Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Im madly in love with a sz


#1

Everything was amazing for over three years. He showed no symptoms. We had a wonderful little boy. He worked and I was a stay at home mom. Then one day he quit his job because he’d rather kill himself than go.

A few weeks later he tries to remove an eye because he thought he could gain god powers. He claimed it was his hallucinations but when he was in the hospital I went through his phone. He had googled how to remove an eye. Does one having a sz episode have the ability to do the research?

So came the diagnosis. He needs painkillers or he has hallucinations. I have to work an exhaustive job to pay our bills, including his child support. He steals from me. He wont keep the house tidy and he spends most of his time on this website.

I am completely okay with him having a place to vent but how should I feel about the lies he has told on here? He has told lies to one girl in particular to seemingly try to impress her. I don’t even know how to handle myself anymore. I feel so defeated and alone.

I’m giving all I have and its not enough. It doesn’t matter how I feel. I’m just a normie who couldn’t possibly understand but I try so very hard. I need help too but I have no one.


#2

I have never heard of someone requiring painkillers in order to control hallucinations.


#3

He tells me they keep him calm and prevents him from blacking out and having hallucinations…


#4

@Paperdoll I’m not a doctor but it sounds so familiar- like he would have sz with addiction…addictive personalities (of which there are many in my family) are not above using any kind of drug to self medicate while they are ill…and they have all the explanations for why they are ‘necessary’…it is the combination of the illness/addiction talking…my son is dual diagnosis and when he was about 21 and very ill with voices and hallucinations he would steal from me or anybody to get whatever he could, pills or alcohol, one one occasion he walked to a nearby hospital and told them he had been in a car accident, (total lie) and was given Vicadin in the ER, I did not find out until I found the empty bottle while he was throwing up in the bathroom having taken most of the bottle all at once…when the paramedics came, they asked him if he needed transport…I did not have any guardianship at the time and I am screaming at them “Take him!! he has overdosed! Here is the bottle!!” BUT because he could mumble the word ‘no’ as he lay on the floor the paramedics left–It was shortly after that that I pursued guardianship. about 7 years ago when he stabilized the addictive tendencies subsided dramatically. He sticks with his meds (not that I give him a choice) It is important that the help come from someone with dual diagnosis experience to get the whole picture and the best treatment possible. I don’t envy the position your in but I definitely understand it. PS: I had to make the computer unavailable to my son because of how he behaved with it and the things he would type to people frightened me so now I have a computer that he has no access to. (Might be harder to do that with a spouse/loved one) I found an informative article on the subject of dual diagnosis: http://www.schizophrenia.com/family/dualdiag.html


#5

I understand your struggle. Thank you for the link. I believe that’s what we’re going through. I wish it was an easy task to help them but unfortunately it isn’t. Hang in there friend.