Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

My brother is seriously ill w/ schizophrenia, OCD, depression..you name it. I need help PLEASE :(

My brother is 28 now and things are getting horrible. He has schizophrenia but I feel like its different with him than with others which I’ve read about on here and many other sites.

Yes, there are the regular symptoms of schizophrenia that he shows, like psychosis, hearing things, talking to himself (even though he believes he’s talking to someone else), the angry outbursts and delusions, but with him it goes so far beyond that. He’s always ANGRY. He’s mad at us, he believes we are in on whatever these voices are telling him.We can’t talk to him, he doesn’t want to be spoken to, and if we do, he will start screaming at us, cussing and swearing, punching things like walls and tables. I don’t want to risk it so I stay out of his way. He doesn’t want to take any medication or see a doctor. And we tried several ways to get him to go…even with money incentives!!

Sometimes, I see him shaking. It started off with just his leg, like he was restless. Then it moved to his hands, then his whole body. Now he curls up his hands and arms to the side and sticks his tongue out while he shakes his whole body uncontrollably. But then its like he snaps out of it and moves on. What is that? Is it something to do with his nerves. I feel like it calms him?

My parents don’t know what to do. He swears at them left and right, calls them all kinds of horrible things and honestly I’m scared to go home. He gets violent and punches things and breaks furniture. I feel like my parents don’t want to aggravate him and the situation more so he doesn’t hurt himself or us. But this is no way of living. For none of us. I lock myself in my room because I’m scared. I’m almost 26 but still haven’t moved out because I don’t want to leave my parents like this! I feel guilty. I want to help but don’t know how. I looked up everything. I don’t know what to do! Can anyone help who’s gone through this? Is there hope?

He doesn’t work, barely even leaves the house. Doesn’t drive, no motivation or goals. Only thing he does is watch youtube all day. things that remind him of his past, when he was a kid.

I’d like to add that my parents, neighbors, family and myself have tried calling the cops numerous times but they won’t take him!! We’ve even told them we believe he might hurt himself and that he has stopped taking his pills, but they refuse to do anything! Doesn’t that make them liable if anything does happen?

He also has MAJOR OCD, he cannot be touched. Doesn’t want to touch anything without using a napkin. God forbid if anyone walks by him the wrong time or way, or touches something of his, he will have an outburst. Its scary.

Please someone tell me something useful. I’m so lost. This is so horrible and I feel for every single person who goes through this. God is great. I’m staying hopeful.

Yelena

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I feel so bad for you Do you have a crisis center you could call? When my son was violent they talked me through calling the police, told me what to say. I had heard so many times “unless he hurts himself or others” theres nothing we can do. My son was standing behind me while I was sitting, with a knife behind his back. I told 911 he came at me with a knife. I hated "exaggerating " the truth… but he needed help. Your brother needs to be admitted, diagnosed and medicated. Do you have a NAMI around… if so you and your parents should go. So… first thing is to find out your crisis centers number. That’s a start… Keep us posted.

I am sorry for what you are going through… he definitely needs help like @Shallcro said. Luckily my daughter voluntarily checked herself into the hospital, so I haven’t had to deal with cops so far. But from what I have read here on in books, it is not always easy to convince cops, or even EMT workers. You are probably already aware of the laws in your area that regard to involuntary hospitalization.

I am in the States. There is a thing called a Mental Health Hold. You can get it through your County Attorney. You will have to give them all the documentation on your brother. ie. his first psychotic break was in May of 2017? When he thought (for example) the FBI and drones were following him, he breaks furniture, … Also list all the things you mention in this post. Keep all records of what he has done. At least call your County Attorney and explain to him what is going on. They have you sign and affidavit and if you have pictures of your brother that is helpful. If the attorney agrees that they judge will sign the Mental Health Hold the police come and get them. I had 15 cops come to get my son as when they arrested him for a warrant it took about 5 so I told them he is very strong when in psychosis so they came prepared. Then the took him to the hospital where he got court ordered meds. Long story he is on an invega shot monthly and is able to function and work. He still has some negative symptoms but is soooo much better. Here is the County Attorney info. for Boulder CO in case you can’t find one in your area - they may be able to help you find that. I had to go to the courthouse and ask them. The whole process took 24 hours. It was raining and snowing and just so difficult but so worth it. I don’t know if your brother would qualify but it’s worth looking into.

Mark T. Doherty
Assistant County Attorney
Boulder County Attorney’s Office
(303) 682-6760

ps - It may be good he isn’t driving. I know of one person years ago paranoid sx was driving and trying to get away from the FBI or someone and hit someone and killed them.

I hope this helps.

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The strange shakes and nonsense gestures you describe sound like it might be Tourette syndrome, Schizophrenic Catatonia, or a response to a hallucination. Definitely something a doctor would need to diagnose.

If your brother isn’t in a treatment program including medication, psychiatrist visits, therapy (and possibly more comprehensive treatments), that should be your family’s #1 priority.
Personally, I believe anything short of overall good quality of life and a positive view of the future isn’t good enough. Anything that doesn’t result in your brother having those things is a waste of time and energy.

My own brother has spent a really long time coping with Schizophrenia, rather than living his life and doing the things he wants to do. My family as a whole is guilty of appeasement, because it is easier than helping the DX’d see that they need treatment.
In my experience with my brother and his degree of Schizo-effective disorder (Schizophrenia, Bi-polar, Post Traumatic Stress, probably more…), Fully involved treatment including medication, psychiatry, group therapy, individual therapy and family involvement all combined are the only thing worth investing time and energy into. Everything else is ineffective and a massive waste.

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Thank you. This is really helpful.

I’m sorry you and your family are going through this. It isn’t easy and the feeling I’m getting from you is you feel out of control in your own home. It’s an uneasy feeling Nd can be tough on the spirit. Maybe your parents don’t exactly know what to do. It’s possible it’s all a little too overwhelming.

Might I suggest counseling for you? Or do you have a local pastor or mentor you can talk to regularly? I think there are a lot of good comments on here to help your family get your brother on track. But it’s hard. It might take a family effort and like another member said maybe even police to help him get treatment. Sometimes you have to put your foot down and other times you have to let things go. That’s why it’s so important you have someone to vent to. Please keep us updated too. Hugs.