Hi new user and first time in a support group. My boyfriend suffers with schozophrenia and is currently feeling unwell. He says it will past. Im just looking for advice. I myself suffer with anxiety and depression and unserstand certain things hes going through but not the full extent. I want to help but i dont know how. As weve just recently moved in together this is my first time seeing the full extent of what its like when hes not well. I really need advice please
@Cjmurphy Welcome to the group! I am sorry to hear that your boyfriend is feeling unwell. You didn’t mention if he is under a psychiatrists’ care and taking prescribed medication. If he is then he definitely needs to go back and let the doctor know he is not feeling well and see if his meds can be adjusted or changed. If he is not getting care then that would be the first step, getting good care and treatment consistently is the only way that I have found to reach lasting stability. It would probably be a good idea that you get good care for yourself as well since you already know that you are affected by anxiety and depression and since you want to help your boyfriend, you can only do that if you remain well and strong yourself. I would recommend contacting your local NAMI chapter (if there is one near you) and seeing if they are holding any Family to Family classes (which are free) they are a comprehensive education in mental illness for caregivers. I found the lessons invaluable and I met a lot of people like myself. In the meantime there are a lot of great people here with a lot of experience and some informative stories. You can learn a lot here too. My best to you. http://www.nami.org/
I give the same advice to you that I gave to her:
Feel free to go through all my posts, I just really hate having to write the same thing again. Copy and paste works too, but this is more simple. >.<
Also, greetings and salutations, welcome!
You are a strong person and obviously a caring one. My 21yo son always had girlfriends in high school but that seems to have shifted and he hasn’t dated in 3 yrs BC I think he’s afraid of how he’ll come across. They don’t always read emotional clues correctly and the stress of trying to please others can be overwhelming I agree with others saying to encourage him to see his dr or find one if he is currently not going. I go with my son when possible. The drs need to know the people involved in these peoples lives. They go thru rough periods but then can be symptom free for a time. I hope you can help each other.
Thanks for the advice… hes agreed to see the doctor and is allowing me to go with him. Im hoping that its just the big change of moving out that has him anxious and will pass. I know he finds change hard. He takes his tablets like clock work and theyve worked for so long so fingers crossed its just a lil bump in the road. I really appreciate you all taking the time to help
Your son will find someone whos understanding. I didnt know about his condition until months into the relationship because he was scared how id react but once he told me i understood his actions a bit better and my feelings never changed. I fell in love with who he was before i knew his condition and his condition is part of who he is. And were still together over 4 years later. Your son will meet someone who will love him the way he is and i hope someday he’ll see that for himself
That is great, I’m so glad to hear that!!
I have a question, how long have you guys been together? What’s it like to be with someone who has this an ex of mine has it now we want to be together, but his family won’t let me see him. Can you tell me something’s about this?
Me? For 2 years. It’s a nightmare, completely disastrous and exhausting if left untreated or if they don’t take the right medications. Abusive. He’s currently in the hospital right now and gosh am I thankful that they’re keeping him there longer. I love him, but I really need a break.
I’m not so sure this is the best place to get advice on here about this subject. I expect you to hear a lot of negative stuff. For one thing most of the people that come on here are having problems with their kids, spouse, or friend with schizophrenia. I can tell you that a lot of people with schizophrenia are single. Only about 20 percent are married. While a lot of people with schizophrenia may not be good in a relationship it doesn’t mean that things can’t work out especially if the medication is working for him.
I’m not sure why you stay in this relationship?