Caregiver plans for the day

I decided to borrow an idea from the diagnosed category and start a thread on what us caregivers are planning for the day. I’m hoping this will create some more interaction as I have not been noticing much activity in this category and I miss you guys. I want to know that you are still around and how things are going.

Today I got up with my hubby at 5
Uploaded chapter 12 to my tumblr
Did the dishes, made my bed and got dressed
Dyed my hair. Wow am I grey… My hubby has been doing it for me lately so I haven’t looked that close in a long time.
Discussed with my son that we are not taking a possible 2-3 hours transit trek each way to get a play station 4
Have to call and refill hubby’s prescription and do my little 10 minute workout
See if I can motivate my son to either have a shower or do a load of laundry
Need to go to the corner store for coffee cream. The short walk will be good for me and my son.
Cook dinner
Currently watching a video by Andrew Solomon for TED on depression
Started putting together a glossary/dictionary for my book since my daughter told me I needed one that she couldn’t understand most of the words.


Up before 5 this morning. Had to get my hubby up. He was tired as he had gotten up at 2 am to do his second job which is snow plowing but thankfully there wasn’t enough snow so he got to go back to bed and go to his every day job this morning.

Gave in to getting my son his play station 4 yesterday. It’s his 20th birthday on Saturday and he has been calling every store every day since last week to find out when their shipments are coming in and if they have any still in stock. The Future Shop 8 minutes drive from us had 3 when he called so we cabbed there. Got the last one. After him putting in so much effort and looking forward to having one I just couldn’t say no… Plus I’m hoping it will keep him away from next door a little bit until the PACT Team can start getting him out more.

My daughter called me yesterday… She doesn’t want to graduate, grow up and be an adult. Wants to move back with me but doesn’t want to leave the boyfriend. I think I helped calm her down over some school issues and a teacher that thinks she was getting attitude from my daughter. You have to know my daughter. When she thinks she is being unfairly judged… it can certainly look like attitude.

Needless to say in my son’s excitement over the play station he didn’t have a shower so that is back on the agenda for today. He knows that he needs one so hopefully it will happen today.

Not much on the agenda for me today. Dishes, make bed, get dressed, do my 10 minutes of stretching and exercising and work on my glossary. Maybe go pick up hubby’s prescription if it’s not to cold out.

Coincidentally, we got our son a PS3 for Christmas and he loves it. We had thought we all could play with him online, but the school he is attending has blocked online gaming. But he loves playing Grand Tourino; he says it calms his mind. I’m sure it does. I’m glad you decided to get the PS4 for your son. You are right that it will help him stay away from the influence of the fellow across the hall.

I can’t believe you’re really interested in my day, but here goes.


Got up at 7. Made coffee, checked temperature (minus 4). Husband had been up at 4 with the stoves, so he slept. Got the porch stove giving off heat, and headed out to feed chickens and horses.

We drank coffee, listened to the news by the fire. (Best part of the day)

Husband took the dogs for a walk and I set about cleaning, which really needed to happen. I let the horses out and cleaned the stalls. We ate breakfast when he came back.

I got on the computer around 11:30 and chatted with my son…I usually do that since it’s his lunch hour, although lately sometimes he is playing video games. Not so yesterday, as he is quite anxious these days.

Today I had a hair appointment to get a perm. It really perked up my mood to go and get that done. It was so cold but the roads were good for a change.

Came home, made supper and we ate. Then I brought the horses in,
and went on IM with my son. He wasn’t on; he called me later to say he was watching the Penguins and wanted to talk about when he watched them in 2009 when he was so sick. Husband and I watched a movie and after giving more water and hay to the horses I got on IM one more time with my son. He was a bit manic but I think calmed down enough to get to sleep.

I do try to take good care of myself, and as you can see the horses really are a big part of my day. I ride a lot, and when he is well it is something my son and I do together. Over Christmas we had two really nice afternoons on horseback. My mare had hormone issues that month and you should have seen how well my son handled her. And I was able to have a nice calm ride on the gelding. It was the highpoint of the holiday; believe me there were some low points as well. It was taxing for him but he enjoyed it all in all.

Reading your post brings back memories of growing up with a wood stove. There’s something about that kind of heat it that is so welcoming and warms you through and through. We had chickens and a rooster named Old Joe. Only my dad could go near him.

I’m glad you had two good afternoons over the holidays. Makes it all worth it in my opinion.

I am not in my roll as a caregiver. I’m in the roll now as recipient of care. Usually my day would include making breakfast and waking my brother up on time to get to work.

I would check his meds and see if he took them, make a grocery list and do some light cleaning. I would check in with Mom and Dad if there was any new information about my brother and then I would get ready for work. I would also pack him a lunch. (Then in a sneaky fashion, I would take one cigarette out of his pack.) Sometimes my brother drives, some times I do. He would go on to his place and I would go to the pool

I go to school and he would come home. I get home, make dinner and if was still light out, we would then play on the beach or just hang out.

Now I’m told to sit and stay while he does everything I used to do. I am really proud of what he’s done for himself. like yesterday… he called in and picked up his own med refills. My jaw is still on the floor.

Gosh y’all are talking about horses, wood stoves, chickens and roosters, sounds really nice and comforting:)

Here’s my day today:
Got up around 8, I could smell the coffee that my husband was brewing. Put on my robe and joined hubby in the kitchen/breakfast area for our morning ritual of reading the Atlanta Journal, swapping sections back and forth as we finish each one, and drinking coffee. We have a view of our heavily wooded back yard and our “squirrel proof” bird feeder, and we love to watch what we call our “Grand Central Station” of birds who visit, cardinals, woodpeckers, blue birds, nut hatches, doves, and lots more. It’s fun to watch the pecking order they have.

About 9:00 I get ready to go to the gym – my niece and I meet for one of our favorite classes there called Body Works at 9:45. We chatted after class for a bit and I got back home about 11:15. Ate a bowl of cereal, played with my boxer, checked my laptop for new items on Facebook, email or, etc. In the shower at 12 Noon, then ready to begin the other part of my day around 1. Went to the grocery store to pick up a few items. Around 3 washed a load of clothes, then hung out with hubby for a while in the kitchen area just chatting. Printed out some items that I needed for our subdivision HOA meeting this evening. I’m secretary on the Board and we have these meetings once a month. Around 5:30 prepared dinner for hubby and me, lightly breaded chicken strips, baked sweet potatoes and mixed vegetables. HOA meeting from 7:00 to 9:45. Walked my boxer, Harry. My female boxer Hannah goes back and forth between my house and our daughter’s house. Didn’t walk Harry too far though – it’s very cold and windy here tonight - mid 20’s and who knows what the wind chill is! Didn’t see too much of son today – he is back home and laying pretty low in his downstairs apartment. I’m still shaken up about the loss of my ring, so things have been pretty tense. But at least today was a calm day with no major upheavals, and for that I am thankful.

Thanks Barbie for starting this thread. It’s interesting to get a peek into the lives of everyone:)

Waking up to the smell of coffee brewing is nice. We recently got a new coffee maker so that we could auto set the brewing time. One of my sisters has “Grand Central Station” in her back yard too. It’s soothing to watch them. Gotta love that wind chill factor. I’m glad your son is back home. I’m sorry you didn’t get your rind back. That has to be hard to deal with. When I was using drugs I paid for it once with a ring I had that was my mom’s wedding ring… Still kick myself for that one.

I’m still chuckling over that. Roles may be changing but you are still his biggest fan and vice verse.

Slept in a bit this morning. Up at 6:40. Morning everyone!

My son had his shower yesterday and I only had to remind him once. Someone from the PACT Team called. Apparently they were scheduled to see him yesterday. I guess they forgot to tell us lol. Of course he asked for my son. I explained how it’s been working so far. I make the appointments and tell my son. If left up to him he would put off the appointments and cancel them. I don’t want to talk to anyone today… Although once they are here he opens up really well and they are usually here for an hour so the appointments do him good. We will set something up the beginning of next week. He’s been in a pretty good mood. Liking his play station. I think he’s taking a fair bit of Gabapentin lately. Per his pdoc he can take more then prescribed so I will see how it plays out.

My daughter called again yesterday. I guess she’s really missing her mom. I miss her too. Doing my best to have her see the positive side of things and not make things harder then they need to be. She seems to set herself up for difficult times. Staying up late so can’t get up for school… which means being in trouble again lol. Although she texted me at 1:30 am which was 10:30 pm her time (3 hours behind) that she was going to bed. That time difference can be a pain.

My son brought up yesterday moving back with his Grandmother, his previous caregiver. She had 3 heart attacks a little while ago. He lived with her for two years and it got pretty bad. She is older and not physically healthy. Mentally she was on the verge of being admitted herself. My son developed a chronic marijuana addiction as she can’t do boundaries or smell anything so she never knew when he was using. She blamed his medications when he was stoned. Anyways not a good scenario. Bottom line is him moving back with her would probably be really bad for both of them. Her health and my son’s recovery would quickly go out the window. I do believe my son loves her but I think his motivation is subconsciously his addiction. Two days or more of marijuana use with friend, increased Gabapentin use and now PACT being on board means flight mode is kicking in. If true feelings were motivating him than I think he would be calling her everyday but that is not the cause. Instead of calling her last night he went to his friends for a long time which usually means marijuana use.

Today will hopefully be laundry day for my son. Do dishes, make bed, get dressed, exercise. Go to the store for milk. Get back to my glossary since most of yesterday I spent on here and trying to drum up activity in the family category. Hubby’s prescription can be picked up tomorrow as I think he will be off of work again for a week or so after today. He was off for three weeks over the holidays. Not good financially but that’s how it goes when working construction and I prefer he not draw Employment Insurance as he has to pay back 30% of it when doing his taxes. The money from his snow plowing certainly comes in handy during the winter months.

Hope everyone has a good day.

Hubby got home at 7 am this morning from snow plowing so he’s sleeping.
Have to make him a doctor’s appointment to go over some test results and refill his Ciprelax
Have to pick up my son’s weekly blister pack. Clozapine to be picked up tomorrow.
We have to take the car in. The interlock device needs to be serviced.
Told my daughter I would try and find her a family doctor where she lives. A teacher thinks she may have clinical depression so want to get something started on that. Maybe get a care package put together and sent out to her today or this week.
Post office & bank once my hubby wakes up.

I wish I could get all that done in a day.

A care package sounds nice for your daughter. I like care packages. Is your daughter going to come home to you for a while?

Right now I’m looking at going out to where she is for her graduation in June. So both my son and I will go. She was thinking about coming to me for March break as this is usually when I schedule follow up x-rays for her scoliosis surgery to make sure the rods are still in place but I can’t afford to do both. She has also talked about coming back with me in June for a visit but wants the boyfriend to come too. 5 adults in a 2 bedroom… I don’t even want to imagine that scenario.

If I am being too nosey, please say. Do the rods ever come out? Or are they in there for good? Or is it one of those things that will improve when she stops growing?

They are there for good. I think there is 2 rods then all the bolts that hold the rods to her spine. Her spine was an S shape. So they straightened it and attached the rods to keep it straight. Her last x-ray almost a year ago looked good. They can break or get detached which is why we have to do follow up x-rays. She now has perfect posture :wink: Although doing her own toe nails is still a little hard for her as normal mobility is not there.

I want to write about my day yesterday, but I thought I’d start with the end for a change

My son and I communicate via instant messenger from time to time during the day, and always before we go to bed. Last night the exchange was humorous and pleasant as it has often been of late. In the old days the conversation was often negative and it would degenerate into his being abusive towards me It was hard not to take it all personally and refrain from defending myself. I learned how to deal with that from the LEAP method.

Last summer we were fighting a lot about his decision to go to the school. I remember sitting outside with my laptop doing IM with him, all the while drinking my nightly glass of wine (!). Then I would sign off, walk to the barn, saddle my horse and go riding!! I did that practically every night last summer…that was how I got through it all.

Of course last summer he was not med compliant and he was often off drinking and smoking with his friends, I know he was.

I just cherish moments like last night when we can converse and I have my son back…

LEAP is a wonderful tool. I think it helped me and my son a lot.

It is a wonderful experience to have those moments that can be cherished and keep hope going. Thank you for sharing this.

Those enjoyable, lighthearted conversations certainly are a treasure. That’s when we can go to bed at night with a peaceful feeling in our hearts:)

Today my son and I get to meet his new pdoc from the PACT program. He is taking the extra visits in stride :thumbsup: Current schedule is a nurse comes to our home every Monday and Thursday. The pdoc can even make home visits if necessary or someone from PACT can pick him up and take him there. This time we will go to him as I want to meet him. My son will have to sign paperwork giving me access to his file and to talk to them since he is legally an adult. Hoping that won’t be an issue. We also have to get a new blood work requisition form filled out so that his clozapine results go to PACT instead of the early intervention team.

Have to get to the pharmacy this morning as I forgot to pick up his medications yesterday. :frowning: Thankfully I usually have extra meds so it’s only his Lithium that got missed last night. Having hubby home on a Monday threw me off.

My daughter received her care package. It made her happy. Trying to call her every morning to make sure she is up for school. Although sometimes she just goes back to bed… Will have to follow up with her dad and see if they have tried to get her in to see his wife’s family doctor as the one my daughter currently has is not a good one. Someone needs to step in and help her deal with her depression before it gets bad again. A little hard for me to help long distance.

“Woke up,
Got out of bed,
dragged a comb across my head…”

Well, there was no getting around that reference…haha.

Anyway, I wake up in the mornings at around seven thirty which is as late as I am able to sleep without being late.
I wake my brother up and prepare breakfast which is usually just breakfast cereal or toast, something simple. I am not a devoted chef!

Then, I go to work and watch a clock all day until I can finally go home.

After work usually is different every night. Sometimes I am able to relax and watch television, or read a book. Sometimes I am searching all over town for my brother or trying to bear his LOUD music. (I have learned that Pink Floyd does not sound as good hearing it though the wall for the four hundredth consecutive time.)

Today though, I had to clean and clean and clean.Definitely not something I dig. I watched a great art movie alone (which was great) and some Top Of The Pop re-runs with my brother.(Who will be dressing up the strangest this week? Can you find the stylophone? How many of these folks secretly wish they were Bob Dylan?).

I spend way too much time in front of the tube!