Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Caregiver burnout and resentment

I have been stressed out for many years. I have a sibling with the disease and they are hard to live with. They do well socially, but act differently at home. They are almost in a catatonic state. They hardly speak and I have to ask them questions multiple times. Sometimes I get upset and angry because they seem to act well as soon as other people are around. In social situations they know how to phrase things almost to always be the victim so people try to protect them from me. I get harassed by people shaming me for some outbursts I have with them. Yes, they ask me repetitive questions, and treat others better than me. They don’t seem to have any respect for me even when I do almost all the housework, and comfort them etc. There are other multiple issues, like they treat me like their servant, and it has been over a decade. I even had a social worker imply I look like I am with the illness just based on my appearance and praise my sibling… I am always on edge. I find I hate everyone and don’t know what to do about it.

Do you have responsibility of your siblings? If you can find a NAMI support group in area , you should go to one.

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unfortunately you must learn to blow it off like it never happens or move away as it will most likely never change.

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@Lark Is your sibling on medication or in any way under the care of a doctor? Disabled and receive SSI or SSDI benefits?

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I will try going to Nami meeting but I feel embarrassed. I’ve heard myself get upset and I don’t make too much sense.

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Thank you GSSP, it’s hard to blow it off. I don’t feel very confident these days.

@hope4us They are on medication and working on getting benefits.

I feel like I am losing my mind. Should I take medication for this anxiety or should I try some other treatments? They are always having to pretend they meant well with every action but it is exhausting. They always act like they have the sanest reasons in the world. They are not always showing signs of sz but they act insensitively towards me and only relate to others. They never admit their mistakes or seem to feel guilt.

@Lark These are topics where a face-to-face support group can be very helpful. NAMI folks understand shock, anger, tears, frustration, lack of hope…However, they work through those things by using shared experiences and knowledge. One of the dozen or so NAMI Principles of Support is “We have hope for a better future.” Also, “We cannot solve all problems.” You do not need to feel embarrassed because WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE. You already have a plus because your sibling is medication-compliant, apparently. That is HUGE! However, it seems the medication is not working very well. Have you tried talking to the person’s doctor about that? Getting SSI/SSDI will also help, at least financially. Also, the people who are not treating you well are extremely unknowledgeable or inconsiderate. You love your sibling and want to do what is best for him/her but you must also take care of yourself. My suggestion is to work on a better medication or dosage and get support for yourself (therapy and/or medication if warranted is OK, too) so that you can best help your sibling. Try the support group. I hope there is one near you!

Hi @Lark, it’s ok to feel embarrassed, and you can always listen and observe during the NAMI meeting; no need to talk. The main thing is to find some support and learn about mental illness. The NAMI instructors will be able to provide information on additional resources for you in your community.

Also, can you see a therapist? Or talk to a sympathetic family member? I’ve attended a 10-week NAMI course and seen therapists. It’s helped alot! I