Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

The sadness in my sons eyes breaks my ❤


#1

My son is 31. Diagnosed with sz at age 19. It has been a long road. He’s tried every med out there. The latest one was a shot which he got once a month. It was working! With the exception that he front ended his xanax and perkocet ( by over taking, selling, trading) during the first 2 wks. That was a roller coaster ride.

But then the last 2 weeks he was somewhat normal. Well 2 mths ago he decided he didn’t want to take it anymore bc it was making him fat. Now the sz had kicked in more and dr wanted to admit him to hospital. Which he begged no. Dr said it was hospital shot or try another pill. He opted for the pill.

When we got home he was really crying! Said I don’t understand. Said with the pill or shot its like watching tv in b/w. We can’t see the world like he does. And also taking the shot or pill he’s just walking dead instead of actually being dead! He loses interest in everything.

When he is off the meds he sees demons and thinks he is protecting us from them. But on the meds he knows they’re there but can’t do anything to protect us. The tears and fear on his face were real! And I know he truly believes what he says! I have him a big hug and told him I loved him and came home (which is just right up the hill) and cried myself to sleep!

He has tried to commit suicide several times but swears he won’t do it again. I’m scared! We go back to dr this Thurs. Prayers please! Also my migraines have gotten worse and I’ve lost my job bc of them! We need God’s intervention!!


#2

Sheyelo my son who is 29 now says the same thing about his meds. Says he likes the way he feels and sees the world off of them. In my case he attacked me 4 years ago so I insist he be on meds in order to be around me one on one. My son also swears he would not attack me again. I believe him but I do not believe the illness. Luckily we have gotten him back into therapy again. I hope for both of us that things will get better.


#3

I pray the same for y’all, as well as for me and my son. He really is trying to do what is right for both our sakes. But I’m like you, I don’t trust the disease!! I just can’t imagine what it must be like to walk in their shoes! Today Dr added abilify to his already long list of pills! And they want me to be the one to give them out. In the office he was compliant. Here at home will be a different story. Praying that it goes smoothly for once! So tired of these inner demons that haunt him constantly!! And that lash out at me!!