Thank you for your support. I hope your journey with your son gets brighter every year.
I was able to get a break Friday night and Saturday. Went horseback riding which is the best stress reliever for me! They listen so well!!
When i read your texts here, it sounds to me that your in laws have no idea what they are facing. Assuming what the brother does have SZ, his parents’ denial is making things so much worse. They need to at least find some literature on the subject and get some-what educated on this difficult issue.
If one is suffering from phsycosis, large family gathering, for example, are always a triger. I have never seen psychotic pations getting better during or after such gatherings, only worse! (I am not a doctor, i just have 3 close family members suffering from sz, including my mom, brother and daughter)
Furthermore, where your in-laws can only GUES that this or that would be supposedly good for him, but for each of such “guesses” there are probably plenty educated studies and answers in appropriate literature and they need to educate themselves rather than continue taking guesses.
However, if they have made a choice to play doctors and keep guessing what’s best for him and forcing their unprofessional opinions on to you, then all you can do is just stand your ground.
It´s a delicate situation. Which the grandparents as caregivers know only too well. And have probably learned to distinguish between the CHRONIC mental illness and the human being suffering on a far deeper level than you could ever imagine. Without feeling rejected by his/her loved ones and society in general. Threats only turn to violence when triggered.
I am also a caregiver and have an active member of an association for seriously mental illnesses. Each person is different and bounderies are sometimes necessary.
An example: I was invited to a family wedding on the condition I did not bring my partner…just in case
The solution was simple. If O is in a psychotic state I would never allow let him come to the Wedding. And risk spoiling the happiest day of your life. However, either both of us are invited or I we make alternative arrangements.
It is natural for you to be protective of your children, in the same way the parents of the sick man are being protective of their son. Guilt is unnecessary. Sincerity is the key word.