This was inspired by @daydreamer
People on the outside looking in fall in to a few categories:
The Ignorant and the Ugly:
These are the ones who bought in the stereotypes. These people tell me they think my brother is controlling, manipulative and lazy. They tell me he’s moody and dramatic and doesn’t make sense half the time.
I hardly know these people so I tell them nothing of my brother because those on the outside, who think like that, are not worth my time.
The Misguided and Curious:
These people fish and guess what is different about my brother. They have read just enough books to know something is up. But they aren’t sure what. So I get odd tips and hints that will only make things worse if I act upon them. They want to “figure out” my brother. I shoo them away. If they want to observe what they consider odd behaviour, watch a reality T.V. show.
The Friends who try:
These people have been with me enough to know what is up with my brother, and they try to understand, but don’t always. They suggest stuff in a kind and well-meaning way, but it just isn’t something that is going to work. But I value them because they are willing to listen and learn. They are willing to ignore stupid movies and fear mongering news. They try to learn and they DO treat my brother with the respect he deserves.
What I think:
I think I want to help my brother manage and be able to navigate this world on a functional level. I’m not asking him to be NORMAL, since no one seems to know exactly what normal is. I like his personality. I like his humor and his wit. I like him the way he is.
Then Why do I want my brother to be functional or “normal” so to speak?
Because I want him to have the confidence to do what he wants when he wants.
I want him to be independent because he’s proud of the progress he’s made.
I don’t expect him to be like everyone else. Everyone else is boring. But I want him to be able to make it through his day the way he wants and be able to get what he needs to make that happen.
I want him to be functional enough to have doors of opportunity open for him instead of shut.
I don’t care if his word salad kicks in. But he does; so I want that to go away. I don’t care when he gets stuck on doing the laundry. But he does; so I want him to get better at it.
I don’t care if he has a glitch in public. But he does, so I want him to get better at coping and getting more confident.
I want him to be able to do what he needs to do and to be proud of himself for all he has achieved.
I very much want him to be treated with the respect he deserves.
That’s what I think