Good evening forum
Sibling who has been unwell for 25 years.
Now will go through cycles of not speaking to family members and sit in a seat and do nothing( almost like he’s sulking or craving attention) this usually goes on for couple of weeks then will start to chat again.
Very frustrating as it’s almost like he completely ignoring us!
Anyone else have this to deal with.
Regards
Hi @And46 . Welcome back to the site.
I am sorry that your family member is not speaking. That certainly would be frustrating to me. My daughter used to lock herself in her room and not communicate with any of us in the house. I used to get so upset with her.
I realize now that she was just very very busy in her own mind and couldn’t add in the extra effort to talk to anyone of us. Perhaps your sibling is having too many conversations in his head and can’t deal with anything outside of his own head.
You could perhaps just try to do some extra good things for yourself during this stressful time. A good walk, a coloring book, gardening? Even a good cup of tea perhaps. You probably cannot change your sibling’s behavior unfortunately.
Thanks you old lady blue for your reply.
Good luck learning to live with his mental issues and with taking care of yourself.
Yes, quite often, especially when my brother was young. Until I read your question, I didn’t realize that my hurt and frustration over this behavior was one of the reasons I basically abandoned him when I was in my 20s. I took his silence very personally and interpreted it in all sorts of ways.
In his 60s now, he talks a lot and quite freely with me. When he goes silent now, I think, well, he’s enduring or sorting something out, doesn’t want my input, so enjoy the silence.
In a group setting however, he does clam up still sometimes, not just with total strangers.
Thanks for posting. It made me think about my past.
Based on observations in my own son’s journey, primarily before he was on medication, the illness is not necessarily consistent from day to day and what exactly causes it is complicated. I researched catatonic mutism, and selective mutism, among related topics on this site https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/ many years ago. In the absence of certain rare conditions, in my opinion, he probably does need treatment. I would learn all you can about mental illnesses. I’ve seen this condition in another individual, too, who was not my son. It’s not that they CAN’T talk, but there is some disorder of the brain (typically falls under the schizophrenia label) that causes this behavior. It is likely the illness and not that he is intentionally not talking. My son was hospitalized not talking with anyone but he was “caught” twice talking to two pretty nurses! However, even then, I have noticed that the verbal presentation can be somewhat stilted when the person is in such a state. My son has schizophrenia with primarily catatonic symptoms.