Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Suffering PTSD from my son attacking me


#1

Several years ago before I knew much about schizophrenia my son attacked me after me confronting him about quiting his job and laying around the house. He would have killed me if my wife hadn’t covered me with her own body. My face was battered and broken. He left and came back after being gone for a year. I took him back in hoping that our situation could heal itself. He had a few episodes and we called the police each time. He spent a lot of time in a mental hospital which offered temporary relief. We did all we could to get my son ongoing at home treatment and he agreed. He responded well mentally but not physically so he quit. I waited to see how he would respond and it was not good. We literally became terrified that he might have another bad episode and possibly kill us. I gave him a ultimatum to go back to the doctor or leave the house. He didn’t hesitate and left. He would call frome time to time and we would take to him clothes and money. He tried to come back home and begged for us to let him in but we were too afraid. It was so difficult to call the police and turn him away, but we had to. My PTSD from this is trivial compared to what my son if going through. I certainly have empathy for our servicemen and others that suffer from this. Any sudden noise or shadow sends my anxiety level up tremendously. I no longer sleep well and have nightmares about being attacked. Anytime I step outside I look around for trouble. I no longer trust strangers like I did previously. I feel so hopeless and feel like a complete failure for not resolving our family situation. My wife shares these same thoughts. We have not heard from him for months now. The last time he called was from a different state. I called the police dept. and was told that there is little that they can do. Even if we found him; we are at a loss at what to do because of his lack of cooperation. His paranoia is off the charts. His case workers warned us about his extreme paranoia and delusions and strongly advised us to seek other housing for him. His condition is so extreme that one time he flew back east and broke into a very famous family home thinking that they could save him from the delusions he was having. The court ordered him into a mental institution for two months before he came home because I agreed to take him back not knowing the future consequences. He even went to churches seeking to be exorcized from his demons. I believe that these voices were telling him to harm us and he was trying to fight them. At one time I offered to buy him a house out of state that I could afford or even a apt. , but he refused. He wanted me to buy him a camper van so that he could stay mobile. I refused knowing that he would be a danger to others driving under his mental state. We would gladly care for him the rest of our lives if it wasn’t for the risk of violence. I can’t go through that again and neither can my wife. I read stories throughout the year of violent schizophrenics severly harming or killing family members. Other than the killings; I know that most go unreported fearing repercussions or family embarrassment. We have been successful throughout our lives handling challenges and yet have failed our most precious son. I feel so sad for him and others that suffer from this awful condition. I have little hope for our family being together on earth. I pray that God brings us back together as a family in the afterlife. Only he can do it.


#2

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#3

I’m so sorry. What a tragic story and I also fear I have when I press my son to take meds. I have no doubt that he might flee. I’m struck by how many times I act on fear.
We’ve had a good week despite my son being off meds. By good I mean no outbursts but we know it is a matter of time and we will have to make the same tough and hard decisions parents here have to make.
God bless your family.


#4

No you haven’t. The illness is not curable as of today. Controllable? Well maybe with the right meds and a lot of work, but even then there are no guarantees.

Even with the mentally ill there are boundaries you have to set. Violence is one of them. True they may be tormented by their thoughts, but still they are accountable for choosing violence. You have done all you can to protect yourself and him. You have offered reasonable assistance. In the end, there are no easy answers only the knowledge you love him and have done your very best for him.

You have expressed religious feelings so I will share a scripture that keeps me going: Philippians 4:6-7.
Best wishes.


#5

My daughter was taking overdose of pills and I found her and she was in icu for a few days had to have her blood cleaned by machine.next she tried to jump from a building in our city someone seen her and they where able to talk her down.So I ask if she was a candidate for a community treatment order and she was.I thought that this woud be a saving grace for me but I was wrong.She got into some real problems in an apartment and her boyfriend couldnot get any help.He phoned police who thought she was fine.But she was not .She was suffering from bi-polar and she told me that a man was staying in the building who was not suppose to be there.The girl who pays rent there has been be tricked by this man.I tried to report him to get him out of there but had no one who would listen .My daughter suffers from schziophernia and bi-polar.That animal took advantage of her by telling her he was God and being in that state she believed him.The woman who has the apartment has schzio-affected disorder.and he has been controlling her .My daughter went into a cantonic state when she was sent to hospital she was in for 5 weeks.All of this could have been prevented if someone could of help us.Now she has an assault to deal with


#6

How awful for everyone involved. Are you involved with NAMI. I have heard good support and did attend the family to family classes. Report what evidence you have of this person’s actions. It is quite probable that he is sick as well and thinks he is God.
Does your daughter have a case worker? If so, tell her what is going on and anyone you think might help. Hang in there. You are telling me that no matter what we find for housing for our loved ones with MI, we have to stay connected. Bless you and your family today. I’m heading out for a long walk and will pray.


#7

She is finally well enough to go to the police station to report this animal.He does not appear to be ill he took over this women apartment makes her sleep on the couch along with my daughter he got my daughter to give him all her money from the bank .My daughter has not shown any violence toward me and if she did I believe I would pull back from helping her.You must look after yourself first as well as your family.My daughter is on a community treatment order and i was able to get a signature to check up on her.The police where fooled by her and thought there was nothing wrong with her but as a parent you must go with what you know .Community treatment our still a good way to go .I have just learn that there is a way I can still have a chance to have her accessed if needed


#8

@worried1 - are there special charges that could be brought against him for taking advantage of a disabled person? kind of like stealing money from the elderly falls under some elder abuse laws in some places?

That’s usually as bad as child abuse.

I certainly hope the police help her - and make sure he can’t take advantage of someone else for a long time.


#9

Well, it varies from state to state but in the end “they” will do NOTHING unless you get a knife in the back or beat to death with a baseball bat.

Many years ago my wife (5’10", 150lbs a very formidable woman) called the cops in a delusional state… (most of them know us) Well, two of them showed up, she went out the back door and snuck up behind them and attempted to kill them with her bare hands… lol, I sh*t you not…

All pretty damn funny when I got the call, I did not even bother leaving work. The cop explained what happened. She ended up hog tied in the front yard and arrested. She served one month in a county facility, released when they realized nothing could be done to help her… LOL


#10

My daughter went tp police station made a report she might as well stayed home.She was in mania and this animal told her he was god she believed him.She told me he used her disorder to abuse her took her money The police asked her if she went along with this.Of course she did she has schzio-affective disorder.She was in psychosis.I believe nothing will be done to him.But I told my daughter that she did the right thing because this report should follow him if he tries this on another sick girl