Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Boyfriend won't receive help!

I’m writing about my boyfriend, we have children together and last year he started acting differently. We don’t have a diagnosis, but anyone with sense can see something is not right. He’s always been a tech savvy kind of guy and at first I didn’t think anything of it. He said someone was hacking his phone, shortly lead to him believing our home was being tapped into, people watching us, ect… He began recording and video taping everyone in secret at first, his suspicions grew bigger and bigger. He can’t hold a job, he can’t make friends and now doesn’t have any after accussing them of being apart of hacking him. It’s ruined our relationship and I will be looking for a new life with me and the kids soon. I feel guilty, but it’s effecting my own mental health. I’ve wrestled him to the ground for his own safety, I’ve tried to help him seek treatment, I’ve tried to help him see clearly, but he doesn’t think anything is wrong and now strongly believes that I am trying to hurt him and apart of a conspiracy. It’s a fight daily, as he doesn’t trust me to even go to the grocery store.

I know that was a lot!! I’m sorry if it’s a bit all over the place, I’m just at my end. I don’t know how to get him to seek treatment. I don’t know what’s going to happen to him once I take the children and move. I don’t want to take them from him completely, but right now I believe it would be best, especially for our oldest. How do you convince someone who believes nothing is wrong to get help?!

Welcome to the forum. Feelings of paranoia like this is common with schizophrenia and other mental illnesses. So is the feeling that they are not sick. I really recommend a book by Xavier Amador called I Am Not Sick I Don’t Need Help. It deals with the lack of insight common with mental illness and how to talk to them about getting help using listening, empathy, finding areas that you can agree on, and partnering on a solution. It also deals with involuntary commitment if necessary.

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I agree that Amador’s book is a great tool, but it has to be read (which takes a while) and the techniques applied over time for a positive result. It sounds as if Parker is in a desperate situation right now and won’t have time to read or apply the principles of the book, although that can happen in the future, obviously. If his behavior is affecting the children and the paranoia is so great that the family cannot function as normal, Parker is looking at an emergency situation.

Although you are probably busy as it is, Parker, I would suggest getting in touch with NAMI, seeing if there is a crisis unit in your local police force or contacting a therapist. Reach out to whoever you think might be able to help and if they can’t, they might be able to make suggestions to you.

My heart goes out to you. Many of us on the forum have had similar situations. Please don’t neglect your own health or the health of your children and don’t feel guilty if you have to leave. Paranoia can be too much, sometimes.

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Hello Parker,
So sorry to hear about your partner. Do you have family that can help talk to your boyfriend? It may be best to take the kids to a friend or families home. It is hard to talk to someone who is having some thought problems. I would call his doctor or a crisis center and seek advice about getting him help.
Always be safe, AnnieNorCal

Sorry you guys are going through this , I too went through a similar thing. It’s a long road, but it starts with him accepting he needs to see a doctor and get a diagnosis and receive the help now. Please know this will not be easy at all , but you are in my heart! :heart:

sorry to hear about your boyfriend, it just the beginning of difficult, COME ON!!!