A quote I found that seemed relevant

"When your heart is breaking for someone who is broken, but your words can’t reach them and your love can’t save them, ask the angels to go where you cannot. To whisper into their heart where their ears can’t hear: “We will not give up on you, Don’t give up on yourself.” " ~~by Sandra Kring

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That is just lovely x

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I often think of a time when my son was 3 or 4 years old. He would stand in front of me and plant his feet in between mine. He would bounce the back of his head against my abdomen….it was his was his way of getting in the middle of whatever I was doing, or simply because he wanted to be first and ahead of me in line. I would twist my fingers through the threads of his hair and marvel at the silken density of it. I would repeatedly collect it in the palm of my hand like currency.

Today……he cannot tolerate being touched.

Someone in here wrote once, “I miss the clear and bright eyed child that I only have in photos from the past. There are moments today when he rises up through the encumbrances of this illness when I can still see the spark of his soul…but it is usually for just the briefest of moments…and then it is gone again.”

I too, Catherine, pray that all of our loved ones hear the whispers of our hearts…I pray every day that some day, there is a cure for this thief of an illness.

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Unless my son is quite psychotic, I can usually give him a hug, and he will usually hug back. I try to do it every day. I am happy for that.

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@Vallpen same here, my son is a good hugger so long as he is stable, this quote makes me think of my sister, she is a rigid board if I try to hug her, arms by her side, pained look on her face, I tell her I love her and she looks flustered, and mouths the words back, yeah, love you too and then proceeds with her usual unending, circular run on sentence about herself until we part company. She is 55 and fairly set in her ways, I am working on accepting her for who she is now. There may be a couple of minutes of what I call “grounded recognition” during our visit. It is fleeting but I kind of live for those moments when I am with her.

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Thank you all for your stories. I have been preparing for a ministry I’m doing for my church (listening &ministering) to people going through grief. As I prayed and meditated my own pain overwhelmed me. The loss of my daughter. She was not open & trusting as a young girl due to some horrific lies her dad told her after our divorce. When I did get her in early 20’s she was broken. My memories are of a happy five year old with huge blue eyes, loved to snuggle while I read to her before bed. I still do read to her when she is able to concentrate even a little. My heart is ready to hear what ever losses God has for me in my Grief class.

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:purple_heart: this just popped up on my facebook page today! Beautiful and I’m asking those angels as we speak. Thanks

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Your words resound with me and I cannot say how often - probably a few times every day, I recall our son at 3 and 4 and 5 and 6. When I arrive home at night some of the first things I see are favorite photos of him at these very ages. He was a beautiful boy with golden hair and the sweetest face - and the best sense of humor at such a young age. I am grateful for treasured memories. Today he is 28 and I really can’t rehash or repeat some of the monstrous things he has done and said in the grips of this monster of an illness. I keep the faith in God’s promises that some day every one of us will be restored and reborn. I love him and reach out with concern from time to time across 2,000 miles but my care and concerns are met with vitriol - he has even threatened to change his name now that he has “refurbished his DNA.” His words. God Bless You, another mother and friend.

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I hear you, know your joy, and feel your pain, mom57. I too keep the faith in those same promises.

Blessings to you.

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Lovely and relevant. Many years ago I read, “Having a child is like having your heart walk outside your body.” It’s a comfort to believe that when they seem so far away, we still have a spiritual connection.

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