We are switching From Plans TO Hopes…
Future Plans is a hot button and has been for the past few months. So much future changing stuff has been happening and plans that I had no knowledge of have been bubbling up since all these pre-made plans are going out everyones window.
My parents were sure that I would live close and always need a lot of help. So they were prepared to take me on and even have me live back home again if I ever needed. My old airstream trailer is still in their back yard. I told them they could sell it. They said,“But you’ll be moving back home someday, that’s what we planned.”
(I love my parents, we get along very well. No offense to them, but I’m not planning that.)
My Sis was a true surprise as far as her future plans for me. She was going to work and I was going to do my part time job and then sit passively and just breathe in a stress free environment with nothing to worry about, or even think about. (I left group homes for a reason) I find her plans frighteningly dull. I hope for more then that.
She had everything written down as future plans. It’s was surprisingly tightly scripted. She had my future written down to the penny. (I believe 9 years from now on a Tuesday, my dinner might be delayed by 10 minutes due to traffic jam on I-5. )
So here I am, trying to make plans for my future for me and it doesn’t match her plans for me and there has been a little odd conversation about that. I admit, the brother/sister team has felt a rift on this issue.
She hadn’t planned for me to make my own plans. She’s not sure how to switch from Plans to hopes. (It’s like gearing down from over drive to neutral)
I sort of pressed her… "What do you hope for me."
She said, "I hope you get better and get to be happy"
I had to say it, "I am better and I am happy so what are your hopes now?"
She can’t answer.
I know everyone always plans for the worst and the relapse. That makes sense. But does anyone ever plan for the better? What would happen if your loved one was doing well enough that the entire dynamic of your relationship changed again?
We’re trying to get the focus off of plans an on to hopes.