Hi, I am fairly new to this site and find it helpful. After his dad and I got divorced when he was 14, my son started heavy pot smoking and had awful high school years , suicide threats, missing school, and social withdrawal. After many horrible incidents he was finally diagnosed at 19 and is now 22. He has always lived with me and I am in a constant state of anxiety and sometimes depression. He is medicine compliant, but is not always doing good. Anyways, I am grateful to be able to be his caregiver, but many days I feel it is so hopeless and I am not coping well. I do have a part time job, but I always worry about him and feel I am not functioning well anymore. He has three older siblings, but the 2 brothers hardly bother with him and his sister tries, but has a busy life.His dad is an alcoholic and pretty much out of the picture. I am 60 and need some words of encouragement to forge on thru this unexpected journey of sz.
Hi Irene,
I’m glad you are here and posting.
Thank you for being here.
Irene, just know that you are not alone! Not that it makes it any better, but there are a lot of us out here, and we get it. We are there, or have been there. This is such a difficult journey that we are all going through so keep reaching out. Even if we can only tell you that we care. Do what you can to take care of yourself…not always easy I know, but so important. Come here and vent when you need to, and if you feel that you should, go get some help for yourself. I have just started counselling myself. hoping it helps as I have struggled too with anxiety and depression. Hard not to when you have been through this with someone that you love so much. Sending a warm hug your way Irene.
Leiann, Thanks for your reply. It really hit the spot after a long hard day of difficult times with my son. It is so encouraging to know that others have survived this. I don t feel strong enough for all this. I am grateful for your kind words and that I am finally have others who understand.
Thanks so much Hereandhere!
I know how it feels to get so anxious and depressed and be a caregiver, sometimes it is easy to lose sight of what you personally need to feel good about yourself and lift yourself up when you are so down.
If your son is not doing well on his current meds I would encourage you to insist that the psychiatrist work to either increase his dosages or try a new regiment to get a better outcome for your son. It is good to report every negative behavior to your son’s doctor so that he or she knows that he is not doing as well as maybe the doctor expected. If you are anything like me, you will feel at least somewhat better if your son is doing better.
Still you have to take the time whenever you can to do something that gives you joy-even for 15-30 minutes a day, it can be anything. It doesn’t have to be big or cost money. I do think if you can get away once in awhile NAMI offers a lot of support especially with their Family to Family classes, I took it 10 years ago and still interact with some of the moms today. Is there any kind of support for your son where you live?, like here in Ohio- the place my son goes to see his psychiatrist offers various groups like schizophrenia anonymous, depression support, DBT, and anxiety support groups, maybe your son and you could find other types of support somewhere in the community. It might sound silly but I use to love just going to the library for an hour here and there and for a time so did my son-today we really love to go for long walks in the local parks and the woods. Anyway welcome here, I hope things look up for you and your son very soon.
My son was 12 when his alcoholic father and I split. Lots of alienation, he still won’t talk with me. My son got half way through 10th grade and became psychotic. He is now 21 and I just got guardianship of him, as the last time he attacked me, he was taken to jail instead of the hospital. I heard he smoked spice. He has been living with me for 2+ years after I found him in a pitiful unmedicated state at his fathers filthy hovel. 2 weeks ago he decided to go back there. He is also medication compliant, but has been unstable. It is hard to manage his meds and diet from a distance, but I put a phone in the house (his dad mostly lives with girlfriend and sees him for a bit, once in a while), so I feel he is safer, but really isolated. He now refuses to go to his weekly group and managed the day program for 2 days a week for 2 weeks and was kicked out for not participating. His older half sister just had a baby and now wants nothing to do with him. So your story resonated with me darling! I am also 60, working 3 part-time jobs, doing school to become a certified aromatherapist and I suffer with fibromyalgia. So you are far from alone in your struggle. I am actually enjoying the break from him, gives me a chance to re-group and get some serenity going and maybe some sleep. I try to find the blessings in this - like it keeping me mindful, going with the flow and staying in the moment, like he always is. I am grateful he is not homeless, that he takes his meds and that he has medicaid and SSI. I am learning to care for myself better, cos when I don’t, it feels like everything is falling apart. I also get support at my local NAMI group and I pray a lot. Worry is draining, so make sure you do something that is good for you every day. Love to you G xoxox