It has taken a lot of time but for the last couple years my 25 year old is med compliant. I believe had he not been so resistant to take meds at the beginning he would be better off. However, moving forward, he takes clozapine ( along with lithium, Lamotragine and cogentin). He takes the meds cuz he knows it will keep him out of the hospital. My son will not do anything on his own. He relies on me or my bf to go bowling or golfing or for a walk etc. He will go, just not without us. His doctor seems to think he could function in his delusional thoughts, however I am not so convinced. He is going to take an online course this summer just to see where he is at cognitively. Currently he sits all day waiting for me to come home from work. He talks and laughs to himself. The busier we keep him, the delusions/ hallucinations seem lessā¦ but he has to be engaged by us. I feel like I need a full time sitter. When left alone, he goes immediately into his own reality. It is so sad. I try to stay positive that given time his thoughts will become more organized and the delusions: hallucinations will lessen. Some days I am stronger than others,
Wow bridecomet
I feel like u took the words out my mouth
My son lives like I canāt even describe shocking
I clean up then its just the same a few minutes later
My son was diagnosed in his second year of college. This ended his life as he knew it.
He gets a fluphenazine (prolexin) shot every three weeks. He will not take oral meds. He smokes cigarettes every second of the day.
He is dual diagnosis - he has a hard time staying away from pot. He will not do anything except eat, sleep, listen to music and smoke and will take a walk from time to time. No friends, no pastimes.
Has anger issues from time to time. Will not take a bus and cannot drive because
his license was taken away for speeding.
He talks and listens when he wants to. Will not listen to advice. He will not go anywhere on his own (except walks). Talks to himself.
I am tired of not having a life being a caregiver for someone with a mental illness is
a full time job. Hard to take time out to do the things you want to do.
Watching my son disappear from my life.
It changes over time. Currently it is the answer ānoā to most questions. When itās something like: Do you need toilet paper? And he answers no when he does, it makes me question why.
I think the voices may be directing his life to this degree but not sure. It could also be he just does not know and itās easier to say no.
I stopped asking this question to essentials in life and just get them for him.
My sister drinking again as of yesterday after 6 months of just psychosis
What are ways youāve found to help combat the uncertainty? Iāve found a lot of it requires a surrender to the fact that it will always be that way. My mom always went on and off meds and it was just part of the cycle. I think acceptance is helpful but only to a point. Do you agree?
Hi Diane. Iām glad youāre here. Itās really tough finding hope in a situation that seems hopeless. I have struggled too with being a caregiver for my mom who has suffered from SZ for 55 years. She has talked about suicide often, mostly during psychosis. Iām so sorry your son is struggling and feeling hopeless. I remind my mom that she is here for a purpose and that her life matters. I think validating my mom and saying yep this sucks also helps her.
Iām sorry you lost your father to suicide. I canāt imagine that pain. And Iām sure there is a real fear there it will happen again. Whatever ways you can find to cope, please be kind to yourself and support yourself so you can be there for your son. I also like the serenity prayer because it reminds me that I donāt have control over much. But also try to give myself permission to have bad days too. You are not alone in your feelings. This forum has a great group of people ready to share their struggles and breakthroughs with you. Hugs.
That must be so frustrating. Does he have moments of clarity with you at all? My mom used to go in and out like a TV set. Some days she would be clearer than other days. Itās hard to want to communicate with someone that isnāt able to. Thatās tough.
Thatās tough when youāre trying to take care of your daughter and her boyfriend at the same time. That must be a challenge. I can see why you need to be on your toes.
My heart goes out to you. I understand everything behind being a caregiver, the amount of time and energy is life zapping.
How long has your son been diagnosed? Iām sorry you feel heās disappearing from you. Is he getting help?
Itās hard when you want connection and the are unable to give it. Instead of asking him, now you just do it. I hope and pray youāre able to connect with him still, even in small ways. Sometimes my mom just does not want to talk to me. Sheāll close her eyes and chant and Iāll say, ādo you want me to leave?ā and sheāll say no. But then there is no coherent conversation. Iāll try to hold her hand or give her some sort of physical touch. If sheās doing well she wonāt dig her nails in.
So sorry sheās drinking again.
I can relate to that too , i couldnāt face his apartment this time round , so disgusting , i hired a cleaner for the first time and thank gd this time round my son agreed .
I heard Clozapine suppose to be one of the good meds that work when everything fails, try keep positive and appreciate the good days , one day at a time , its great you keep him busy , i try to keep my son busy with paintings . He has talent and paints well , i pay him for it instead of pocket money . It makes him feel good and appreciated and i want him to learn he needs to work and make an effort to make money . I Bribe him with money to do chores too .
I think your right acceptance is key- also trying to be even and working towards separation- not tying my mood to my qualifiers behavior.
Sad that my husband has no insight and refuses to take meds. I tried to press charges to force medication but that is not going to work. Feeling absolutely hopeless and that there is nothing else I can do. I have tried bribing and that hasnāt worked. I hate this illness.
@Hummingbird I hope you find something that will work for your son. Hopefully the right medicine can be found to help with his psychosis.
If Iām honest with myself, the hardest issue for me right now is my own self care. I know Iāve been becoming depressive, exhaustedā¦ not seeking out therapy in quarantine and social distancing. Losing motivation and becoming sedentary. Soā¦ what Iāve been trying to do instead of Netflix from my bed in my pajama pants all day and try to bite my tongue when my MI partner only wants to watch the news and the United States Commander In Chief give updates (I think I may have bit it clean offā¦) Iāve been planting all the seeds and bulbs in the small area out back that I could get my hands on since February and watching them sprout and putting in more and watching them sprout and watering and planting more and watching them sproutā¦ Then I decided to splurge and by a bicycle. Iāve never owned a bicycle. Iāve always loved walking. Would rather walk a few milesā¦ but then I realized (after years of arguing with my MI partner who has an athletic history and has been an avid cyclist) that it all came down to Iād never actually had the opportunity to ride a bike that was specifically fit for my sizeā¦ so I bought one! Itās the big excitement in my life right now and Iām VERY excited and somehow it makes me sad too that this is the excitement in life todayā¦ I also started finding some nice moments of simple peace bird-watching from my little sprouting piece of greeness out back. Iāve never been a bird person, never, and still see absolutely no reason whatsoever to have or keep them inside a house. But Iām starting to see the variety and watch them build nests and the colors are fantastic and (dare I say it??) I think some of them have personalities! I think Iām starting to get it. Bird people. Iām starting to get it! (laugh!) Iām a little bit of a wreck when I have to go out for supplies as I watch people and even law enforcement not practicing ANY kind of safety for transmission and people thinking and acting like itās just not a real thing. 130 people yesterday in my tiny piece of the worldā¦ and itās ānot a thing!ā?! āWeāre getting on track!ā In my mind, itās been as many people dead, every, single, day, as if a jetliner crashed and killed everybody. Every. Single. Day. For two-three monthsā¦
Soā¦! I pulled out the old Yahtzee the other day, the deck of cardsā¦ asked my partner if he wanted to play a game, like we used to do a lot back in the day (the focus helps him). I decided to grill some hamburgers on the burner-top cast iron grill, watch an historic launch get scrubbed, and enjoy a nice bottle of cheap Argentinian red I found for $5ā¦ It was delicious!
Iām feeling like there is something huge looming over our collective heads that weāre just not quite grasping and not preparing properly for and ignoring ā¦ and I feel like Iām personally failing to hold it together on my end and do my part at home in my own life. Sigh. Guess Iāll try again tomorrow!
Sorry~ not sure if thatās what the topic question was but if you read it, thanks guys for being here!
On communication: Iāve actually suggested to my partner a number of times he might consider a course in basic oral communications. (Assuming the instructor had some interest in what they are doing). It teaches reading subtle social queues, how to open dialogue and how to keep on topic and flow in conversation, how to listen, when itās your turn, and how to come to points. My other suggestion was sensitivity training but that would imply we can teach empathy to the empathetically disabledā¦