Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Medication and Treatment Refusal

I have been reading many people’s comments and experiences here and am learning so much. It is very helpful. I do see many people’s loved ones will occasionally seek help and sometimes try medication, but was wondering what some of you are doing when they absolutely refuse any help and accuse you of being a drug pusher? He has had paranoia problems for several years now and had been working up until one year ago and things went bad very, very quickly. His anger and abuse is escalating very fast and he is demanding a large sum of money to move away and says he will never see us again. I, of course, know that he will blow through this money and come back in a few years for more. It is very much like the Prodigal son. I feel like we would be irresponsible to do this and he is threatening to sue us. I do know he would be unsuccessful because anyone will see immediately that he has severe mental problems.

His level of hate at his dad and I is growing and he telling us to tie a millstone around our neck and drown ourselves (from scripture about people who hurt children), and that we will be punished in hell, etc. He calls us horrible names of profanity and has an obsession with hating homosexuals. He thinks the majority of people are pedophiles and is accusing us of the same. I think it helps him justify his hate for us or something. He calls us the slurs for homosexuals, accuses of us of ridiculous sexual behavior, etc. It is very unsettling that he thinks on this so much. I am concerned that due to his increasing rants and accusations that he could harm us. He doesnt live with us, we provide his arrangements in his own home. That is the money he wants us to give him.

Have any of you experienced these same thoughts or behaviors with your loved ones?

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Hi Trixe12, this is some additional information from a previous post I saw, and thank you for sharing your story. I’m assuming you live in the United States, so I’ll respond that way - but if you live elsewhere, please take the thoughts below with a grain of salt

If you are feeling threatened and/or your brother is threatening his own life, I would take it seriously, and you may consider 1) finding a good mental health facility in your area and 2) finding the crisis number in your area so that you have people experienced with mental health be the ones to take him to that facility.

When we Baker Acted my brother (which is what this process is called), we just called the police and naively believed that a random 72-hour holding facility would properly diagnose my brother. Nope. Amador’s book has good tips on how to do it better. I don’t think we did it with the right information, the right facility, or the right amount of time. I also don’t think - realistically, that we could have gotten him on meds at that time. I wish I’d read that book before we called anyone. At minimum, I wish that we’d managed to get actual diagnoses out of his hold. It would help to have that information.

Please take your feelings of unease seriously and have him put on a hold if things are getting dicey. I have a friend whose brother murdered their father and stepbrother during his psychotic break.

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It does sound as if he could harm you. The least that you should do is to take measures to protect yourselves, such as installing an alarm system and purchasing non-lethal deterrents, such as pepper spray and perhaps even a taser. If possible, a dog would also be a good idea, to alert you when someone approaches your home. Please also document your interactions with your son via a phone recording device or even a doorbell camera, if applicable, as you might need evidence of his paranoia to convince providers to take your concerns seriously.

His level of hatred of homosexuals and perception of others as pedophiles is worrisome, as well. If he has a doctor, please make that person aware of these obsessions.

OMG! I think I could have written this myself. Going through the same things! I am also floundering around. Not looking forward to spending the holidays with my son at all. I am sorry that you are going through this. I wish I had the answers for you, but I haven’t found them yet. Just keep venting here, it does help. I also walk away, usually drive away and do some yelling and screaming and crying in my car! After a bit I feel better able to deal with the situation. Good luck to you.

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I’ve done the Car thing also many times. The last time I parked away from everyone at a rest stop just outside of town. And wouldn’t you know it a very nice person knocked on my window and asked if I was okay. I thought of sharing everything but instead just said, I was just stressed out and thank you. I know at that moment if I started saying everything that was going on in my head they would have been calling the cops or ambulance one me. LOL
Its funny now looking back on it.

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