Hi, I’m desperately trying to find a way to help a long time dear friend. Several years ago she called me claiming she’d been suffering from PTSD from new “memories” that had surfaced. These memories included: being trained as a child by the mafia to be a hitman, being forced to kill someone and being drowned during said training, friends from our childhood being apart of said mafia—a few currently being employed as hitmen, and that almost every man close to her or her family were either child molesters or rapists. Many people ignored the mafia claims but none could ignore the allegations of child molestation and/or rape. She has now pushed away every person that has cared for her and will not allow any family to see her daughter. It is her daughter I am extremely concerned about!
Her daughter is now 7 years old and hasn’t been in school for 1 ½ years. She claims she home schools her but after spending several days with them it is clear that the bare minimum is being done. Her daughter is barely literate, spends all day/night playing by herself on a computer, has little to no social skills, rarely plays with kids her age, and hasn’t been taught the basics: aka how to prepare herself snacks, clean up after herself, how to bathe & dress, respectful language and communication, etc. Her basic needs (clothing, shelter and food) are being met but that is about it. Her daughter is still young but it is clear there needs to be some sort of intervention before developmental issues occur.
My friend’s delusions seems to be subsiding, or rather, the delusions have now shifted to an obsessive preoccupation of (consensual) sex. She still believes that certain close family members have sexually abused her daughter but she has changed her story about other friends. In particular, 4 years ago she claimed a longtime friend had molested her daughter, then the story shifted that he had raped her. The current belief is that they dated in Junior High and that she took his virginity. She followed this up by saying “I had a lot of sex then.” I have known her since High School and know for a fact that she was not sexually active as a child and did not ever have sex with said friend. It is a bit of a relief that her delusions have shifted from rape and abuse to consensual sex; however, it is taking over her life. She continually discusses (in front of her daughter) how every man she encounters wants to have sex with her and that she really should have had sex with this person and that person when she had the chance. It seems any man that is nice to her she thinks is trying to sleep with her. This is followed up with all women being jealous or being mean to her.
At this point she has NO support system whatsoever. She will not talk to either parents or her sister (all of whom are child molesters or their partners are). Most of her friends are no longer in contact. She hasn’t and won’t seek help. Originally she said she couldn’t get help because the mafia would find out and hurt/kill her and/or her daughter. Currently she doesn’t see these “memories” or this lifestyle as problematic. She has never been diagnosed or treated. We think she is aware that something is amiss but she is deathly afraid her daughter will be taken away from her.
Two years ago I spoke with a Clinical Psychologist (and friend). She was extremely concerned by her behavior and told me to call CPS. CPS has already been to check on her daughter 3 times but since the basic needs are all being met there’s nothing they can do. Also, when meeting my friend she does not show signs of mental illness. I’m a writing here with hopes someone may be able to recommend a course of action in the state of California that can help her get the help she needs. Also, any stories about similar experiences or helpful bits that could lead us towards a better future is greatly appreciated!! PLEASE do not refer a book to me. I do not have enough regular interactions and will be living out of the country for most of 2016. I am completely heartbroken watching this little girl living in poverty, without friends or family, getting close to no education, and listening to her mom obsess over sex, rape and molestation.