Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Telling my boyfriend


#1

So we’ve been going out a few months now and he doesn’t know although he is aware I go to camhs and has seen some scars/cuts but nothing along the lines of sza. I’m terrified to tell him and don’t know when or how or even how much, I don’t want to blurt it all out and him hate me but if I say nothing he might not understand. It’s also harder as his dad (I’m 16 btw so parents still important) used to work in mental health and I feel like he will judge me or not approve if he knows. Anyone have any experience of this? Or tips on what to say, and how to handle his dad?


#2

If a relationship is meant to be, this won’t affect it. If it does, it wasn’t meant to be. Sounds like I’m over-simplifying, but that’s how things work out in the long run.

Pixel.


#3

years ago, my boyfriend was a mental health professional. I met him in a psych hospital. For quite a long time I kept it secret that I hear voices. I never end let it slip for he 14 months that I spent in the hospital. When we had been dating for quite awhile, I told him. He said he had had suspicions about that. But it DID change our relationship. The thing is, if you are having a relationship based on a lie (that you are mentally well) then your relationship will never be strong and you always risk letting it slip or getting sick and then it becomes apparent… If he is the one meant for you and if he truly loves you, it will not be the end of the relationship.


#4

What are you diagnosed with, @Lovelybones?


#5

@Patrick diagnosed sza with depression and recovered ednos but that was before we went out. He used to have mild anxiety but never diagnosed although he went to camhs for like a month or so.
Just don’t know what to say or how to bring it up


#6

How did it change your relationship, would you be able to elaborate? I completely understand if you don’t want to I know it’s quite a personal question. Also when you say you met him at psych ward how did he not know that you were schizophrenic?


#7

I told my recent girlfriend. I pretty much had to its not something that is easily hidden if you hang out with someone often.
And she ended up telling me about her own struggles with mental health.
It has strengthened us. Now we support eachother


#8

Lots of people have run away fast after I told them. But the one who didn’t run ended up being perfect, and now I’m glad all those others left.


#9

Thanks to everyone for their support i guess I do have to tell him but I just don’t really know how plus what about his dad


#10

If his dad works in mental health, I would guess that would make him more accepting and less judgmental. He knows how broad of a spectrum psychotic disorders can be. As for how, I usually do it fast, like pulling off a band-aid. Just like,

“I have to tell you something. I have schizoaffective disorder. That means I have [list your symptoms here]. Do you have any questions? Are you okay with this?”


#11

The thing is though his dad did then left but he worked with inpatient and stuff like really severe cases so I’m worried hell judge me


#12

Well, this is one of those times when there’s only one way to find out. I thought my fiance would judge me, because his grandmother has a lot of psychosis, and it was hard on him growing up. But he ended up being totally fine with me, because I’m responsible with my illness.