Hi, I am new here. My son came back home on Tuesday and wears his winter coat when its 28 degrees outside, regardless of the sweating. He is on Clozapine. I guess I have to let him be and not nag. It just worries me
Hi @Tricia4 . My daughter wears heavy clothing in hot weather also. Really, I wouldn’t worry about it. There probably is no way for you to change it.
Thank you very much for your reply @oldladyblue. This is some comfort to know. Also, a bit relieved not to feel so alone and sharing with Mums and Dads who care about their so loved children
My son does the same thing. Not heavy coats but long sleeves and sweatshirts. I have to remind myself to pick my battles
Hey @Tricia4 your post took me back some years ago to being in the caribbean. As you can imagine it was hot and my son was in his winter coat most of the time. Must have seemed strange to other people, but at the time i felt it was the least of my worries Tried to make a joke of it but that didnt go down well ! Just had to leave him be.
My son does the same… If I push a little… 2 or 3 times he will remove it.
He also likes to ties knots… shoelaces have 20 knots in them.
Feeling your pains! My son wears shorts in the heat but cannot keep them up!!! He’s constantly got a pocket out, hanging his a** out, dragging a shoestring. His shirts often stained and never actually put on and straightened.
Always a battle to keep him showering routinely and using deodorant.
Just a walking hot mess. ‘Dad, I just don’t care’…. I know son, but we care and while you live with us we need you to do the absolute bare minimum to stay reasonably clean and your parts mostly covered….
Thank you so much for your share Penelope. Gives me peace of mind
My daughter is on clozapine and always dresses too warmly for the weather. I wonder if it’s a side effect? I’ve never investigated it.
My son was on another medication before, he would still wear inappropriately for the seasons, even 3/4 years before being diagnosed. Is your daughter feeling lethargic and lacking motivation. Also, always hungry?
I’ve got personal issues with clothing’s as well. In the winter I wear winter jacket and in the summer I wear T-shirt and summer West. The only clothing I don’t change is my winter jeans even in summer. The reason for this strange behavior is that I carry my keys in my jeans and I’m scared of loosing them if I wear summer travses
Thanks for reminding us that there are often good reasons behind behaviors that may confuse us.
Recently, I realized my son leaves cupboard and closet doors open intentionally. He keeps his utility closet door wide open at all times after asking me if I could find his vacuum cleaner for him. The vacuum cleaner was in the utility closet with the door closed. I do know that there are times when he cannot visually perceive things correctly. I don’t know if this is the problem, but, the door is basically the same color as the wall.
hi @Tricia4 welcome to the forum… how long has your son been on the clozapine? I ask because, while clozapine is (in my opinion) a miraculous medication that has given my own son back his sanity, it does work very slowly, slowly but steadily as long as it is taken religiously.
My son use to wear boots and his winter coat in the middle of summer as well and even would often be found sleeping in his closet even though he had his bed right there. There is no rhyme or reason to this illness, but I suspected on some level it was my son’s way of feeling more secure. I don’t know.
Today he sleeps in his bed nightly and still has an attachment to his coat but only in temps below 60 degrees, which is socially acceptable lol. He still insists on sleeping in street clothes, I will never understand that. He also refuses to wear slippers around the house or go without socks except for bathing and he does change them daily (that took a couple years to make happen)
I am rambling here because your post really triggered memories in me. I would advise from my own experiences to not give up on changing unwanted behaviors in your son, just gently and consistently say what you would like to see him do in the future, maybe add a simple reason why you feel that way and let it be, then maybe a few days later repeat, calm and just once each time and if he responds negatively as my son often did I just say to him, “I hear you, and I’m sorry you feel that way.” Then I change the subject.
What happened with my son was after a very very long time of doing this repeated suggestion my son pops up one day and says "I am changing my socks everyday now because I don’t want to get athlete’s foot. He said it like he had just thought of it and I just said great idea…and moved on. His changes always happen like that, but so so slowly.
Anyway, thanks for letting me share with you and I wish you the best with your son. I am quite hopeful for a good outcome knowing he is on the clozapine. Take care.
Thank you so much Catherine for your reply and reassurance.
My son started Clozapine (400mg/day) 3 months ago and is being monitored weekly with blood tests.
Yes, I understand that it is about patience, love, care and being present. Gentle suggestions and letting it be.
I am relieved that he is back home and glad that I have found this forum as understanding the illness through others who have experienced it directly or indirectly is so important.
This support is strengthening my hope as I realise it may be a lifetime journey.
Yes, @Catherine my daughter does the same thing. She sleeps in sweatpants or leggings and a shirt after wearing them all day if she doesn’t have to work. Sometimes she wears them for 2 days straight, but then usually changes. I don’t push it unless we are going out somewhere.
@hope, my daughter’s closet door is never closed anymore.
A quick survey shows most of my closet doors are open as well. In my case it’s probably related to a mental strategy/condition called aphantasia— a reduced or absent ability to visualize. It’s as if I can’t see or feel something it doesn’t exist or I have poor memory for its location. From what I understand it’s a bit of a spectrum, but if asked to close my eyes and visualize something I can’t. I always thought people talking about their “mind’s eye” were using it as a metaphor. I have a very active inner narrative and auditory imagination however, so I instead come up with narratives about what something looks like. I have great difficulty spelling out loud, as I have to write things down or draw pictures to visualize them. It’s especially hampered me in learning “blocking” (stage movements) and choreography when acting, yet I’m quite good at remembering dialogue and lyrics and tunes once I hear them.
Compensating for this pervades my life. I’ll keep opening browser windows or apps until my phone or computer starts creaking, I’ll fill a desktop or workspace until things start falling off the desk or I can’t find something. Over the years I’ve learned to group like objects together so I can find things, but it always frustrates me when people tidy-up or hide things. My house is filled with open shelves, baskets, transparent doors, bins and drawer fronts etc.
What a wonderful and precise description of what you feel and go through. Thank you
You’re very welcome, 3 months is a short time, the biggest breakthroughs my son experienced was right around the 6-month mark and even more by the 1-year anniversary. I still see small things even 10+ years later. You sound like a wonderful, loving and dedicated mom and your son is fortunate to have you. Happy 4th!
This is giving me so much hope. Thank you
Thanks for that description of how you keep track of things. It’s really helpful and makes a lot of sense.