Things are SO much better here than 2 1/2 years ago. Building the apartment on top of our unattached garage for our son was the smartest thing we ever did. Our son also remains unmedicated, but he continues to be able to do his laundry -oh yeah I put a washer and dryer out there for him, fixes himself simple meals and after working with a therapist (his idea) he even grocery shops for himself. He did his third yearly road trip by himself and did nearly 3 weeks instead of just 2.
We have learned to live around Jeb’s illness. Made a place to sit outside on the far side of the house from Jeb, so us outside relaxing doesn’t trigger his psychosis . Parked the riding mower and other gardening stuff in a different place where I don’t have to worry about startling him into an episode with the garage door going up. Now I can mow our yard whenever I want, I just don’t mow close to his garage unless I know he is awake and I don’t worry if the grass there gets more than a little long;)
We keep a list of all the property maintenance we need to do that totally freaks him out - his dad with a chainsaw in hand for one thing- now we wait and do that list during his road trip.
At my husband’s request I have turned off texting on my phone at night. I let Jeb know that he can still call me, those will come through the do not disturb setting, but I wouldn’t see any 2am texts until the next morning - and oddly enough- he has rarely texted at night since that change.