Thank you for getting back to me and your honesty 
Disbeliefs happening everyday now. Very few moments of clarity. Saying Iām and ātheyā are trying to murder himā¦drugging him etc. Me and my stupid idea of going to the drugstore to buy a drug test. It was late and I was so tired. I said that it looked like many steps and we could do it in the morning. Nopeā¦ He did it by himself while taking 3 benadryl to sleep. False positive. It wont believe anything else sees. I paid for a real blood test at a local laboratory and it if course came back negative. I know that I have to ignore it but itās all the time just about. Telling me Iām going to burn in hell and he is going to heaven. I know better but Iām so darn exhausted. He talks to himself all day and night. Whole conversations. Only sleeps little naps. He gets up after a little while and turns off the furnace because he thinks that his neighbors are gassing him. I feel bad for his neighbors with all of the yelling at the walls at all hours. He wants to leave with no where to go and I canāt believe that they havenāt called the police or got him evicted. He is my world and it is killing me to sit and watch this happen. There is NO reasoning with him anymore. He totally believes all of his delusions and lies. 
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@Laz Your son sounds like my daughter. Her talking in her room woke me again tonight. Unmedicated, I donāt believe she has any chance of getting better. She always comes off the meds, even when they help her, as she āisnāt ill and doesnāt need medsā. Despite trying LEAP for a year, I have found nothing to tempt her onto staying on meds. I try to manage her better, and it slightly improves things for me to leave her alone most of the time. I sometimes wonder when is enough enough? But I keep going despite the exhaustion.
I wish I could get her on meds to end some of her torment (and mine).
Try to take care of yourself Laz. You deserve some peace.
@ZombieMombie and @Shmookitty How did you get on meds is my question, did you need help to do that? I love that you are willing to answer questions and are on this forum. If this is too personal, I understand if you donāt answer.
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@oldladyblue Not too personal at all. I went looking for meds on my own.
I was molested by a family member when I was 3 and 4 years old, and in my late teens, I was having such a hard time with flashbacks and psychosis that was related to my abuse. I was convinced the abuser was waiting outside for me, Iād have visual hallucinations of him in my house, etc.
Then when my schizoaffective started and I had unrelated hallucinations and ādelusionsā as well, it was more than I could handle. I was hospitalized for three weeks and started on Zyprexa not long before that. I was attempting to work at the time and was absolutely falling apart. I needed help and I knew it.
With ten years of therapy, I processed my incest issues but therapy doesnāt really help with my sza. I tried last time in 2015 but stopped going because it wasnāt doing any good. My meds help with the hallucinations - Iām on 30 mg Haldol now. I get breakthrough voices once or twice a month and the occasional tactile hallucination. My ādelusionsā are still firmly there though, as is my paranoia. I am disabled due to my paranoia alone. My pdoc says there is no med that specifically targets paranoia so I am stuck. I use Klonopin and Propranolol when things get really bad, again, I asked for med help and got it.
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He is my fiancee. As of right now Iām at his apartment and he wont open the door again. Last night he was so sweet but only for a few hours. He gave me such a huge hug and he filled a bucket of hot water for my feet which totally took me by surprise. Now weāre back to Iām trying to murder him.
So Iām a little to the question and answer session. My wife has SZA, she had a symptomatic relapse approx 6 months ago. She has been āokā up until maybe the last 3 weeks or so. I am going to have her hospitalized on Thursday as she has been going from seeming like her normal self to lobbing false accusations at me, everyone hates her etcā¦ I have to do this at this point as she no longer is functioning and needs help she wont get for herself. I have to protect my stepson (her son) from any more collateral damage. He is almost to the point of not wanting to be in the same room with her anymore. He and I want our wife and mother back and I no longer see an option
So I guess my question is:
How do we help her reconcile the delusions / hallucinations to āreal lifeā for lack of a better term. ?
This is a first for our family where we are going to have her hospitalized. So this has been extremely hard on us.
Thank you for your time.
Thank you. I donāt know exactly how
Laurie ā¦sorry should have included on last post. I am at his apartment after not being allowed in all day. He wanted me to bring my electric heater and when I got here he changed his mind. He had a bunch of bags with food (some which requires cooking) and said he was leaving. Whereā¦no answer. He wants to take the car that I paid for minus 400.00 from the sale of his truck. I have the receipt and my bank statement showing the withdrawal and the title even if it is in his name. He wants to sell it. He begged me to help him get this car and I thought I could help him out and save him some money with paying interest and other fees. NOPE!!! Now he wants his 400 back and I get the car. I donāt need or have time to sell a car especially in November in Rochester NY.
Thank you for your response. I am glad that you were able to ask for medicine and to stay on it. It is too bad that there isnāt remission of all symptoms, but it sounds like you are operating well. Reaching out to help others is such a good thing for you to do in my opinion, as in 2.5 years Iāve only had one other (dx SA) talk to me about their meds and treatments. He was such a nice man, tormented by the side effect of having to walk, walk, walk all the time, but per him, soooooo happy to be medicated out of the hallucinations that were plaguing him before medicine.
Hi Laz, I just got familiar with private messages. Click on your symbol at top right of this screen in the bar at top, then click on messages, then you will see ācomposeā messages.
This illness is extremely hard to bear. You must get her into the hospital and on a correct medication. If she will go, you are ahead of the game, if she will not, then forced hospitalization is probably the next step. Hopefully she will stay on meds after release from the hospital and be able have a life again. You may never see the āoldā her again, but the ānewā her, with medication and control of symptoms will hopefully put some peace back into your family. I know this probably sounds a bit curt, but Iāve been struggling for 2.5 years to get my adult daughter a life again: but she will not medicate. Good luck. I would suggest you donāt force your son to be with her if she is psychotic. It may be best to let them both be separate. I leave my daughter alone when she is too psychotic.
My son is schizoaffective and 32. He will not do anything except listen to music and use drugs. He also takes long walks. He hardly sleeps. Gets a shot but will not take any oral medications. He will not pick up his room, throw out garbage, take a shower, brush his teeth etc. Is this laziness? How should I deal with this in your opinion? I have been dealing with this the last two years and I have just about had it. He has been sick since 2009. He does not appreciate what he has in his life a roof, food, clothes, money, and people. His father is not in his life or his brotherās life. My family members donāt want him visiting them because of the drug use. Please reply and thanks!
Thank you. I will give it a try
my son did get evicted and got arrested. When he got out of jail he didnāt call anyone in the family and heās missing. the shelters wonāt give me info if heās there or not. I filed missing person report but donāt feel like the police are much help. Iām thinking of hiring a private investigator. heās been off meds for a few months and is 37 yrs old. anyone else been in the situation??
@oldladyblue re:medications
It has been a long journey for me. I was actually diagnosed as a teen but my mom threw me out of the house when I was 15, so of course I never followed up on treatment.
I had my own place with a bf at 16 and kept up with that and a child and job for 7 years until his abuse and lack of treatment caused a psychotic break. I āran awayā and ended up healing slowly on my own. I met my now husband a year later and when we had our first child I had post partum depression. I admitted I needed help and for years I was on antidepressants for what everyone thought was chronic depression.
I didnāt admit to hearing things and no one thought to ask about the crazy things I accused my husband of until 2017 when I had my third breakdown in my life. It was worse than the others and I ended up hospitalized. I admitted there about the teenage schizoaffective diagnosis. That change my teatment and the first day on The persons was really something. My mind was quiet for the first time in my life. I describe my brain as a computer with 20 browser tabs open and active with music playing and someone trying to have several conversations with me. Up until they put me on the persons I had never, ever had a moment where I could think of just 1 thing at a time.
My new psychiatrist changed my life even more by changing my meds to a long acting shot. I take Invega 234mg once a month and it is nice. I didnāt respond to a lower dose which was scary. He took me off Zoloft because I am a bipolar subtype and antidepressants make me fast cycle between depression and mania.
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I am sorry you are going through this. Hopefully at the hospital they will get your wife on a good system of medication. I can tell you from experience that once on a medication regimen that works it helps you see through the delusions.
It is very difficult and scary while sick. I know that I cycled through anger at my family and anguish that they would try to drive me crazy. It was so distressing and I totally believed they were out to get me. Now, looking back on what I said and did, I feel horrible. Was I really that person?
Be ready for anything from denial to profuse apologies. Denial because she wonāt want to believe she was that way and/or apologies because she feels awful for being what she will feel like is a monster.
In our situation - my son now medicated and well. We just say those things were in the past and leave it at that. That stopped his father from going on about this or that. I was like let it go. It happened and we go forward.
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It is and isnāt laziness. Part of the disease is symptoms That are called negatives which one is lack of motivation. Even on medication we can suffer from this. It is something I battle constantly. The only meds that help with this are stimulants and not everyone can tolerate them. I canāt get on them due to mania. I DO go against my psychiatrist and use caffeine tablets and energy drinks. My primary doctor let me try phentermine for weight loss and the body gets used to the effects in days, so the stimulant effect doesnāt work as well as caffeine.
Other than stimulants there is no known cure for negative symptoms. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
As for the drug useā¦schizophrenia is not an excuse for such behavior. This is where you need to put your foot down and say No Drugs or no home. It sucks to have to consider hospitalizing a loved one but how would you feel having cops come in and arrest him for drug use? There is a possibility of you getting in trouble for allowing it in your home. Stay firm on this because drugs are horrible for schizophrenia and can only increase symptoms.I am so sorry you are going through this.
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@JenJen
Actually I just had a sad end to such a situation. My father- not bio but thought he was and he was sad my whole life- was in and out of jail for drug use and selling. Back in 1999 I threw him off my farm because he was wandering around with a bottle of whisky and dead drunk.
A few days ago I finally found him online. It was a year old obituary. He had left NC and moved to Omaha. He was in a nursing home with throat cancer and died of pneumonia last July.
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