I am so happy I found this group, I see a lot of families in similar situations as mine. I am truly sorry for everyone. I have been through so much with my son. His symptoms began when he was 23. He is now 28 and his illness is getting worse. My son has had episodes of phychosis, delusions and paranoia. I have had the police knocking on my door they know him by name and of course his complaints , he calls them is all a conspiracy and people trying to kill us. I been asked by the manager of my complex to move if he continues to live with me, according to the apartment manager people are afraid of him. My son is not violent, he goes out to smoke and comes back in. I am buying a home but not till November. So I have to try everything in my power to keep my son inside. When he is having phychosis and delusions, I am a wreck. Is non stop with him pacing and talking to himself or telling me we are going to get kill by the people upstairs or a van, it varies from place to place, where the people are. He is in total denial about excepting he has schizophrenia, so he refuses to take his medication. I have to have tough love with him , he lives under my roof and he either takes the medication or go lives someplace else is what I told him. The medication helps with the phychosis and delusions. He still is paranoid but I ll deal with paranoia anytime, then the insanity of phychosis and delusions. He is on Haldol, Zyprexa and Respidone did not do much. I try to stay strong for him and myself, but when he gets real bad I can’t help but cry, I am embarrassed, I don’t have a life. I can’t work , someone has to be with him, because he thinks someone is coming into our apartment and stealing all his things, clothes and medications. I bought a home camera to see if it made him feel better, but of course is one thing after another. I go food shopping and I have to go get what I need and run back home. I am afraid to leave him alone. I am afraid of what could happen when I am out. I then see him sleeping and all I can think is the monster taking over my son"s brain. I get so angry , I wish it would be me and not him, he is so young and have no quality of life. He sleeps in the living room because he has to watch for the door that no one comes in. The medications either work and he sleeps most of the time. He has no motivation, so he asked the doctor for adderall and the doctor gave him a prescription, it’s a stimulant " PLEASE BE CAREFUL IF YOUR CHILD EVER TAKES ANY STIMULANTS ". My son likes the medication because it keeps him alert and he is up and about. But any stimulants made his phychosis and delusions escalate. I am alone with my son. I have two other sons they try to help but they work and have families and it’s hard for them to help everyday. His dad is a loser, he lives his life without asking how is my son. He goes away on trips and has no responsibility. I am sorry I am venting on here. I live in Florida and I have to be tough here with the doctor’s office we just don’t have much power over our loved ones when it comes to doctors or hospitals. Support groups is 1 Thursday out of the month and I feel that’s not enough. Anyway sorry again for my rant.
Hi Lily1. Never apologize for ranting, as that’s what this forum is for. It’s also for learning and grieving with others.
I’m so sorry about your son. Severe paranoia is a terrible thing. It still controls my son’s life too, even while on a heavy dose of AP medication. He’s constantly in fear of his safety too. It’s an awful way to live.
I’m shocked that the doctor prescribed Adderall. How could he not know that this would make symptoms way worse? This is pretty common knowledge, as is the fact that low motivation is a symptom of the illness.
Have you ever been able to get a forced hospitalization and forced medication for your son? Has he ever been on injections? Our son is on a monthly injection, so at least we know the meds are always in his system and doing the best they can to control mood and positive symptoms.
Your life sounds pretty shitty. I’m so sorry.
Lily1,
Personally, I always welcome a good rant.
You are doing so great that you are able to draw the line and get him to take meds. I wished they did more for him so your life wasn’t so limited having to take care of him.
Thanks for the warning on stimulants. Like you, sever psychosis is more than I can handle. When my son in in an episode, I feel like I am being terrorized.
Sorry about feeling embarrassed, we are so helpless sometimes. Hope
I was living in New Jersey for 2 years with my sister. While I was there he was hospitalized 3 different times. In Florida unless he is a threat to him or others they won’t take him to be evaluated. My son hates the medication, he refuses to admit he is schizophrenic. At times I can make him take his medication , other times i have to crush the Haldol and put it in his protein shake. I hate doing that, but it’s crushing the medication or the nightmare of phychosis and delusions. With him being in denial it would be hard to get him to take a shot. I would have to really pressure him for weeks. This is a nightmare. I have to somehow get him to try the shot.
I’m sorry Florida has regs in place that make it difficult for you to get help for your kid. I heard of the “Baker Act”, but I don’t know anything about the requirements. It’s a crime that you can’t get support there.
I know some would say it’s not ok to sneak meds in, but we do what we have to do. I understand. I would too.
My son got on injections because we told him it was a requirement for him to be discharged to us, two hospitalizations ago. Somehow, miraculously, he still goes with me to his monthly injection appointments.
He’s still not living any semblance of a normal life, 9 months later, but I think that’s just our really bad luck.
I am sorry about your son, I can relate. It’s like one day i had my son and he turned 24 and everything went down hill. Baker Act in Florida , all they do is pick up someone suicidal or someone on drugs. If my son is having symptoms of phychosis and delusions, no one does anything because he is not a threat to himself or anyone else. So God forbid something happens then the police will pick him up. Pretty sad. I am ready to move with my son to a state where he would get the help. I have no choice but to crush his schizophrenia pill and give it to him , because at least it helps him with the phychosis and delusions. That or I have him , sleeping with bats and knives, or me staying up with him all night. It’s a horrible way for him to live or for me.
They are our kids and we have to do what’s best for them. My son was hospitalized but not in Florida. I wish he would take the shot, like your son. I am sure you know what it’s like when the get the phychosis and delusions. My son is still paranoid, but I ll take it any day, if that’s all the symptom he has for now. I told my sister, I have learned one thing from all this. I welcome all the good days , my son and I have. I guess that’s how I live now, being happy and grateful for all the good days.
Me too:) Gratitude for the good days helps me.
Sending love and prayers your way, you are a strong, loving mother. You need to take care of yourself too. I am very new to this and I feel so helpless and just want to help. You are an amazing mother, I hope you have a good support system. Mental illness is the hardest thing to deal with, I thought cancer was but this is similar. Their health deteriorates and their isn’t any cure, we have to stay strong. I prayer the people around you can understand and be kind, maybe try reassuring them he is not a harm, and ask what you can do to help them feel more comfortable. Some people just dont understand, the unknown is scary so they act the wrong way. Try home spa day, I use DIY’s to pamper my self, maybe tap into your creative side for a good thearpy, for you.
Thank you Crystal for your kind words. I feel the same way, I thought cancer was hard, but this mental illness is so severe it steals every inch of our loved ones life. It breaks my heart when I see him suffer and like yourself I feel helpless. You gave me a wonderful idea, I am going to go back to my knitting and craft.
I pray for all of us, who see our loved ones suffering and us feeling so hopeless.
Thanks again.
A walk in the park compared to this, I agree. However, my cancer episode is now part of my sons delusions/paranoia. He is sure he is going to get it and goes to extremes to keep it out - sigh.
I’m sorry, Lily. Coffee had that effect on my son too. And you’re not ranting 
Thank you Holly, I was going through a very difficult time with my son. It amazes me , how everyone who, has this illness is so different. In my sons case he has his room but insist on sleeping on the sofa, because he is guarding the door. So far, someone has come in my home and took his medications, his clothes and the mail. Holly these are our good days. 
Our problems are all the same. Been there with all you mentioned.my son has finally accepts his schizophrenia and takes his medication and likes his pscy Dr and counsellor. But that is now, when he first came back to us I. Dec of 2012, we didn’t know what was wrong g with him. Soon after returning had to hospitalized and had to go through the mental health courts and his psych Dr from the hospital to have him put on medication for schizophrenia. He got shots, every two weeks. But from there, he was hospitalized, everytime he would stop taking his medication. Finally got on the right medication and dosage for about two years now. But since he is on SSD and lives with us has no motivation to get a job. Which he can work part time, if he wanted to, and still receive SAD.
Take one day at a time.
My son is 30 and was diagnosed Jan of 2013 with paranoid schizophrenia. He’s been hospitalized twice (both involuntary) and has been on the monthly invega injection since his first hospitalization. I too haven’t said a word and he thinks he must take the shot. I don’t care. We do what we MUST. I would crush and sneak pills if it was a MUST. I would lie and say he was threatening if it was a MUST. I actually recorded him with my phone for his last involuntary. He didn’t know because he was too busy telling me all about the goons who protect him from the motherf***ers who want to hurt him 
and how he didn’t need a guardian angel because he is himself the highest angel! All recorded and presented to the mental hygiene commissioner. So sad what we have to do to help our beloved family members. But we do what we MUST!
@daquilamarguerite1 How is your son doing now?
Well, today was a bad day for me. I cried and cried. So tired of crying. He’s OK I guess, good for now. But he’s got all the negative symptoms. He was flat before his first episode and I’ve read where that can happen and it’s believed to indicate a poor prognosis. I mean he was a normal bright little boy. I mean like maybe a year before full blown. I don’t know how he can improve as he isn’t interested in being proactive at all. Very discouraging. Very heartbreaking. Thank you for asking.
@daquilamarguerite1 I’m sorry. I know the heartbreak. Have you considered a different anti-psychotic? I’m taking sarcosine myself and it seems to help. I don’t wake up all depressed.
We have no choice, we have to do what we have to do. I made that choice of crushing the medication, because it was that or I could loose my son, I told the doctor I ll be damn if my son is going to be another statistic. I have called the doctor’s office nicely to help me and because my son is 28 they didn’t want to talk to me without his consent. I told the office " his consent" my son has Pychosis and delusions right now , what consent do you want, if he can’t make decisions right now I AM HIS VOICE right now. I now call the office and do what I have to do, so the doctor hears me out. I told them I am with my son 24/7 , I know what my son goes through and myself , not the office or the doctor. I know what is best for my son , not them. If I would not have been tough with the office and the doctor about the doctor prescribing another medication for my son, the one he was on was not working, god knows where my son would be right now.
My 23 year old son also has no motivation to help himself either. He rarely gets outside in the sun, I figure he must have a vitamin d deficiency. He isolates himself so much, yes very sad. I cried a lot last couple of days, which is pretty normal for me. lol
I don’t want to rock the boat. Right now he is compliant with the monthly shot. I really don’t believe he would be good about taking pills. I bought sarcosine for him but he wouldn’t have anything to do with it. I also bought a huge bottle of fish oil supplements. Wouldn’t do that either. I have been on Prozac myself since February and so far I’m still very depressed. I think it doesn’t work because I’m not actually “clinically” depressed. I’m sad. So I thought coping skills are the only thing, whatever coping skills would be I don’t know.
I’m worried about the vitamin D thing too.