Per the delusions & Clozapine, my son has very isolated days, like maybe once every two weeks, where he questions the delusions. It’s either outright, asking my opinion (I’m careful to not give one unless it’s a delusion that makes him feel bad) or watching YouTube videos about false memories, dreams, etc.
Virtually all of his delusions are positive - as in, he’s done something good, he’s met someone famous, he’s had input to something in the world that he likes. And, he made one comment that if none of it was true, he might as well kill himself.
I have very little doubt that bumping up his Clozapine a little would increase the questioning & clarity, but I’m hesitant to do so. At this point, his delusions are the lesser of two evils when I compare it to suicidal depression - he’s been that depressed before, but when he gets that way, he usually lacks the motivation to come up with a plan and the means, let alone carry through with it. However, I’m always aware that could change.
On the other hand, letting him hold onto these thoughts isn’t helping him move forward with his life, if moving forward is something he’ll ever be able to do. I’m OK with things like they are, but I’d be very sad for him if something as little as a few milligrams were the difference between him being 80% better and 100% better.
So, I’m torn. I think since he’s side effect free & seems so much better, the doctor may be content to leave him at 200 mg/day for awhile.
And, a lot of you have said you continued to see small, gradual changes for a long time.
He’s only been on this med about 2 months. He’s much, much improved. I don’t see any big episodes that get shorter like I think Leiann mentioned. It’s been very, very steady, with random days of questioning things, and some days where the delusions are more present than others - but never even close to what they were before.
He’s sleeping well, but not too much. His appetite is good but not crazy. He has gained some weight, but it’s been really hot - I’m thinking about asking him to walk with me at sunset when it’s cooler here now, and gradually increasing it as we go into fall.
He did mention maybe joining a gym, maybe he’d go to barber school, maybe he’d start doing some animations, maybe he’d start working on an invention he tinkers with - so the thoughts are there even if he’s not following through with anything yet.
Any thoughts? If you were in my position would you just be patient for a while longer?
I know a lot of my worries are from all the hospitalizations in the past year, so even the slightest increase in symptoms sets my alarm bells ringing.
I’m leaning towards not saying anything on this months’ appt unless there’s a major change. I’ve got almost 3 weeks to decide. Of course, she could decide to up in on her own & I wouldn’t argue it.