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What do I do? Please help


#1

My brother has two main delusions that he focuses on when he relapses. 1. A possible rape that he suffered. 2. That his first and only girlfriend from when he was a pre-teen is still involved in his life.

I cannot tell you if the first one is real or not because he never pursued a rape kit at the hospital or contacting the police when it was believed to have happen. It only becomes something he focuses on when he isn’t on his meds so that is another reason why I cannot tell if it is real or false. I know to him, it is.

With his ex, they dated when he was 12 or 13. She was his only girlfriend in his life. They are now both in their mod twenties and she has a child. My brother believes full heartedly her child is his. He has even gone to her house out of the blue after not talking for 10 years to accuse her of not allowing him to see his child. I know this to be a delusion. My brother is a virgin and the two of them have never had any sexual contact, not even when they dated. She contacted me quite frightened. I had him committed after that. Well, he has relapsed again. And she is all that is on his mind. I Am afraid for him and her and I do not know what to do. Please help.


#2

I’m sorry you are going through this. It sounds like you may need to commit him again, if possible, though I know that this is easier said than done. Be the safest thing for him and for the old girlfriend he is having delusions about. As far as the rape goes, it could have happened but it just as likely didn’t. Sexual delusions are a common thread through all of our loved ones illness’. But like all of us, unless you are completely sure it didn’t happen, it is hard to ignore. For now, that isn’t the important thing. What is important is their safety. I wish you all the best, and there are lots of us here willing to help where we can.


#3

post deleted, post deleted


#4

Over the past year, my son developed a delusion about a therapist he had - he was seeing her for a month or two as he was getting sicker, and then stopped once it was decided he need a different kind of help.

His delusion included a full relationship, with a child, etc. And, when he couldn’t see her anymore, he made up all kinds of bad things that were happening to her - he’d want to go by her office and just sit outside in the hopes of getting a glimpse of her to make sure she was OK.

I really, really don’t think he would have hurt her or anything, but it was heartbreaking to watch him and listen to him - and he was honestly and quite literally heartbroken over her.

He’s on better meds now. He’ll mention her sometimes, but not in the same way.

Sorry - no advice. I just wanted to let you know he’s not the only one who has that type of delusion. The only thing I can think of is that he may need his meds adjusted if he’s not sick enough to go back to the hospital. That’s all they’ll do anyway.


#5

Maybe you can call his therapist and/or caseworker. Alerting them of what’s going on will make them aware that he needs extra help. Also if he does decide to stalk her you can call the mental health authorities that you’ve warned his mental health people this could happen. They are more likely to help if there is a record of this type of behavior.


#6

This is a really difficult situation and mainly your brother needs to keep away from this woman and her child for their sake, not his. She is frightened.

I would contact his doctor, the mental health crisis team, and/or other authorities to have them walk your brother through a mental health evaluation. Tell them that this situation is the reason he needs help in a timely manner.

The woman with the child could get some kind of no-contact or protective order so that if he does show up, she can just call the police and he will be escorted away.

It’s really not okay what he is doing if he shows up at her home or somewhere he knows she will be and it’s also really not his fault. He needs treatment.


#7

Thank you all. I have contacted his doctor and left a message on her voice mail. She is unable to talk to me, so I left her a detailed message describing his current status and my fears in regards to his past actions because of his delusions. Really hoping she takes charge of this situation as my brother is refusing different meds because he is convinced the ones he is on now are working.


#8

I have had a conversation with my son about 30 minutes ago. I asked him about his delusions and what had helped him. First,it took a few years to get him in regular treatment.
After he stabilized at the hospital,he went into assisted living where he had his own room but had to associate with others,go to regular meetings as well as try to hold a part time job.
He had a few relapses but the times he had them,I recognized the signs and relayed info. to his supporting staff. He was in assisted living for approx.5 years and has lived in his own
apartment for the last 6 years.He always had girlfriends before he became sick but I’m not sure if he really wants one anymore. He doesn’t tell me everything and when we worry
about him i,e.,if he doesn’t call,so far we have been in contact every day for years.He works part time and he uses earphones constantly. He says he likes his music which keeps him
on a level course. All i can tell you,is try buying your son a pair of earphones and a Walkman or MP3 or 4,let him play music that he prefers and see what happens. It works for my son so
give it a try. Also his mental health nurse or advocate have set up job appointments for him,helped him with resumes and in general have been great to him. Without help from mental health
workers we would not have been able to get him as far as he has come. Occupying his time with work,talk,music,exercise ( walking ), and regular visit to his doctors and mental health workers
has worked. Believe me,we never thought he would get better. Also,my son loved to read,which he doesn’t do much now.We are starting to go fishing this coming weekend in the local salmon creeks and rivers.
Earphones,music,reading,and fishing.Give them a try and Good Luck. May your lives be full and happy.
I hope i didn’t ramble on too long ?


#9

My son became extremely fixated on his first girlfriend from middle school after he experienced his first break- to the point that she and her sister blocked him on FB. Time has passed and I think his fixation with her has subsided. However, it took some pretty harsh words from her which I’m sure hurt very much but sadly, I think for our loved ones, those harsh words happen more often than we realize.


#10

Thank you so much for your suggestion. I just ordered a Walkman with ear phones and MP3. I’ll keep you posted but I bet it helps.


#11

I hope it works. It really helped my son and is still working.If I come up with anything else that might help,i will let you know.
Thank you.


#12

Yes, very similar situation with my son. Their courage is astounding. Isn’t it?