Seeking opinions

Well things went ok for a few months, then son got off meds, made bad choices, associated with bad people, and now back in jail on a misdomer charge. I was letting him stay in our vacation home, My sons so call friends were destroying my home. My son was told on numerous occasions not to have overnight guest but he repeatly did and now while he is in jail they have broken in, stole everything and wrecked the house.At that same time my husband suffered stroke like symptoms and it was discovered he has aortic valve stenosis which will gave to addressed with surgery in a couple of years. With 38% ejection fraction prognosis not good. Therefore, I decided to sell vacation home and now my son will have to live on the street. It breaks my heart. I am 3000 miles away and so torn. I did offer him to come live with us but he does not want too. Please share your thoughts.

Thats good news.

He has disrespected you big time, he cant help it and odds are he never will.

If he has a bank account you can give him some cash (electron transfers) when needed if he complies to simple rules, like, do not destroy property or break the law.

If it were me, I would never give him my address.

He can live with his so called friends…

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Thank you. I really need to hear from people who are and have experienced similar situations with their loved one.

I remember telling our daughter once years ago when her illness first began, about 2 years into it that her choices may kill her but they were not going to kill us too. Everyone has a bar. I used to be a Spec Ed Director years ago. Still I felt two steps behind the eight ball. Out daughter is just 38 now. She has severe Bipolar 1. Over 20+ hospitalizations… did get through college at age 32 finished – but could never work. She is sweet and kind. She does have her own place not far from us. Our son was most likely a sociopath. He was a pathological liar. Very talented and was studying opera at Manhattan School of Music… Had studied in Italy. He continued to lie… He then got into drugs.
We told him we could not help him in the shape he was in… not going to classes etc… We tried for six years and then walked away… there were many lies.
We had not seen him for 21 years, estranged for 15 yrs… He died last year from a brain clot. We buried his ashed next to his grandparents. He was a con-man liar to the end and an addict. While very sad we know that we made the right choice. He would not let us help him our daughter would.
Both were adopted… our son a 8 and our daughter as an infant. Mental illness is more prevalent among those who are adopted…
You need peace …
Sue L

But neither of your adopted children had schizophrenia? Forgive me if it’s in another thread.