Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

A caring Mother seeeking Support with dealing with my Son

Your son, you, and your whole family are in my prayers.

Thanks so much Hereandhere for your prayers. May god Bless you.

Crimby, my son is behaving similar to you and also more extreme. Sometimes, he makes people so frustrated with him to the point that they want to punch him in his face. It is very hard to deal with him, no compromise. Even my dad who is a very compromising person, finds very exhausting to talk to my son. he would not listen and wants to do things his way. He is not logical more often than usual and makes poor decisions. he also very impatient and cannot listen to someone talking for long time . I believe this may be due to flood of bizarre thoughts bombarding his mind and possibly hearing noises. he would call me when it is like 3AM in Middle East and tell me he feels that he loosing his soul and it is better for him to die than you live without a soul. Recently he got into fight with someone from the town and threw a bottle of beer at him and a fight with another. this is getting out hand. I am waiting for him to come to the US so I can force him to take meds or get him Hospitalized… but I am also scare of the consequences since I am by myself. I will have to ask friends for help.

I am think more and more than my son has paranoid personality disorder PPD?
The reason I am saying that because his behaviors are very similar to these:

Individuals with Paranoid Personality Disorder are generally difficult to get along with and often have problems with close relationships. Their excessive suspiciousness and hostility may be expressed in overt argumentativeness, in recurrent complaining, or by quiet, apparently hostile aloofness. Because they are hypervigilant for potential threats, they may act in a guarded, secretive, or devious manner and appear to be “cold” and lacking in tender feelings. Although they may appear to be objective, rational, and unemotional, they more often display a labile range of affect, with hostile, stubborn, and sarcastic expressions predominating. Their combative and suspicious nature may elicit a hostile response in others, which then serves to confirm their original expectations.

Because individuals with Paranoid Personality Disorder lack trust in others, they have an excessive need to be self-sufficient and a strong sense of autonomy. They also need to have a high degree of control over those around them. They are often rigid, critical of others, and unable to collaborate, and they have great difficulty accepting criticism.

Seems like the treatment is more based on

Treatment of paranoid personality disorder typically involves long-term psychotherapy.

it will be hard with medication according to
Medication generally is not a major focus of treatment for PPD.

Can anyone comment on the treatment of someone with paranoid personality disorder

Yes. Sometimes it is needful to lean on others. Get what help you can.

PPD is a disorder of trust. The person with PPD was usually (not always) abused and/or neglected in some fashion (though that fashion is very wide-ranging and may or may not have anything whatsoever to do with how the child was brought up).

What is crucial to keep in mind is that while they may want to trust others, it is very difficult for them, as they see anyone who gets close to them as a potential abuser or abandoner. And they will sort of “snap” into sudden and surprising hostility when that usually UNconscious fear of being abused or abandoned strikes them.

The best current psychotherapies for PPD (according to scientific studies of effectiveness) appear to be:

DBT – http://behavioraltech.org/resources/whatisdbt.cfm

MBCT - http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22340145

ACT – https://contextualscience.org/act

Schematherapy – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schema_Therapy

Learned Optimism – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Learned_optimism and

Standard CBT – http://www.beckinstitute.org/what-is-cognitive-behavioral-therapy/About-CBT/252/

…more or less in that order of researched effectiveness.

But the patient will usually have to be treated with MET/MI for some time before he or she is ready to do any of those therapies.

See

and (though it is not an easy read, even for a professional)…

http://www.amazon.com/Motivational-Interviewing-Helping-Edition-Applications/dp/1609182278/ref=pd_sim_14_2?ie=UTF8&dpID=516Nc%2BJ8khL&dpSrc=sims&preST=AC_UL160_SR107%2C160&refRID=01JZQSNGQ08DJRK1TRWS

Another useful guidebook for family members dealing with the patient’s PPD is…

http://www.amazon.com/On-Becoming-Person-Therapists-Psychotherapy/dp/039575531X

Rodgers came up with the notions of empathy, compassion and unconditional positive regard, which are the bedrocks of establishing trust with PPD patients. ('Cause, they will Test Your Patience unless you have this stuff down because you have cleared most of your own psychiatric “hurdles.”)

im sure things will improve soon for both you and your son. Schizophrenia is cyclical and has ups and downs. It just takes time to heal.

Not sure what will happens Now!! I am going through Crisis.
my son took a flight from Lebanon with my dad but my dad did not pass through customs in Lebanon because his US greencard is expired.

My son called my from Germany and on purpose did not take his flight and wanted me to send him an email that I will not put him in Hospital and force him to take his medicine.
and he is asking me to pay for $300 flight from Germany.
My dad already paid for the flight from Lebanon $800.00
I already spent $7000.00 between May and August for his screw-ups…
and now, we are back to Square one.

I did sent him an email that I will not put to hospital unless he is misbehaving.

Now, I am going to think how I am going to deal with him when he gets to the US and convince him to take his medicine.

God this so hard. why this is happening to me!
God this so hard. why this is happening to me!

my son screwing up financially . In my old Age, I am working 2 jobs.
God this is so exhausting and overwhelming.

God, why this is happening to me!!
do I really deserve this?

I have pretty much the same situation as yours and share your feelings. My son has been dealing with schizophrenia for about 20 years. The doctors tried every medication in the book but to no avail. In and out of hospitals for years until finally a doctor tried the Olanzapine 10 mg twice a day. That seem to be the only medication that works for him although the medication does cause them to over eat thus a precursor to Type II Diabetes. So please monitor his diet and ensure that he get labs checked.

bel,
I went through very difficult situation 10 days ago and I managed to put my son in the hospital through a court order.
his doctor is giving him Zyprexa/Olanzapene one pill in the morning and another one at night , 10 mg each. I think this dose will get reduced in a month to one pill a day, not sure!

has your son been functional, I mean has he worked in the past 20 years since he was diagnosed? or are you supporting him?
this is a heart- breaking illness.

Thanks for your reply. I appreciate any information.

hope things will get better for your son.
Please pray for me.

Hi Jarca2016
I have been supporting my son all of these years. He is now 43. The Olanzapine keeps him stabilized to some degree. He does not work. He can not communicate well with people. I tried to see if he could live alone, but that did not work. People could not understand him and I could understand that. He can not live alone. I retired from work a few months ago because he can not be left alone. I do want to go back to work though but not right now until I can find a program that he can attend during the day or placed in a facility where he can be around other people. It is hard

Hi Bel,
God bless you.
I know people does not sympathize with those who have this illness.
It is hard to even tell sometimes if they are ill until they go through lapses. I just started reading about this illness and bought a book: " Surviving Schizophrenia", A family manual.
I am also worried that my son cannot live alone. He went to college for 5 years and was OK until he was diagnosed last May. I am trying to get guardianship so I can get some benefits for him later like medical coverage and disability.

does your son get any benefits like disability? what about medical cost. what kind of medial insurance?
I know it is hard but keep positive attitude.
I will pray for both of you.

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My son does get disability but not very much. I am his main support. I mentioned to the doctor that I wanted to try to get him into some sort of rehab program. She referred me to the Dept of Assistive and Rehabilitative Services. I am going to try that to see if he would benefit from it.
When you write about your son and the things that he is going through I can draw a picture in my mind because I have been down that road with my son. People say that you don’t know what another person is going through, well I can say that I know what you are going through. My prayers are with you and your son. You also have a wealth of love with you having your family so supportive. It can be very difficult going it alone.
I find that if he does stay on the medication he could benefit from it. The problem is that when he stops taking the medication it just takes longer to get stabilized on it again.
May GOD bless you and keep you and your son.

Bel,
my son is now in the hospital and he has been there for 3 weeks. Every time I called him, he is cursing at me.
he is very angry at me that I put him in Hospital.
I had no choice, lots of things had happened with me and him since he took his flight from Lebanon. I cannot start telling all the events. it was overwhelmed and started getting to me and I was afraid to loose my job and I am under a tremendous amount of financial debt.

I ended up calling my Lawyer and get a court order to take to hospital where he is now at.

The social worker is saying that the first week was very hard to deal with him but he is improving slowly.

I am calling him almost daily. Sometimes he talks and many other times, he makes excuses that he is sleeping or just does not want to talk.

It is Christmas time and I am feeling down. he is my only Son and I cannot celebrate Xmas without him.

But I trust that God will pull us through this trial time.

Please keep us in your prayers.

its been 30 years with my son from 7 years old to almost 37 he has broken up 2 marriages and the first being his father and now i am engaged and i can see the trouble starting i have no brothers and sisters and my parents are both dead . his fathers family have all given up right now he is homeless on the streets of philadelphia and everyone can’t understand i know the extent of the disease . he was told he has the mind of a 12 year old and was abused by his father hitting him around 7 years old and still talks down to him. I feel so alone and i am not sure if the man i am engaged to will continue to stay with me this a horrible and crippling disease i hate it

My son is also in hospital due to relapse, stopped taking risperidone in October. Happens everytime he goes off his meds…they are tri g to get an ACT team told supervise him when he ie is discharged. When off his meds acts and does very bizzare things. The doctor is putting on shots which he will get every two weeks, so he will stay coxmpliant with taking his meds. Very sad for him and us, but when he is on his meds, is a different person, even if he gained slot of weight and and lacks ambition, he can function and gets along with family and kind . Gettingdischarged Thursday, and coming back here where he has a studio apartment in our house, so at least there is separation.

Hi Jarca, Our son sounds a lot like yours He also had 4 yrs of college but was diagnosed at 23 He is now 32 and we have had the same problem He has a lack of insight. He believes that the goverment /CIA is involved with everything… It is heart breaking to watch and because of his age legally there is nothing we can do if he doesn’t want to take meds We too are considering guardianship. Even then how does that really help if you do get it He would just run off. This weekend has been a nightmare and there is nothing i can do but wait until he is at the point of Baker Acting him and that is short term I understand where you are coming from and wish i could let both of us Just hang in there they are worth it

I have read the responses on this thread.

I feel greatly comforted in knowing that my 44-year-old son

currently in the State Psych. hospital for the 3rd or 4th time,

exhibits many of the same symptoms/problems that other family members experience.

After a recent phone call from him,

I became so depressed I couldn’t continue with normal daily activities.

I rested and took good care of myself.

Are we ever free of the horrible feelings of helplessness and

sorrow?

How can we help them have a better life?

How do you cope when you feel bad/inadequate/helpless?

Vrmont Woman

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When I get really depressed over it all, usually when he’s really sick, I have to remember that at least he’s alive - and as long as he’s alive, there’s still hope.

I’ll be honest & say I have to have a moment alone to do that - when he’s ranting about something that scares me (scared for him, not of him), it’s hard for anything to help me feel better.

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