I know how it feels to get so anxious and depressed and be a caregiver, sometimes it is easy to lose sight of what you personally need to feel good about yourself and lift yourself up when you are so down.
If your son is not doing well on his current meds I would encourage you to insist that the psychiatrist work to either increase his dosages or try a new regiment to get a better outcome for your son. It is good to report every negative behavior to your son's doctor so that he or she knows that he is not doing as well as maybe the doctor expected. If you are anything like me, you will feel at least somewhat better if your son is doing better.
Still you have to take the time whenever you can to do something that gives you joy-even for 15-30 minutes a day, it can be anything. It doesn't have to be big or cost money. I do think if you can get away once in awhile NAMI offers a lot of support especially with their Family to Family classes, I took it 10 years ago and still interact with some of the moms today. Is there any kind of support for your son where you live?, like here in Ohio- the place my son goes to see his psychiatrist offers various groups like schizophrenia anonymous, depression support, DBT, and anxiety support groups, maybe your son and you could find other types of support somewhere in the community. It might sound silly but I use to love just going to the library for an hour here and there and for a time so did my son-today we really love to go for long walks in the local parks and the woods. Anyway welcome here, I hope things look up for you and your son very soon.