I say NO…He cant take care of himself. Actually there is adult child support which goes above SSI , when an adult child cannot support self because of illness. My son 25 too, and schitz. he has no clue how to take care of self. He doesnt think ill, but if not on meds, out of it. Get him a camper or tiny house or studio near you, or with you…get a care taker paid by gov to go 3 times a week or daily to make sure he gets med, eats, cleans and social. There are helper s put there. At minimum set up all supports. I have my son with me…another option is to go to a home where someone has caretaker and yakes care of them, uaes ssi money. In idaho you take a class and sign up and pay 150 to be caretaker for your kid. Gov pays min wage for hours of care…u can even take in another and have. Maybe i will do this so my son has a friend too…others are doing it…to help pay for a house…we need more sources and help and maybe groups to have them get together for support friendship.
U could check your state, CA pays 15 to 18 am hour i believe when u care for family memeber, IHSS, and I had about 59 hours a month when he was 18 there. It helps for ur time to clean, shop, laundry…
Thats selfish…your mother wants you to live to be there for her? Your an adult son who is capable. And she us adult…yet not for you to have an ill son? Who may be more childlike…Thats horrible. If on meds they can be very calm and need help…
Why dont you leave her? Let her be alone and you be an adult and pay for a place…? U exoect ypur son to be alone but ypy and your mom.cant? Think about it…thats hypocracy…not attractive either if yphr a grown man or woman. Im busting my but paying 2000 a month and taking care of my 25 yr old…ssi is abput 794, and get income helping him, food stamps after they are 22, i believe. So he can also get about 275 amonth food stamps, and 50 dollars for incidentals…HHS health and human services…plus he can get low income rent or group home or free loving if you search…how could u be in a hotel knowing he is sleeping outside? U need to help him…we dont need more mentally ill homeless…im starting non profit to help these people, so i hope people.donate so i can get tiny homes built for them. Im almost done with website for Karlishouse.com…i will try and get donations and then land and then build and I will need people to help.
Well I am in Ohio today. We have a phone appointment with social security on Wednesday. When I talk to the gal about becoming Jesse’s payee for his SSDI she told me I had to open and checking account in both our names. So I did that. However unfortunately I wasn’t thinking and opened it at the same bank that he has an account with so he will have access to those funds. So now I am perplexed as to how to get the money without him having access to it. Even if I go to a different bank his name will be on the account and he may find a way to get in. The reason I was going to be his payee was to pay his rent and bills so he has a roof over his head. I am so frustrated. Apparently I have to be his guardian, told to me by a lawyer, before I can have that money transferred into an account with is my name. I told him I would cosign on an apartment for him if I was his payee. I am also on SSDI and cannot afford to pay the remainder of the rent should he get evicted. I don’t know if he’s taking his meds or not. We cannot hardly talk on the phone without him flying into a range. I did not trust him especially with money. My mom is scheduled for shoulder surgery and will need help during her recovery. I am just torn, I will wait till Wednesday too talk to the agent at SSA and Jesse will be on the phone also. I don’t want to talk about it with him anymore as I already have and he doesn’t understand. I want to explain to the woman the issue with him having access to the funds then what’s the point of being the payee? We have an appointment at a clinic that he was referred to when he was discharged from the hospital. He had an appointment last Monday and I was there and he wasn’t. He made up all kinds of excuses that he couldn’t find it even though I sent him the directions the address the phone number. So he has rescheduled for Thursday and we will see what happens. He needs to get his prescriptions from this clinic. I am ready to throw in the towel because I cannot handle him when he’s unmedicated. Even with the meds he’s on if he’s taking them I don’t think they are very effective. I am hoping even though this is an intake appointment, that they might be able to find housing for him. I have already paid out about $4,000 to cover some of his bills. This is on my credit cards and I have that to pay off before I can move back to Ohio because I will have to buy a car and I can afford to make car payments and pay the bills I need to pay right now. I just keep praying for God to inspire my thoughts and words. Yes my mother is a very selfish person and my siblings agree that I should just leave her there. I’ve already told her that I am moving back up here in September with or without her. But September is a long way away but it will give me time to get my bills paid down enough that I will be able to afford an apartment and a car payment and insurance etc I cannot have him live with me because he scares me and has gotten almost violent with me before. He would pretend he was going to hug me and then squeeze me so hard I felt like my ribs were going to break and when I told him to stop he just refused. He has pinned me down on the couch and would not let me up. So I’m still back to finding him affordable housing. I tried it when he calls me because it always turns into a confrontation. I forget sometimes that I’m talking to a sick person. This is my only source of self care. Where I live in Florida there are only five therapists and none of them are taking new patients. I was a member of Al-Anon and know that I am supposed to detach with love. This is my son and I just cannot abandon him but I also cannot help him. I can’t force him to take his medications keep track of him to make sure that he’s safe. He has a car and drives around aimlessly burning up gas. He has the sense of entitlement. It’s so hard for me to discern whether his behavior, or at least part of it is due to his upbringing. His dad was an alcoholic and they did not get along. We were divorced and dad would always jump in and save Jesse from many consequences. Of course this may my parenting extremely difficult. He pretty much got away with anything because of his dad. So I know when he’s delusional because he makes no sense. He is on Medicaid and I doubt there are any psychiatrists that accept Medicaid. I think they have one at the clinic maybe once a week. We’ve been through this clinic experience before and he just stopped going to his appointments. He was off his meds and didn’t think there was anything wrong with him. I think that might still be the case even though he says otherwise. Anyway working with that clinic was the best thing he had going and we did family counseling. He just wasn’t interested. So I am really anxious about the next few days when he finds out that I will not cosign on an apartment which he can’t really afford anyway unless the money can be put into an account without his name on it.
Hi @Kaltmann, sorry this response is so brief. I just wanted to say that I am my son’s Social Security payee representative and the money comes into an account that only has my name on it. I pay his rent and utilities from that account. I am not my son’s guardian. Our accounts are at the same bank, of course he has no access to the funds because they are in my name. I set it up as a separate account, no other money goes into that account and it is used exclusively for his rent and utilities.
My son’s therapist is paid for by Medicaid. The therapist works with a local low income county health clinic. The therapist billed Medicare first, when Medicare declined the therapist billed Medicaid and they pay. They first needed to have Medicare decline.
Thanks for your response. I have an account in my name that I have planned to use for this purpose. What state are you in? I guess it shouldn’t matter because social security is federal. I will talk to the SSA representative about the ineffective way she’s going about this. If we can’t get this taken care of he is going to fly into a rage. Which he will probably do while we’re on this conference call with SSA. Jesse has gone too therapy when we worked with the clinic, family, one-on-one group. He would say nothing and family therapy and deny his actions. I know he’s already said to me he promises not to take any money out of the joint account but I can’t believe that and I can’t take the risk. So I will try to get this agent to accept my bank account number. Hopefully I won’t get the same person I spoke to because I have gotten different answers to the same question from multiple SSA reps.
Hi., is.it SSI, or SS D I? You can get payee, call and tell situation…sometimes they made me have doctor letter… said he spends all.ssi gambling,gaming online in one day.
I never have done the joint bank account cause they sent on debit card, but instructions say…and the banker said i had to bring son in…son wouldnt go in to bank…noone has said a thing been 2 years…
But if u do…its in his name for his benefit…but he cant touch it…not like other types of acccounts…
My son acts these ways towards me too…i hid all knives and scissors and recently belts, sticks…
He is erratic on meds so gets violent when off…otherwise good…
If no one objects in family to u being giradian/ conservator… guardianship/ conservatorship not too hard to get and many courts have help for free to do that…
Many hospitals and doctors, psych take medicaid and free health care of the states…NO way would I have been able to pay all these 9 years…so far, its been 9 hospitalizations at $1,500 a day…and the meds my son takes cost $2,000 a month. Ive only had to pay $1,000 so far all these years prior to getting free health care for him…when I had a co pay with Aetna…
Hang in there…i wonder if we should group.together or a few to live in home situations , to help take care of several of our kids together and let them hang out…