What's going on inside my sons mind?

The last 2 days have been tough. I see my son tear up and wiping his eyes several times throughout the day. when I ask what’s wrong he will say “nothing I am fine” and act like nothing is wrong. It is horrible and very clear something is wrong. I am scared he is thinking suicidal thoughts(attempted 2x in Dec and was in hospital for about 17 days). He is like a clam and will not open up. He is such a nice young man never mean to anyone. How can I get him to talk? Will his depression every go away? What helps you when you have sz and suicidal thoughts?

I have had suicidal thoughts with my schizophrenia. When I had those thoughts they were the only thoughts I had. It was as if there wasn’t room to think about anything other than my own death. And it was scary. I would actually see my corpse.

I would think about what I want done with all my stuff when I die. How I could try to explain it to my family. It was awful. There was no conceivable way I could explain my death to my family and decided that there would be no use leaving a note.

It passed though. It’s important to know that it passed and will for your son too. But it’s important for him to talk a little about it. Does he have a psychiatrist, psychologist, counsellor, or GP he can speak to? Check by calling any psychiatrist in your area whether there is a mental health crisis line. They may be able to organise for a crisis team to visit, even a mental health nurse, and your son might feel ok talking to them.

One thing I should say is this; I couldn’t talk to my mum about it. I was so terrified by the thoughts myself I didn’t want to scare her so I clammed up. It is really important your son has doctors to talk to.

I really hope your son is ok.

thank you both for responding and it all helps. My son doesn’t want to see a psychiatrist, or counsellor. Do you know why or what would bring this feel of suicide on? The only thing my son said was that he feels weird and he can’t explain it. He doesn’t really go for walks but does watch Tosh(which I cant always watch) he also likes to watch the same movies over and over like Apocalypse Now but won’t tell me why…said something about a diamond in his brain. Hoping tomorrow will be a better day. We have plans to go the The Witch. if he’s still up to it.

Not sure a supernatural horror movie would be a good idea, but that’s just my personal opinion.

And if he doesn’t already have some sort of psych professional, that is not good.

I agree totally with you turnip. IBefore he got sick he loved all kinds of movies including horror. He doesn’t like to watch movies that make him more paranoid which according to him are movies like maze runner, cabin in the woods, or any movie that relate to tracking devices…etc He is very specific.

If your son is experiencing psychosis or showing signs that he might psychotic and/or suicidal, then you need to take him to see a psychiatrist or therapist. Like if it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t want to go. He is 17 years old, a minor, and if he shows signs of psychosis, it is your duty as a parent to take him to see a professional. You can try various things first, like asking him to do it for you. If he really is very sweet natured, then he’ll probably go if he knows it would make you feel better. But if push comes to shove, you have to make it mandatory that he goes. I cannot even fully express how much bitter resentment I still hold towards my mother who never once tried to get me help when I was blatantly psychotic, even allowing me to leave the house in a craze and wander around the city alone in the middle of the night, completely out of my mind. Does that sound like love to you? Don’t be worried about stepping on his toes or being “too controlling” or whatever else might be holding you back. With most things in life, those are legit worries. But when it comes to psychosis, you have got to step up.

EDIT: Somehow I read that post wrong and thought it said he was 17. Sorry I’m not communicating well today. But hopefully the point I am trying to get across is there.

It’s been awhile since I did research however I seem to recall there is a considerably higher risk of suicide during the first 10 years of diagnosis. I do not mean to be worrisome however I would highly advise, as turnip suggested, that your son get professional help. It is very difficult to talk about what goes on in the mind of a schizophrenic. During the first years after diagnosis, people with schizophrenia have a hard time accepting many things that seem so real are hallucinations or delusions. Maybe you could try asking your son if he has a bit of time to talk, then listen very carefully and ask about how he has been feeling. Try to be strong and don’t immediately tell him he needs help like it is an emergency. Instead listen closely, let him know you care about him and that you do not want to be judgemental. Try to be strong, from your post it appears your son may be going through depression.

Hello Turnip. My son does take meds everyday I make sure of that. He does see his doc once a month but no therapy (will not go yet and the doctor told me it will take time and not to push him). He has a hard time being around people sometimes. I have been very supportive and will never give up. I visited him everyday and twice on weekends while he was in the hospital. His depression comes and goes. Good and bad days. You can check out some of my other posts if you’d like. I actually read the one I think you posted “anyone experienced getting dumber?” and I thought wow that sounds a lot like my son. Anyway I will bend over backwards for him. I love him. I am trying my best. I start NAMI meetings in March and I cant wait. I read all the time to learn more about sz and depression and I ordered 3 books(to start) and I watched a few movies based on sz. Thanks for responding it helps me have a better understanding on how he is feeling and why… sorry for rambling goodnight

No worries, sorry if that came off more attack-ish than I meant it. I read the part where you said “My son doesn’t want to see a psychiatrist, or counsellor,” and I took that to mean he doesn’t currently have either (no psychiatrist or counselor/therapist) and that was alarm bells to me.

I relapsed in 1989 and I had to be hospitalized several times. I stayed out of the hospital until just three months ago. That’s 25 years without a relapse or being hospitalized. I relapsed because of the stress of my mom passing away, losing my housing, and having to drop out of college, all in the space of a week. My first day inside the hospital, I got up early for breakfast. I was sitting in an old beat up chair inside the ward eating my little pathetic bowl of oatmeal and my cold eggs and the tears just starting pouring down… It’s just a damn depressing disease and it would be abnormal if someone who suffers from it did not get depressed every now and then.

It’s ok. I didn’t take it as an attack. I just wanted you to know that I am trying my best. To make a long story short(cuz I need to get to sleep) My Dad had sz and committed suicide and my brother currently has sz and has always refused treatment of any kind because he really believes there is nothing wrong with him and it’s everyone else. I never thought my son would get it. My heart goes out to all who suffer. Good night :sleeping: talk soon or type soon lol

Talking from my own experiences, it can be hard to tell for others what’s going on when I won’t disclose much. Looking back at some of my own episodes with SZ, what’s going on when not saying much may be either a whole lot of terror, or, really, nothing at all.

While on meds, I don’t experience psychotic symptoms, so then it is typically the latter. I will have silent episodes. People will ask me what’s on my mind, somehow people have grown to perceive of me as a ‘thinker’, and have the idea that when I’m not saying much I must be having very ‘deep’ thoughts on some issue. The truth is, all too often, I don’t think at all at such times. Just sheer nothing. Maybe that’s medication, maybe it’s just me, but some people close to me had found this hard to grasp, that one can think nothing at all. My guess is, that if your son looks otherwise depressed, it may just be like this.

I also have a history of being way out there in psychosis and delusional thinking, while not showing any of it to others. No one could tell I was psychotic for 8 months. Not trying to scare you, but it is possible that one goes through psychosis without letting it be noticed - delusions may involve themes that make for a patient not wanting to show unusual behavior. But as said, my layman guess would be that if he looks otherwise depressed, it may very well be the former option of just not too much going on inside his mind at all.

I tear up every day too. Sometimes a lot. Sometimes a little. I’m not psychotic. I’m not depressed. People with schizophrenia have extra sensitivity to their inner and outer experiences.

maybe ask for psychiatrist to prescribe him antidepressant.

She wanted to start him on an antidepressant along with the Abilify but he doesn’t want to take anything else. He hates taking what he takes now. I am going to call her today and ask her what she thinks I should do for him. I will not leave him alone at this time.

Ahh that’s sad for you too. My son is very sensitive too. We are all very careful with what we say and how we say it just for that reason. He is hard on himself. It’s hard to see him so sad and feel helpless. He should be having the time of his life. But it almost as if his life is being taken away from him.


the depression will life…it just takes time and pateience…let him relax and watch the tv…don’t pressurise him.

as regards sz, there are many meds out there that can help. .

Are you doing the Family to Family with NAMI?

@Minnii mentioned in another thread that what worked to get her to go see docs when she wasn’t willing was to bribe her with some material good.

I, myself, spread this info to my friend, whose brother is sz but unmedicated and keeps avoiding treatment. She then went to her brother, who kept asking for cigarettes, that she wouldn’t give him another cigarette until he went to the dept of behavioral health to see a clinician (as per what I told her). He said “okay, when” and she said yesterday…

well, she didn’t wake up before work so she didn’t take him, but the important thing is that she got him willing to go just on the promise of a cigarette.

It’s unorthodox, I know, but if there’s any alternative to a 5150 police call, I’d do that first. What things does he covet?

@Holly67 the first NAMI meeting is March 3rd but I am not sure that if it’s family to family for some reason I don’t think it is. I will have to look back through my email and get back to you. I want to go to all of the meetings I can and hopefully my son (without pressuring him) will decide to go too. I might try to bribe him…lol