Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Boyfriend with SZ


#1

I need some advice. My boyfriend has SZ and it seems pretty mild. He has delusions about once a month, hears voices daily, but unless he had told me about it, I would have never known. He hides it very well, and he’s really high functioning. He says his meds almost completely control the symptoms. He lives on his own, has a very stable job, and goes to school. He doesn’t drink, smoke, or do drugs. He’s never been hospitalized. He was diagnosed a little over a year ago. He’s very affectionate and loving and has never mistreated me. Looking at a future with him, what can I expect? Is there a chance it will get worse with age? Things are fine now, but I’m concerned about the long term. Does anyone have any experiences I could draw from?


#2

It sounds like you and he are the lucky ones. He is managing his illness and doesn’t abuse substances. In my opinion, you are blessed beyond measure. One never knows the future or has any guarantee. If you love each other and care for one another, you have as good a chance if not better than half the population out there. I wish you a happy life.


#3

Do you mind saying how old your boyfriend is and how long since he developed SZ?

There’s no guarantees, but many people are able to stay on their meds and do well. It sounds like he’s one of those people.


#4

As long as he continues taking his medications, he’ll be golden. You two sound really happy and he seems to be stable and in control.


#5

I’d look at social security and ask myself if I can live on that amount of money. You may end up supporting the household. Is that the kind of pressure and stress you want to sign yourself up for? There are many many fish in the sea.


#6

Half of people with schizophrenia-like psychosis recover significantly, according to E Fuller Torrey’s research.

There are lots of people with the diagnosis who live full lives.

Generally, sz is worse during late adolescence and young adulthood.

This forum is mainly people who are trying to get enough help to our family members in hopes that they wind up in as good of health as your boyfriend.


#7

@lizzardmuzic Welcome, anyone dealing with schizophrenia in any capacity, from extremely ill to even close to full remission is welcomed here to share their stories…we can all draw on the entire spectrum of the course this illness takes whether very bad or very good and many of us could use a few more very good stories to read about, so thank you for yours…It sounds like you and your boyfriend have a very good and loving relationship and that because he is compliant with his treatment and does not abuse drugs and alcohol his ability to cope is progressing pretty well. You did not mention his age but age is important as some of the other members here have mentioned. Under the age of 25 is usually the most trying years of this illness and the most serious symptoms tend to lesson after the age of 25. There are exceptions to every rule and every person is different but generally speaking the older the person gets the less severe the illness is. What typically happens is the “negative” effects can increase in some people, lethargy, lack of motivation, and apathy is common negative traits. I would just advise as I do many people that come here, to read up on the illness and remember that there are no firm “rules” about the illness it is a different experience for every person that deals with it. If you have a NAMI (National Advocacy for the Mentally Ill) chapter in your area, I would contact them as they are a huge source of information, resources and free educational classes. Most importantly always take care of yourself so that you are able maintain your own health and peace of mind. http://nami.org/ https://www.livingwithschizophreniauk.org/advice-sheets/negative-symptoms-understanding/


#8

You always have great advice Catherine, I can never skim over your input :heart:


#9

Thank you for the compliment. I hope you and your sister are doing well. :tulip:


#10

This was the best explanation of negative symptoms I have read. Thank you for sharing.


#11

How old is your boyfriend? My daughter was diagnosed at 19 and then I was told no it’s not sz but bipolar and then later, not not bp but borderline personality disorder and back and forth it went. Now it’s sz and I believe it is the most accurate diagnosis.

Her former partner is diagnosed as having sz but I don’t see sz at all but rather a background of extreme neglect, trauma as a very young child and non existent mothering and nurturing by his mother. His mother was diagnosed with epilepsy and incapable of caring for a child but insisted on keeping him even when her mentally healthy and successful brother wanted to adopt him. She didn’t give him up because by the time he was 7 years old he was responsible for keeping food in the house and making sure the utility bill was paid. He told me that there were times there was no electricity in the house and he found a way to get money and have the electricity turned on.

My daughter’s former partner abuses drugs, is often homeless but has very strong survival instincts and can for the most part function at a very high level.

Your boyfriend sound like a real jewell and extremely high functioning. In your shoes I’d probably want to hang on to him.

Me personally of what I have seen and gone through with my own daughter I would never want to get involved with someone with a serious mental illness, however with my own flesh and blood it’s different – I could never give up on my daughter… My daughter is very low functioning and loving someone like that is extremely draining, can effect emotional and physical health and it doesn’t go away - mental illness can be relentless. I don’t want to sound negative and I do believe there are success stories out there but what I see is that the mental health community is very desperate to put on a positive spin on mi and not are not always transparent because folks don’t want to hear sad and tragic stories but there are very tragic stories out there.


#12

Thank you for all the advice! My boyfriend is 28, almost 29, and your responses have given me a lot of comfort.