Has anyone else had to give their adult sibling an ultimatum? My 48 yo sister refuses to take her meds. She has schizophrenia, bi polar and depression. She lives with our elderly parents until last week when she got physical with my mother and threatened to kill her. This all takes a huge tole on my mental health and I just don’t think I can keep taking her panicked texts, calls and listening to her stories. She is extremely paranoid. She needs help but there’s no rooms in the crisis centres here and the police won’t do anything. They’ve been called at least twice a week for a year.
I’m sorry you are going through this right now I’m also a sibling ,
Is your sister currently homeless then ?
My sibling has been in and out of but mostly in psychosis the last 6 yrs and there were many time my Dad felt in danger .
I understand about sometimes the police can do nothing .
A suggestion would be to find out who the county crisis team is contact them give her back history.
They will be a resource for her and your parents.
If she wants willing to be inpatient
start calling all behavioral units.
There is the option of getting her a case manager through social services if she is willing .
What about your parents are they going to have her back home. If so what resources do they need ?
If you or parents have never attended a Nami.org family support group or family to family course this would be helpful.
An ultimatum I have thought about it many times sure, but have realized for me its more about my own personal boundaries with my sibling and focusing on what’s in my control. Rather then forcing things because that never worked in my case .
And therapy for you if you don’t already . this disease not only affects our loved one but us as well .
Well I came to visit my sister and yeah. That’s about all I’ve got. My family home is a mess. Dishes in the sink, uncovered food in the fridge, the house is dirty and there’s now mice. I’m trying not to be discouraged but it’s awful and my sister is upstairs sleeping like with a blanket over her head like nothing. She stopped taking her meds all together and now I really have no idea how to get her out of this house and into some sort of assisted living facility. I’ve had the crisis unit come out 3 time and they’ve done nothing because she’s not a threat to herself. This really feels like an impossible situation but I’m so trying to have faith. I want to run out of here and never come back. I love my sister but my hands are tied. I can’t get her to go anywhere for treatment, she’s completely stopped taking her meds and now this house is falling apart around her. But she’s eerily calm.
This sounds so familiar,& I’m sorry your going through this right now . It can feel overwhelming of where to even start to try and help?
Is your sibling living alone ? Would she be open to services like if a caregiver was able to come in and help with cleaning /prepare food ?
I found some community service in my brothers area but he’s not open to it at this time.
My father is now in danger of losing his home because of an HOA association , my sibling created a hoarded situation inside and outside the home along with some other damage which my elderly father has done his best to clean and repair multiple times in the 6 yrs. This is my siblings current residence which he wants nothing more then to be able to live there . But may not be able to soon .
He has anosognosia doesn’t understand his actions created this situation . My father no longer even stays at the house with him he stays at a friends.
During this whole time and process there hasn’t been a lasting solution my brother is unmedicated now and trying to make sense of what’s been happening but has no accountability.
For me and my Dad its been a lot of rushing And researching how best to put out the next crisis or fire ,how can we prevent the next one .So far not much has worked .
I do attend Nami which is a big support and counseling trying to learn and remember what’s in my control and what’s not.
I hope in the near future there are better days for us and our siblings💜
Sorry for your difficult situation. If sister was physical and threatening to mother, why did the police not arrest her? Once jailed, she could be evaluated for competency. If not competent, could go to state hospital - could have long wait in jail for hospital bed - don’t know where you live. This is not an ideal scenario. Would be best to get her treatment instead of incarceration. Research and contact whoever may help with the situation - Health and Human Services, Treatment Advocacy Center, SAMHSA, S&PAA, CURESZ.org, Xavier Amador’s LEAP system of communication, etc. Hope this helps you find what you need to get her treated and find peace in all your lives. Take care.
This hapoens every time.my son off his medicine. Then he ends up.eventually being forced to.hospital which he acta like.is dreadful, or jail…to get back.on meds…then blames me…currently he decided to stop meds again…he hadnt aaid a word to me for 1.5 months, and gets more and more angry…and blames me for all…he doesnt even get.put of bed except to smoke outside…refuses to try a thing…
Customers schizophrenic brother just killed his dad last week…was off meds. Have to always be watching…hide belts, wire coat hangers, knives, scissors, guns, starps…just like when they go to mental hospital…
Unfortunately, this happens way too often.