. God bless.
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Laskobraha9 Please also put into consideration, your losses. Sounds like the ones caring for your brother he probably out his trust in and it is debilitating got us so called normal/average people so imagine the loss for your brother. My son who has schizoaffective begged me 2 weeks ago to please don’t die till I am 100 or he is lost and be in institution, as I am only one that gets this illness and how to work with it. So very sorry for your loss’s as well. Take care and bless you for stepping up to help your brother as known fact ones that succeed I’d the ones from loving families.
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Marisser, I am fairly new here as well but find this site a breath of relief as I don’t stop researching and no better then reading everyone else’s replies and questions as we all deal with pretty much same. Let me say this though Marisser, the loss of your son’s father is huge too, to your son. Motivation is something we strive in heck my son don’t even want me to get in the way, when I clean his mess in his room? He does it but not on a regular and I am kinda a clean freak but I even let that go to teach him. He now says Mom, kinda tired so I will clean up my clothes later ok and empty water bottles in recycle etc… the most important as hard as it is, is to not show your anger or frustration as to me it sets my son back and brings on issues. We all know and understand it is abilitating to is, I just always remember what it must be like for him. I just always assure my son, I am here, only thing I am having troubles with is marijuana as I know how bad it is, he even says I know Mom, it is good in the moment but not in long run. Also drinking alcohol is intense and so hard it is his escape and is so bad. I know this, I am working on it but can not DEMAND it as we all know it is a process. I just found the way we talk is high on there success. You see my son won’t take meds as had severe allergies to most worst being suicidal when never was suicidal as well as seizures? My son was 3 yrs episode free but just relapsed Sept 5th. I brought him back before and will again as I never give up. When I am not attending to my son, I research, reaearch, research. I watch vids of people living this terrible inhumane illness, foods, vitmins etc. Fish oil is huge Omega 3’s, vitamin B, also lithium oronate over counter just like what doc prescribe but no side effects but can’t get here in Canada also you have to watch as if on medication can’t mix. I also don’t like big pharma as they have no answers and just make concoction of cocktails when they themself don’t know about this Illness. Again, don’t take even vitmin if on meds unless talk to your doctor. Hang in there Momma it is a very trying time and is extremely over whelming we know. But please remember to stay calm, understanding in front of him and stay determined to win. Beat the crap out of these demons. This damn illness.
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Yes, you are right. Any deaths tend to be huge triggers. My son lost his grand father, grand mother, and best friend all in within a few years. I’ve read and discussed this with others who witnessed this trigger. Love is patient, love is kind and unconditional love is the best type we can practice as caregivers BUT we do need to love ourselves also and sometimes first to be able to give the love to our loved ones. It definitely is a balancing act isn’t it? Best to everyone and our families.
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I am brand new to the forum, my 32 year old son was diagnosed with schizophrenia 10 years ago, He has been on clozaril, zyprexa and now Invega tabs, he seems to have less positive symptoms but the negative symptoms are worse. He is a ceramic artist and used to do amazing innovative work. Then the psychosis started and he wasn’t,t able to work on his ceramics at all for many years, there have been horrible times for him and us at first as he would not Take meds, he was angry,destructive,and so ill, He now is stable ,living with us and taking his meds . We are now trying to help him motivate to do something in his day. He has worked a little on ceramics but looses interest quickly, I have made a studio in the basement for both of us to work and hopefully he may get back some motivation. It takes time and so much patience and love to navigate with this illness. Our older son who also had sz passed away last February and we are still reeling from that, I,m so happy to have found this site ,
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My son helps put away dishes if I hand them to him. Throws laundry in washing machine after i have sorted. Assists bed making sometimes. I have to be there working along side. Sometimes he cooks.
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My son just cleaned his room and vacuumed upstairs,he cleaned up the kitchen today too! I,m really great full that he has the motivation to do things without being asked sometimes. He likes for me to be home lately, I work 2-3 days a week and he,s ok alone but he,ll ask me everyday if I,ll be home tomorrow. His dad travels a lot for work so he,s not home week days usually but when he is home he try’s to get our son to join him in whatever he is doing,sometimes our son will more often he doesn’t,t want to. We,re trying to get him to come to a family thanksgiving this year at my sisters about 2 hours away ,he declined saying it would be too much for him. I understand but wish he would give it a try.
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Just know that you are not alone. I too have a schizoaffective son who is now using cocaine and won’t stop. Smokes like a chimney. He does nothing all day except use the drug. I don’t know when he last showered. He will not pick up garbage or clean his room unless I help him. He will not take a bus. The only thing he will do is eat out and once in a blue moon go to the movies. The positive he is given Prolexin (the generic) in an injection every two weeks and he is no longer aggressive like he was before) and seems to be pretty stable when it comes to his mental illness. I pray to God every day to give me strength, patience to continue helping him, but it is getting very difficult and I don’t know how much longer I can take it. This forum has helped me immensely and I thank all of you for writing about how you deal with this terrible illness.
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So sorry for your loss My son also has a hobby/ pt money making job that he does in the garage. Some days he is productive and then other stretches of 4-5 days of doing nothing.
I wish he wouldn’t drink beer or smoke pot at all because I think the mind needs clarity to function better.
He doesn’t agree.
I don’t see him making it on his own at this point and am setting up a special needs trust for his inheritance assuming there is some.
His dad lives elsewhere and is of no help which is convenient for him but not great for our son.
I just do the best I can, pray and read a lot about the issues of mental health.
God bless all who are drawn here for understanding and support !
Terry.
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Terry, we are trying for two household tasks a day with a reward at the end of the week. At this point it is necessary for me to work along side and sometime direct or repeat simple instructions but he is doing a lot more now than when unmedicated.
Together, we stripped and sheeted three beds today, collected trash in the house, unloaded dishwasher and reloaded. He picked up his clothes in the bathroom. I think this is enormous and it really helps me a lot.
He is still delusional but not combative as yet. One day at a time but today was a good day.
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Roseo, is you son still using? Pdoc said that is one drug to avoid. I wish you strength and patience.
Glad to hear your son is doing better. You guys really got a lot done, so nice to have a good day once in a while.
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There are still those days but I’m trying hard to set limits and boundaries. I have the support of the ACT team and we are not alone. It feels good for a change.
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I have a 24 yr old son that was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder a few years ago. He has recently moved back into our home as he wasn’t doing so well on his own. There are days that he is very productive and helps clean, laundry, etc. He has just come out of a manic phase and is very tired. He usually sleeps quite a bit after his cycle. My question is do I let him continue to sleep or make him get up in order to sleep during the night? I don’t want to take the chance of agitating him and then I’m the one stuck to deal with it. Any ideas of how others handle this sort of situation? My husband is adamant that he get up and I’m again stuck in the middle to diffuse the situation.
Sleep is healing.
These illnesses alter sleep cycles.
My opinion was that if there was any real problem that happened because of the sleep cycles or any other symptom, I would intervene. There wasn’t a problem with the sleep changes after family member was able to be quiet enough at night that I could sleep.
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My brother has been spending extended weekends with us. I usually only wake him for medication (I try to keep his doses consistent, within the same hour every day) or if we’re going somewhere.
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Since I took away cash and just give him a certain amount of money on a gift card every three days I believe he has stopped. Only time will tell. I have on occasion given him some cash but it is once in a while only.
I hope I don’t sound crazy but perhaps he does do things but you can’t see in his world. He also may not want to be a part of the world you live and function in. He may be comfortable and feel safe as he is. I know my grandson sometimes comes out of his “man cave” and looks around. He eats, showers, then decides that’s enough and goes back to his world. Some days we get minutes and some days he actually stays out and communicates with us for as long as an hour before returning to his rooms
It might be advisable, if he has a mental health worker, to ask him/her what is the right course of action for your son. It’s possible he’s happy as he is and getting him out might cause some trauma. Just a thought
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My son, 24, had a horrible reaction to a halidol injection that was given to him at the hospital. I advised the staff not to give him that medication as he has had side effects in the past. His delusions were intensified and he was so agitated and angry all week. He finally got some weed and has been calm since. I was secretly relieved because I was exhausted but know I will have to deal with that later on. Guess we will start over next month. I keep reading current and upcoming research and pray for new treatments.
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Is he on meds? Yes it reminds me of old days of trying to monitor or train up a 40 yo middle schooler.
It’s a trip to try and be patient or not say much when I come home from work to a messy house. I pay someone to clean 16 hours a month and am grateful I can do it But a lot of it is due to having a messy adult son.
He gets upset easily and feels like I am being a pia but