Hope on the Horizon and Advice on a question

Family
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Hello everyone I thought I would give an update as I know we wonder about one another.

Well my husband is still inpatient thank goodness and I have pushed and his social worker has pushed for a longer stay.

He started to present well and I got worried we were in for another turn on the revolving door.

Luckily for me and ultimately him of course he cheeked his meds last night and today. Or tried to rather. Right away with the manipulation on his part undeniably in their faces they told him they were going to try to keep him for up to 180 days.

Now I truly donā€™t know if this is the case bc his social worker was technically off today for the holiday. But apparently she was in for a bit today and I wonder if it was to advocate for his stay to be longer as she said she was going to.

Sheā€™s off on Tuesdays every week so I know I wonā€™t hear from her tomm but she did promise me that the other social worker working tomm would be calling me with an update.

His 72 hours of involuntary hold ends in another couple of hours and the discharge process takes about 24 hours so I feel somewhat confident that they really are taking him to court on Wednesday afternoon.

I just really need to hear it from them. the not knowing is causing me a tremendous amount of anxiety.

I spoke to him this evening and heā€™s determined to get the psych to let him come home tomm and Iā€™m sure heā€™s probably not going to but considering how many times they have let him out recently I canā€™t help but feel anxious.

I need it to be Wednesday afternoon around 430 so I know if this place is going to keep him for a nice long stay or what. I canā€™t make backup plans with knowing a little bit which way the wind will blow.

Iā€™m scared to let myself feel relieved if itā€™s all going to start again.

Now for the advice from people that have been in my shoes.

I went to visit him today. He shockingly informed me that a very friendly nurse gave him the number to some religious zealot he had met with a few times and disliked when he was not psychotic.

A man who believe he saved our city from a hurricane recently by praying and chanting.

This is who his nurse puts my husband in contact with. My psychotic husband who has a history of religious obsession while psychotic which they are aware of.

The last thing he needs is some idiot visiting him who tells him to pray the symptoms away you know???

And yes he asked him to come visit bc heā€™s not in his right mind.

Apparently as proxy I can prevent that and will obviously do so but now my husband will see that as I am treating him like a child and controlling him and denying him something he wants.

This dumb nurse just made my life harder and possibly complicated my husbands recovery.

She obviously doesnā€™t understand boundaries and how do I know she wonā€™t do other inappropriate things or say inappropriate things to him or even other patients?

I think she might say some thing to him along the lines of ā€œyour wife complained about me giving you this guys numberā€

She was audacious enough to come up to our table during the visit and tell me about it as well and when I gave her quite a few looks and did not smile about it nor act receptive towards her dumb action she even became a little defensive and told me ā€œheā€™s a nice guy heā€™s my neighborā€ IS SHE FOR REAL WHO THE F Are U AND YOUR NEIGHBOR like I donā€™t know you from Joe all I know is you made a huge mistake messing with my husbands recovery I donā€™t know you I donā€™t trust you now that I see you are doing questionable things on the unit. How could this have happened?? She put a wrench in the situation and I really resent that. Now I have to approve his guest list and Iā€™ll have to see if I can have a phone call list of approved family only. Great. This never needed to happen Iā€™m pissed as hell.

Any advice on this bull?

Thanks in advance.

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I had SO Much trouble with interference of various people that had no clue what my son or I was dealing with and in one case it was a crazy ex girlfriend (not the nice crazy one I described in an earlier post) but a really nefarious one that was always trying to coax my son to find money to give to her and who said that his illness was a ā€œcop outā€ and nothing to be believed and she verbally abused him. In that case I had to make sure she was never on his call or visit list, and we also had to change our home number several times and moved a couple of times and after many hang ups and demands for them to stop they finally did. It was really a horrible situation that fell on my shoulders because my son was never able to say no or not reply or draw a boundary. You have every right to set any limitations that will work for the best for you and your husband. I am so sorry that you had an ā€˜idiotā€™ interfere, I know what it feels like, I would report her to her supervisor, she should know not to make those kind of specific inferences to someone with mental instability. Itā€™s not helpful in anyway. I hope things work out.

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I think you did the right thing. Minimize contact with her but definitely report her to supervisor. Iā€™m sorry you are going through this. Try to get a rest too. It sounds like you are covering your bases well. Great job!

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Thank you so much. I made that minor complaint but my mom advised me not to do anything too major while heā€™s in there.

Heā€™s been inpatient for about 18 days and after the first few days of meds began to say good things and he seems to have cleared up a little bit. I donā€™t know. Itā€™s very confusing. The poor thing is distraught and so emotional it hurts me terribly when I see him that way. Itā€™s heartbreaking to the worst degree. For me at least.

He is supposed to have court tomm. He called me and said that the doctors offered him a sort of deal, if he takes he once a month shots, they will let him come home.

But if he goes off them and ends up back there one more time, they are going to full on press the 180 days they were threatening him with this time, but to be in a state hospital.

My husband is terrified of this other outcome but I still canā€™t help but fear things.

I suppose he wonā€™t come until heā€™s had the shot, but what if he changes his mind ? Iā€™m so scared for him. Instead of threatening him with the 6monts why donā€™t hey just do it and get it over with? Do they take to the shots after one month?

In so scared itā€™s all going to happen again. I was just starting to heal a bit.

Sorry for the delay in update, I kept meaning to come on but there wasnā€™t much to say really until today.

Peace and love

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I think the court threatens that so that they will stay on the shot and if you look at some of the posts here in history that has worked for some individuals. I donā€™t have a history of enforcing that though so maybe somebody else can champion. I donā€™t know if the caregiver has to let the court know that heā€™s not taking the medicines or if they just leave it up to whoever. In a group home they would enforce it and it and thatā€™s one reason I think that might be better than me. Of course I have a lot of fear in that decision. Iā€™m the Calm one in the family so a lot of that falls on me. My husband does try to help with the meds but we just have not been able to get him to take them. We think heā€™s taking them but we later find them on the floor or across the room.

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When they started my son on the shots, they told him heā€™d get out of the hospital sooner if he took them.

Then, when he got out, he said he wasnā€™t going to take any more of them.
His case manager somehow convinced him to keep getting them.

However, Iā€™m finding out that you need to keep a close eye on the dosage. I trusted my sonā€™s medical team because they kept telling me to be patient when he started to have break-through symptoms. Now, heā€™s back in the hospital.

I still like the shot, so Iā€™m hoping a dosage change fixes him up, but itā€™s sad that he trusted them, did everything he was supposed to, and heā€™s back just as if he didnā€™t do anything at all.

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Good morning

Slw,

Thank you for that extremely valuable advice bc I was going to kind of sit back and let things unfold but I see I need to be very well informed about the shots also.

I will closely monitor his behavior but itā€™s so hard bc he hates ā€œthe way I look at himā€ sometimes and I know itā€™s bc Iā€™m observing obviously :roll_eyes:

I am so nervous about today I woke up at 330 in the morning and couldnā€™t fall back asleep.

I felt quite calm and secure for myself and my hubs while he was inpatient I know it canā€™t always be like that I just wish he was a bit more stable I really donā€™t understand making threats to someone so sick.

Oh well if itā€™s happening I will deal.

Iā€™ll def give an update if things happen.

Once again thank you all

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I donā€™t think you need to ā€œobserveā€ him.
Just relax and treat him like you would a normal person.

If the shots arenā€™t working, itā€™ll be obvious.

Everyoneā€™s different. Lots of people here report slow, steady improvement over months. In fact, they told me to give it at least 6 months.

However, in my sonā€™s case, he was dramatically better in just a week. Then, the mild delusions he came home with were pretty much gone in another week. We had the next two weeks where he was anxious, but he had some good motivation, he wasnā€™t talking about anything bizarre, and things seemed very promising.

Then, the delusions started to come back about a week before his next shot. I wasnā€™t overly concerned because people said that the shots often give out in that last week, and to expect some ups and downs.

I held to that even when he didnā€™t get the same relief from the next shot - the first one outside the hospital. Unfortunately, he seems to need a higher dosage and to get it more often, so weā€™ll see how it goes this time.