Hello All! I have not posted in a while, but I read your posts and I pray/send good vibes to all regularly. I just wanted to give a positive update, as I feel we don’t see enough of that in group sessions or on these forums sometimes. Some just struggle to find the positive, which I get, because I feel that way a lot too. This is why I no longer attend the in person family support groups. They almost always consist of people seriously struggling and feeling defeated by what feels like losses that came with their family members condition.
I realized the other day that sometimes I need to focus on even the littlest positives as a win. It helps me when I do this. Something as simple as my son initiating a short conversation, a witnessed smirk or even better, a smile. I actually witnessed the smile with his dimple showing the other day and it brought me so much joy. He was trying to pet a dog that usually wants nothing to do with him, but this time it did and he smiled after petting it. That’s a win!
My son had stopped eating my food for a very long time, but he is once again eating what I cook some of the time. That’s a win! He actually complimented my soup the other day and I was shocked. Big win!
He still wont say he loves me or respond to me telling him it. I have not had a hug since December which kills me, but trying to find the little moments of positive that happen seems to help me cope. I just wanted to share, as I know so many of you with children that have been diagnosed, are likely struggling too. Try to find the little moments if you can.
Thank you for sharing this. I too hang on to the smallest of positive/ happy/productive moments like a smile or when he brings the dirty dishes to the kitchen from his bedroom or when he sits down with me to talk a little even if only for a few minutes. I realize these times don’t necessarily mean progress but they are break throughs and I’m grateful for them. My son Michael is 28, diagnosed at 21 like right out of the proverbial textbook. Med compliant but struggles to manage the disease. This forum helped me know that I am not alone. 
Best,
Ruth
Thank you for sharing. It is amazing how even little things that are “positive” mean so much to us! We must hold on to the good and persevere through other challenges when we can, keeping safety and our own health in mind, of course. I like to encourage those who are not currently in “serious struggle” to attend a family support group from time to time, especially if you have already been connected with one. Those other families who ARE struggling need to hear positive stories like this, to give them hope for a better future in a realistic way. May there be more “dimple” moments for all of us!
I agree, it is really good to focus on the positives. Those compliments and small smiles go a long way.
My brother is in his 60s, diagnosed decades ago. I used to ruminate on his problems a lot. Much of that was needed, to understand what was happening and take the right course of action. But often it just dragged me down. Now I count up at the end of the day all the good things going on as well.
The latest positive was going through the bank drive-thru together. That alone is worth celebrating because 20 years ago, he was nearly non-verbal, really struggling. Anyway, I was at the wheel but it was my brother’s bank and his minor transaction we needed to get done. Because we’ve bumbled through such scenarios often in the past, we were both apparently dialed in to making this event go smoothly. When it was our turn the teller appeared and we got started, with me as the intermediary between him, in the passenger seat, and her at the window.
“The teller needs your–” He handed me his driver’s license-BAM–before I finished the sentence.
“She wants to know the dates for–”
He calmly told me the dates.
Moments later: “Maybe say thank–” He yelled “thank you very much, ma’am” across me, to the teller at the window, before I was even done speaking.
It was kinda hilarious, like in the movies when the doctor says, “scalpel” and the nurse slaps one into his hand a half a second later. Driving out, he watched for cars as I got back on the road: “On your left, blue Ford.” “Ok, got it.”
Too bad we’re not brain surgeons or bank robbers, I said, cause we’re a good team today. We both laughed.
That was a hard-earned moment of positivity.
Thank you for starting this post.
Have you noticed that some aspects of the disorder have changed as he has gotten older? I have read that in many cases positive symptoms diminish or even disappear. I’m not so sure about negative symptoms.
Hi there! My 29 year old son has been refusing to take medication since April 24, He is now refusing to go to his psychiatrist appts. He is lost in his world of voices, paranoia and delusions. Hearing all of your positive stories gives me hope that this will pass.
I love this! Thank you for sharing your positivity as well 
Mine was 17, senior years loving, funny, sweet young man. He was a straight A honor society student. All of the sudden, Bam! He is doing okay, but I do miss the old version of my boy. For now, I just hold on to the occasional wins we get. 
Mine is 18 now. He was diagnosed just a few months before turning 18. He now manages all of his doc appts and does not let me know how that goes. The last time I was involved, he was willing to take the OCD meds but was not wanting to take an antipsychotic med. He said it made him feel bad, with heart racing and anxiety raising. At the time, I didn’t really want to accept the initial scz diagnosis, as I was hoping it was just bad OCD symptoms kicking in. I wish I would have pushed him to stay on an antipsychotic longer, to give it a try long enough to see if it would have helped him more. I can’t go back in time. He is doing a little better with what he is on, but I know he would likely benefit from adding the antipsychotic. I pray that one day he will decide to try it. I hope yours will too. Until then, keep holding on to any wins you get.
You are right! They do need some positivity. I wish I would have seen that when I went. Maybe I will return so I can try to bring some
Yes, some aspects seem changed. It seems like he’s more at peace with the positive symptoms like hallucinations and delusions, so outwardly, they’ve diminished a good bit. But I know he still has many beliefs that are way out there.
However, he shares them almost appropriately, as part of a conversation with someone he knows, not yelling out to total strangers in a public place for example, and he doesn’t act on them or act out much at all. He says he has some strategies for when these thoughts come up.
On the negative side, those symptoms definitely do still exist. He’s quiet. He can look very disinterested in the world, even thought I know that’s not the case. The motivation part of negative symptoms is complicated. I’d say he is still not motivated to do daily things like brushing teeth always or making choices to do something I would find fun. And yet, he seems motivated to be better every day and to handle the life he has.
It’s frankly inspiring (when it’s not maddening.)
Thanks for your kind reply. My son isolates nowadays and barely talks. He never goes out and has no friends. It is heartbreaking, I wish for better times to come. Hope and positivity is all we have. I hope you and your son have a peaceful day with some joy in it.
Wonderfully uplifting positivity in this post. Thank you for sharing and for encouraging all of us here to celebrate the little wins as we navigate this difficult journey.
Today my loving wife (who suffers from psychosis) asked me to go out for dinner - huge win, we take out but eat in most often. She got dressed up (I certainly had to up my game tonight), looked stunning, and we even had some conversation (which has been infrequent since the onset of her psychosis two years ago).
Huge win! So grateful for these precious memories.
Love and strength to all! K
So happy for your win! It makes my heart so happy to hear the positivity coming from this post. Thank you for sharing! I hope you have many more huge wins!
Yesterday was a good day for me also. My daughter is almost 24 and came out of her room yesterday to do her meal prep as she loves to buy and make her own food.
She has recently got her licence back and bought a little car. She will travel to the beach and back most days - so that’s a positive for us.
We just chatted, nothing to serious and I try to keep sentences short as her mind gets jumbled.
Love to all caring for their loved ones with this insidious, horrible disease
That is very encouraging. Age can sometimes be a good thing, even though all of us would rather see our loved ones not plagued by this disorder at all. I have great hope that science eventually will be able to control SZ as a chronic condition, with few if any side effects, if not find a cure outright.
Happy for your win!
Yes, chimain! I find inspiration in seeing my son, now 31, overcome the sz challenges he faces each day. We can learn so much from them!
There are occasionally situations where a person has a First Episode of psychosis and it never occurs again, but this is extremely uncommon as far as I know. I don’t rule out miracles or medical events that can’t be explained, but it is unlikely that a SZ diagnosis will “pass”. The best things I can recommend are discussed elsewhere on this site but include continuing to learn more about the illness and ways to help our loved ones (NAMI is usually a good resource for that…various programs and including support for yourself), and learning new ways to communicate with a person who is unable to see him or herself as sick and needing help. (Especially, I Am Not Sick: I Don’t Need Help, but there are other helps, too.) Yes, be hopeful for the future! But meaningful recovery usually requires a lot of work on the part of someone who cares very much and is able to garner the time, emotional and physical energy, and sometimes financial resources, to work toward that goal.
Very true! I worked hard for years to help my daughter recover her mind, and it almost bankrupted me emotionally, spiritually and financially BUT it was ONLY keeping track of the positives that kept me going every day.
I kept a voice mail message from her on my phone for a long time because she laughed in the message. It was so lovely to hear that laugh! It didn’t happen often in “real” life. I would listen to it every so often to give myself a smile.
Years later, I was sad to switch phone providers as the voice mail message was lost. But I still smile when I think of it. Small things, they make such a difference to care-givers!