How do I cope when son is frequently suicidal

My son is 28. He refuses to admit he has mental health issues. He blames me for the way he is.( We asked him to leave when he disrespected our home when he was 17/18) he says me making him homeless is the reason he’s so messed up. The reason he is like he is is because he started on drugs and crime at a young age. He refuses to accept responsibility for the way he is. He is constantly telling me indirectly that he’s going to take his life. I’m sick with worry. I’m Constantly on edge. My life revolves around him. My marriage is suffering. My work is suffering. My relationship with my other son is suffering. I live in constant fear that he will take his own life. He speaks to me like s**t. I put up with it because I love him. I cry all the time because of the helplessness I feel. My other son is heartbroken seeing me so upset all the time. All day today I have been called disgusting names and had to listen to his rants. I am broken. I do not know what to do

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@Mommamoore I’m sorry for the rough time you are going through with your son. Does he have a formal diagnosis? When he makes the threats on his life do you call the police or emergency so they can take him to the hospital for an evaluation? Hopefully, he can be seen soon and get treatment and on a medication that works for him.

It is very unhealthy for him to continually lash out at you. Do you have a therapist that you can talk to? That will probably help you take care of you. Also, please search for your local NAMI for support. Your spouse and other son if over 18 can attend the meetings for support. It’s easy for our loved ones issues to overwhelm us and takeover our lives but then we aren’t taking care of ourselves like we should. I hope things improve for you.