Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Information needed


#1

My 21 year old daughter has been dating a boy that I found out has Schizophrenia, he is a very loving and nice young man but I fear that with all the issues he has it is not a future my daughter will be happy with for a long term , but with that being said I don’t have enough information about his disease to judge him . He hates his meds and when doesn’t take them has very weird episodes . I fear that if the relaionships goes on she is in for a hard life . My big question is if this young man gets the right meds will he be able to lead a normal life and have a family of his own? He does not have his license as his parents don’t want him to have access to a car when he has an episode . I really need more information and advice .


#2

i would force my daughter to broke up with him if i were you. schizophrenics even with meds cant lead a normal life. they spend their lives dependant on others no jop nothing.


#3

Can’t really force her to break up with him , she is 21 . He treats her the best of any boyfriend she has ever had , I was afaird I would get an answer like this but hope someone would help me understand the disease as I know and hope there is help for him to have a normal life with her


#4

if he is good with her and he treats her well then no problem. maybe with meds he could take care of himself as well as herself. hopefully things get much better between them.


#5

Dude, there is always a way to go on a better medicine and you should teach this young man that he should take medicine and if he doesn’t like it deal with it till he gets on a new medication regimen.

As for trying to break up a relationship, I think that’s the most horrible thing for a parent to do based entirely on mental illness.


#6

Please speak for yourself. I am leading a normal life, or at the very least, a productive one. I’m married. I’m a parent. I’m employed. I’m a contributing member of my community. (And, yes, I’m med compliant.) I know many other diagnosed schizophrenics who I can say the same of. I am tired of being painted again and again with the same negative brush.

10-96


#7

Paint a picture or look through a window???


#8

Hi there,

I think it’s wonderful you are seeking out information and not just rushing to judgment.

Everyone with sz is different. My daughter has a boyfriend with sz. He is totally different than her, and I think very good for her. Many people live with a high degree of functionality, especially considering what the illness can do. Others do not function well-and by function I mainly mean their ability to take care of themselves. As time goes on you will have to judge your daughter’s boyfriend like any other boyfriend-wait, watch, evaluate it.

Med compliance makes a big difference. My daughter functions well on meds. No one meeting her would know she has sz on her medications. However, there are certain things right now she can’t do, and I don’t know yet if she will ever be able to do or not. It’s like any other disability that way-a brain injury, autism, or even a physical disability-there may be some limitations. Some people learn to adapt the these limitations, work around them. Some people don’t.

Could he live a normal life? Yes, that is entirely possible. Many with sz even rear children. But episodes can happen in the future, even with med compliance and with someone doing well. They are hell-I won’t lie-but someone who loves someone with sz learns to deal with them if or when they happen.

Your daughter’s life may be harder in certain ways-even assuming the best case scenario with sz. But, even if she married anyone-that can still happen. Partners, bfs, spouses could get injured and get disabilities, all kinds of unexpected things can happen in life can make life hard. I don’t think we can shield ourselves or our children from that possibility.

There are a lot of unknowns about loving someone with sz. That is probably the hardest part. I don’t know what the relationship with this young man would hold for your daughter.

Do you have any other questions? I feel like I’m not helpful…


#9

i was talking about the majority of schizophrenics including myself not you. and i didnt say that psychiatrists said that. read any article about schizophrenia and you will find the same thing i have said.


#10

I believe in judging people on their individual worth and contributions. Everyone has something to offer to the world, but not everyone has figured out how to do so.

10-96


#11

This made my day . Thank you so much . I will be showing this to her father . I do love this boy and pray all his problems work there way out and with support from both sides of this family it will help him . I’m just trying to get educated


#12

Trying to educated myself as a parent . Thanks


#13

Your daughter and her boyfriend is lucky you have an open mind. There’s a lot of information on this site. Let us know if you think of other questions. My daughter has had this illness for several years now. It’s not easy, but I have a lot of hope for her future. Many people I have seen on this forum that fought for a good life give me hope too, such as Pixel. I have nothing but admiration and compassion for what they struggle through, and they can persevere.


#14

I’m feeling much better now and will continue to read . I will not give up on there relaionship as my daughter has shown me what unconditional love Turly is


#15

I agree that a parent stands to lose much and gain little to try to break up the relationship based on someone’s mental illness.


#16

Welcome to the forum @iforget12

Learning about schizophrenia is certainly a great place to start in helping your daughter and you to understand what her BF is going through.

Please look at these sites:
http://www.leapinstitute.org/ - under resources are free videos on using LEAP
LEAP is a way of communicating to build trust. Listen-Empathize-Agree-Partner.

http://dramador.com/ - Dr. Xavier Amador is a clinical psychologist whose brother had schizophrenia. He is the founder of the LEAP Institute. Wrote the book: I’m Not Sick I Don’t Need Help! Can buy from his website.
Search Xavier Amador and LEAP on youtube.com and you should find some long videos

http://www.treatmentadvocacycenter.org/index.php - under problems you will see anosognosia
Anosognosia looks like denial but is different.

http://lesswrong.com/lw/e25/bayes_for_schizophrenics_reasoning_in_delusional/ - helped my understand delusions

http://www.nami.org/ - National Alliance on Mental Illness.
http://www.schizophrenia.ca/ - Schizophrenia Society of Canada

Can also find some very useful information here:
http://schizophrenia.com/

Also understanding what procedures are recommended during an episode or psychosis is probably not a bad idea if he is going to not be medication compliant (take meds as prescribed). This can be found under First Aid for Psychosis or here: http://www.schizophrenia.com/sznews/archives/005561.html

It sounds like he is a great boy and hopefully with your daughters and your support… Wishing you all nothing but the best.


#17

Yes, I completely agree with Pixel. He may be a very good partner, and like any other human being, love and support is likely to bring out the best in him and motivate him more.


#18

i have been married for 23 years, but it has been at times a bumpy ride for mrs.sith…
but we make it work.
i still work
i have a healthy life style
i am a kinder person because of my sz
take care


#19

If he is responsible and stays on his med’s he should be okay. Personally, I’ve always harbored a resentment against my med’s because they weaken me dramatically. I think a lot of sz’s resent the med’s for that and other reasons. It is easy to start to see the med’s as punishment and not therapy. I know I have to stay on my med’s, though.


#20

Hello and welcome here. Education is a great start to learn to understand him. If meds have too much side effects there are lots and lots more to try out.

I am married since 2001. I got ill in 2010. I have kids. My husband had a hard time when I went a bit nutty and ended up in hospital. There I got meds, I’ve been on meds since then. Tried to stop twice, almost hospitalized again. Staying on meds is very important so he does not have another episode. It takes time to recover from episodes, cognitive faliure, memory loss, confusion are my problems after an episode. I don’t want that again. Not now that I’ve gotten so far. I am almost the same as before I got ill.