It’s the weekend again and the weekend of the invega shots power at the very bottom of effectiveness. Delusions of grandeur bring hostility from my son. It’s his most delusional topic his house…his card…his money. We have it holding it from him. Surprise it doesn’t exist and this very modest apartment you are destroying is what we have. The cash we spend is our last dollar for the week. He hates me I don’t know anything. Yes I know it’s his illness talking just feel trapped on how to communicate with love now days…cause nothing helps not even silence cause he demands attention of this housing …money ect. Feeling a bit sick because mental health care workers helping has had a lot of turn over and I think mental health patients need stability. Anybody else have family members with the grandeur delusions and how do you respond. Praying for peace to wrap around my family and yours Amen
Oh @Butterflyinthewind1 , I do understand the battle of trying to communicate with love when the loved one who is ill is delusional. My daughter did not have delusions of grandeur, more of persecution. She thought her step dad was sexually abusing her. I just let her call the police, there wasn’t any other way to handle her. They investigated, and her story didn’t make sense, and eventually the investigation was dropped. Horrible days. But you really can’t argue with their delusions, just find ways to deal with them. Perhaps you can tell him to call the credit card company and get a new card? Then it’s the card company telling him he doesn’t have a card and not you.
I used Dr. Amador’s LEAP method as much as possible, on each “hot” subject, one at a time. Mostly the L for listen, and the E for empathize until finally a small agreement could be worked out. Progress is one small step at a time.
Wishing you more peace.
I agree with oldladyblue’s suggestion of trying Dr Amador’s approach. I have found that listening to my daughters delusions and trying to imagine how I would feel if I were living her “reality” and asking how she is FEELING about them is very effective. It is difficult (for me, at least) to not jump in to defend myself during her delusions of mistrust and untrue accusations against me. I am learning that listening, asking questions and acknowledging her feelings help diffuse most situations.
Butterfflyinthevwind1 I just saw your story. It’s interesting because my son lately has mentioned those very 3 things! He picked up a flyer of an expensive house in an area they’re building new ones; in his delusions he asks “heaven, when I’m going to get some of my $380 millions I had in my other life?”, I want a new car! I thought it was funny (of course I did not laugh in front of him, just within myself); great he was not demanding any of that. Since he mentioned the money in his “other life” I just asked him why he thought he had money and when. We’ll, with time he said he was a rich man and that he had left the money to relatives so I said that it was sad that it was in “his” other life, when he came to this earth again he had to start over. In reference to the house he showed me the flyer and I didn’t know what to say but I asked my co-leader of F2F NAMI class and she said “you could have said that it was a pretty house but even yourself can’t afford it”! Some delusions are easy, others are not. Sometimes I asked what I can say in certain statements. My son thinks his father, my husband, sexually molests him and he asks heaven to “expose him”. I suggested to him to call the police. He doesn’t call probably because he knows they’ll take him to the hospital. Communication with them is difficult. One suggestion: try to stay calm, don’t react. If you haven’t taken the F2F NAMI class it’d be helpful. The book ‘I’m Not Sick I Don’t Need Help’ is also a great source of education.
My son was on Abilify injections and we had the same side effects you described, I really doubted the effectiveness of it. The first week he was yelling more, by the third week he was yelling also, he had only a few good days in between. The injection was every 28 days.
It seems it was exacerbating the symptoms.
I hope it has gotten better for you since your post was back in June. I’d love to know the updates.
It’s an ever changing illness yet the same thing over and over at the same time Just learned my son now gets a shot every 3 months instead of once a month. Some how he is doing ok enough. We have a new environment but old at the same time. It’s where he grew up and it soothes him. He gets up in the mornings better is less disruptive at night. He lives in a camper right next to us and it’s given him a little and I mean little independence He still has his delusions they are revolving ones. Money, a big shot, military,different nationalities, not his parents(we kidnapped him, we are his generals, we rescued him, we adopted him, we are bros and sisters) wonder if anyone else experiences this almost like multiple personalities. Haven’t gone to any NAMI classes still. Read some books recently. Still he is compliant. He was really getting to me with his delusions the other day but my husband told me wait pray take a few minutes without response and the emotional part (anger, depressed, accusing) will calm and I listened and my son switched response level to calm. How’s your son?
Hi there. I’m wondering if your son get his shot every three months by his own choice. I see that by what you described your reaction towards your son’s delusions are really assertive, your husband’s understanding of his challenges goes a long way; I really think that is helpful for everyone’s concern to provide him with that little camper, that little independence means so much to him and at the same time he’s close enough to you to be watchful in case he needs something. My son at the moment is waiting for an available bed at the State Hospital to restore him to be fit to stand trial; last year when he was going unmedicated he was overcharged at a convenient gas station, he got upset, was asked to leave and he pounded the door with his hand so he made a crack to it, the cops were called but he had left; days after that he was yelling at an area that’s a low income housing while waiting for a friend and the police took him to jail; he was offered the opportunity to participate in a program to keep him as an outpatient but later he refused the monthly injections and his status eventually changed from outpatient to inpatient because he was not complying with his meds even though he was switched to the oral medication; he’s been waiting there in jail for month and a half now. I hope the waiting isn’t that long; he has the option to change his mind and start taking the meds but the paranoia is in the way, he believes the meds are antipsychotics (which he really needs) and he doesn’t take them though for now they’re antianxiety. I’d gladly pay the fine but I know he needs to get back to his meds. Sometimes I also think he has a split personality, he’s yelling one moment and next he’s so gentle!
Sometimes those delusions are such a puzzle! I’m amazed by the similarities in their thinking.
I thank you for letting me know the updates of your son and asking me about mine. I’m clinging to hope.
My 46 year old son was stable for almost 20 years on haldol and last year began to believe he was not sick and did not need meds. Almost a year later trying to get his help but he keeps refusing help. He’s been in and out of the hospital and jail. He lost he’s housing because he hit people, harassed, kept people up all night banging on doors, yelling and going outside naked. He’s lost his housing g so now he’s homeless and doesn’t understand why because he didn’t do those things someone else did etc. He’s delusional thinking and paranoid is more about other people controlling what’s happening . It’s complicated and difficult to be around. No one will help him because he keeps refusing medication and treatment plans. He was discharged Monday and I don’t know where he is. He’s also in a wheelchair due to one amputated leg. It makes it more difficult to get around. I was his main caregiver and driver for appointments. It’s Impossible to have a rational conversation to make plans with him. Prayers for all families suffering from this awful disease.
I hope you can get him back on his meds. Haldol does come in a long lasting injection - I think for our family members with anosognosia, the long lasting meds are the path.
We started him in the long lasting haldol and he refused to go to the next appointment to get his shot-he has to consent to treatment-although he was discharged from one hospital because he refused treatment and was baked acted and brought to another hospital and did agree to taking the haldol-so they would’nt keep him cause he wasn’t suicidal-so I don’t know where he is today-they made him an appointment with his psychiatrist for next week-I hope he wants to go-
I am so sorry, my son’s psychiatrist had always hoped that if we got one dose into our son that would be the answer. I should know better.
We all just keep hoping and praying for an answer-
Will your son contact you at some point?
He was calling me when he was at the psychiatric hospital-in January he was in jail for a month he didn’t call-he was resisting all help there too-I don’t know when I’ll here from him-so sad
Hi, so sorry about your son. This illness is so sad that it is almost unimaginable. We have all been thru so much with our children with schizophrenia and it feels like never ending horrors that they and of course have to endure. I hope you and your son are doing okay and that you are taking time to care for yourself. This illness takes a LOT out of us parents. My son is 28 now and I never have good news to tell about him. He is so mentally unstable that he is scary , and he is extremely obese and never willing to do anything to help himself, doesn t even shower anymore. I pray for us all and hope your son is doing ok.
Thank you so much-it means so much to know other families are also experiencing the horror’s of schizophrenia. As sad as that is- we are not alone in our suffering-I started attending Alanon to help myself. I am working on taking care of myself and not obsessing about my son-not an easy task- as far as I know he’s back in jail-refused treatment at the mental health hospital-there is nothing anyone can do to help- if he refuses treatment that’s his right-I wish we still had mental hospitals instead of sending people who are ill to jail- I hope you take care of yourself as well and that your son decides to take care of himself-
Thanks so much for your kind response. It is a comfort to know we are not alone in our suffering ans we watch our sons having to endure this horrible, life robbing illness. I attend Nami meetings and a wonderful support group at the senior center near me which helps. My son lives a few blocks from me. I don t know how long that situation will last as he has started stealing from neighbor’s porches. He is very draining to spend any time with as he blames me for his illness and is psychotic so often, saying he was molested and so many other delusions. He started drinking alcohol in past year and has a terrible eating addiction, he had gained at least 150 lbs in last few years. No friends, doesn t drive, I don t see much hope for his future, but I always hope for a miracle. My son sees a psychiatrist that I drive him to every 3 months and he says he takes his meds, but they are not working and he won’t try another med combo. Well, I can go on and on, but hopefully we will both have a peaceful day and not obsess over our sons. We have to not let the illlness completely take over our lives too.
Irene, I can go on and on as well. My son starting doing a lot of weed and mushrooms when he went off his meds. He also caused so much trouble at his apartment with his delusions and paranoia and agitation. Not keeping his clothes on and banging on people’s doors all night. Calling people and leaving horrible word messages. He’s been baker acted, marchment acted and ex parted. His final behavior at his apartment , he became aggressive and physical hurting some people. He’s lived there for 20 years and never a problem till last year. He’s been going downhill for a year. And so arrested. They’ve let him out of jail twice only to end up back in for trespassing. My hands are tied as well as everyone else. The judge could court order meds but i can only hope. I need to call his lawyer to find out if he’s going to his hearing tomorrow. Prayers for you and your son.