Hello, new here. My brother, 34, was diagnosed with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder about 2 years ago. Everything seemed to be going well for him in his early 20s and then in about his mid 20s he started to have trouble keeping a job, making accusations about family members and co workers plotting against him. There was a lot of self medicating with marijuana. I help with him when my mom asks, but other than that i keep my distance from my brother. At this point he has been off his meds for over a month. He cant stay with my parents because he seems to aim a lot of his aggression towards our step father when he does get aggressive. I try to limit how much my children are exposed to him because the last time my girls were around him he lost it and almost ran his own son over with his vehicle before smashing it into a tree. Scared my girls to death and i try to protect them from seeing anything like that again. The new thing he has started doing lately is saying that our step dad raped me in a fear illusion. That i said our step dad did this twice. That because i said this his voice and ears have been embedded. I have communicated to my brother this isnt something i have ever said and he really needs to be back on his meds. I dont know if i was wrong for correcting him for saying things that aren’t true. I felt it important to communicate it wasnt true because now he has called our step dad a child molester and accused him of doing something to my 3 children and my 2 newphews and 1 niece. My step dad has never been inappropriate with anyone in our family but my brother is convinced that he has been.
Yikes! Sorry for your pain and welcome to our community. Any choice you make must first be true for you. Meaning, you must follow your heart in protecting your children and yourself. And correcting such a serious accusation against your step-father seems the right thing to do.
Perhaps there will be replies that suggest: “You shouldn’t have corrected him!” Or “It’s wrong and harmful to withhold family relationships with nieces!” But that’s all horseshit. And any long term member will affirm and commend you.
My only suggestion is to let LOVE be your guide. Not fear. Not self-interests. But LOVE. What is the loving response? What does love require of me in this relationship? Does loving in a certain way put others at risk of harm?
Those questions only you can answer. But when you can answer from a sincere foundation of love, you can have peace.
It sounds to me like you are doing the best you can. If you haven’t heard of it, I Am Not Sick, I Don’t Need Help! How to Help Someone Accept Treatment might give you some ideas about how to cope until he starts taking meds again.